The Perfect Camera

Jamie Pillers

Skeptic
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Today I spotted a Samsung advertisement for one of their latest P&S digital cameras. This phrase is included in the ad:

"automatically retouches facial imperfections" !!

So... does it seek out and remove warts and nose hairs? Does it open that half-closed eye? And what would it think of those mutton-chop sideburns?? Anyway, this got me to thinking about where all these feature-laden cameras are going to be a few years from now. Here's some possibilities I can imagine:

The "Ansel Adams" scene mode: Shutter won't fire if there are any man-made objects in the frame and if the scene includes more than 6 zones.

The "HCB" scene mode: Converts image to b&w and replaces background with a random Parisian street scene.

The "Daido Moriyama" scene mode: Converts image to b&w, adds a serious amount of contrast, converts all daylight to street lamp light, and adds a touch of blurriness.

The "SAI" setting (Super Auto/Interesting-ness): Hang camera around your neck. No need to turn it on... camera automatically turns itself on when it senses something "interesting", brackets three shots, converts to HDR, then uses WIFI to send it off to Flickr.

Are there any other features you can think of that the camera designers are forgetting?
 
Today I spotted a Samsung advertisement for one of their latest P&S digital cameras. This phrase is included in the ad:

"automatically retouches facial imperfections" !!

Well, let's consider a couple things.

First, it's a point and shoot. Not for people who are generally going to be spending serious time in a photo editing program, nor would they have been darkroom aficionados back in the day. To such people, this could well be a worth-while accessory. I dunno, I'm not the market in this case.

Second, the compact P&S digital camera market is crowded and we're in a global recession. The name of the game in 'me too' cameras has been megapixels, which everyone here bitches and moans about nonstop. So here's something that differentiates and is NOT more megapixels for a change. We should be cheering that they're at least TRYING something besides piling on more megapixels.

Third, I think the engineers should be commended for at least trying to think outside the box of what a camera traditionally is. We've seen innovations that might not be terribly useful, and might fail in the marketplace, but at least people are trying. Wi-Fi built in, Bluetooth, facial recognition (which seems to have caught on, now everyone's doing it), high frame-rate, HD Movie mode, shake reduction, enhanced ISO, ultra-long zoom, you name it. Nothing wrong with tossing something out there and seeing if people like it. If they don't, they don't, and it will go away.
 
Crazy. Soon they'll be selling cheap DSLR's with 'Portrait', 'Landscape' and just to be retro 'Manual' (whatever that means) modes on.
 
It would be easier for them to produce a camera that won't allow you to take a photo if the subject isn't already perfect...Bo Derek on the beach in a two piece...yes !!! anything less...no !!!
 
Perhaps the next one could have modes to simulate the aberrations, haze and cleaning marks in old Leica lenses. That would clean up those bad facial issues. ;)
 
It would be easier for them to produce a camera that won't allow you to take a photo if the subject isn't already perfect...Bo Derek on the beach in a two piece...yes !!! anything less...no !!!

I'm with you on this, a zero fugly mode.
 
It should also be self-propelled and have GPS guidance for when you don't have the time,
are feeling too lazy, or are just too drunk to go out shooting. ;)

Chris
 
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