What are the worst words in photography?

Any culinary metaphors used to describe bokeh, tones, film advance, focus action, etc. "Creamy, buttery-smooth bokeh"? No thanks, I feel slightly ill...
 
Which one is better; X or Y? (and then proceed to publish web sized JPG´s, with no information on the picture taking and post-processing process, from which your are supposed distinguish which is superior)
 
I´m also starting to hate HDR.

Especially since I´m not very impressed with it as a tool.

What´s worse, when confronted by an HDR image (yes I call them images) I´ve not yet learned to give off enthusiastic hoos and haas, my non-committing grunts get interpreted as ignorance and the photographer starts explaining the technology and process to me as if I´m a 4-year old. Oooooooh do I hate that.
 
When people see my Zeiss Contaflex, I've also gotten "does it shoot only in black & white?"

And one I love from the antique sellers when I'm looking at a 35mm camera "they don't make the film anymore" or "it doesn't work" (when the shutter is not cocked)
 
jamesdfloyd said:
Joe...the macro shots of flowers are usually what I am bombarded with with...along with backyard family shots of the kids...and oh yes, that famous poorly exposed sunset shot from the family vacation...and it all ends with, "...aren't they a great photographer?"
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I used to keep a small portfolio with what I thought were some pretty good photos; some interesting photos, some trick photos, and some contest winners. Also 1 photograph of a foggy sunrise, and 2 poorly focused photos of bees on dandelions.

Most compliments were on the bees, then the sunrise. Go Figure.
 
Of my m2: "does it still work?"
To which i say "yes," but I silently think "no asshole, I just get my kicks by pretending to take pictures."

Airport security guard: "What do you mean it doesn't turn on?"

The standard: any incarnation of "that camera takes really good pictures."

Stupid girl I hadn't seen since highschool that "majored in photography" in college: (In a somewhat condescending/self-important tone)"That camera is pretty nice--I started out with one just like it." (she wasn't familiar with the word "leica" when I mentioned it. Stupid. Just stupid.)

Honorable mention:
"You should take a picture of that/this/him/her/them."
"Why are you so close?" --this ususally comes when I photograph people I know, and I have to briefly explain how wide-angle lenses work.
"Why did you take a picture of that?"
"Too bad it's cloudy out."
"Flash didn't go off."
"My kid/husband/wife is really into photography." And then there's some discussion of DSLRs.
"Can that camera do Macro? I love Macro." (vomit)
 
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Headline on photo magazine: "Take pictures of ******* like a pro!"

Headline on photo magazine: "Professional secrets of ******* photography!"

The words I hate the most from people looking at my pictures are "These are so sharp!"

...and (from my wife who should know better by now), "Why don't you just take some snapshots for me?"
 
Wife while on a trip:

I don't feel like stopping just so you can photograph that. It's not interesting.

If you wanted to use that other camera why did you leave it it the car?

Why are you are wasting money taking so many photos of the same thing?

What, you're changing rolls again? How many rolls are you using on this trip? What does that cost?
 
tj01 said:
I'm thinking of selling my M2, because I hardly shoot film these days since I got my DSLR, and I don't think I ever will.
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haha
i want to meet this fool
i imagine i'll save alot of money buying from him

this has to be the funniest thread i've read in ages

and yep what the duck is great (my wife rarely gets it though even after hearing me complain about the same things)
 
it's OK for leica to sell (insert diamond studded/titanium limited edition of your choice) as long as it helps them stay in business
 
oftheherd said:
Wife while on a trip:

I don't feel like stopping just so you can photograph that. It's not interesting.

If you wanted to use that other camera why did you leave it it the car?

Why are you are wasting money taking so many photos of the same thing?

What, you're changing rolls again? How many rolls are you using on this trip? What does that cost?
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Story of my life

I leave for a week in paris and a week in london next thursday
i will have heard all of the above

Add
Why couldn't you just bring one camera?
you're not bring that with us are you (my bronica kit)
can't you just leave the camera behind today for once
.....
 
"Did you get any good shots?" Why do people keep asking me this? I got tired of telling people that there is no view screen on the back of my camera, so now I just tell them, "No I got a whole roll of pure crap." (depending on who it is, ha)
 
"That must be expensive" or "that's a nice camera" by someone who looks like they might want to rob you.
 
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