jagwar.jim
Member
Hey guys,
I recently went to the UK to surprise my mother for her 60th birthday, all the way from where I live in Japan. The whole weekend was great, and the surprise went really well.
Before the trip I thought about documenting it and making a photo essay out of it. I have tried one before, about where I live, but this one felt like it had much more potential. I enjoyed the experience and think I'll try more photo essays in the future, but for now, I was hoping for some feedback on this one! Any feedback is helpful. Do the photos link together well, are there any shots that you feel don't fit? etc.
Thanks for your help everyone!
For those interested, they were shot on a Leica M7 and 35mm cron, using fomapan 400 and Provia 100F.
http://www.paulcoatesphoto.com/a-brief-trip-to-england
I recently went to the UK to surprise my mother for her 60th birthday, all the way from where I live in Japan. The whole weekend was great, and the surprise went really well.
Before the trip I thought about documenting it and making a photo essay out of it. I have tried one before, about where I live, but this one felt like it had much more potential. I enjoyed the experience and think I'll try more photo essays in the future, but for now, I was hoping for some feedback on this one! Any feedback is helpful. Do the photos link together well, are there any shots that you feel don't fit? etc.
Thanks for your help everyone!
For those interested, they were shot on a Leica M7 and 35mm cron, using fomapan 400 and Provia 100F.
http://www.paulcoatesphoto.com/a-brief-trip-to-england
clayne
shoot film or die
Excuse my lack of positive notes right now (it's not that it's severely lacking, or anything), but cut the shot count in half. Make it about shared moments, shared family time, happiness, emotion, etc. I like the slides from the hot air balloon. I'm a bit on the fence about including so much airport stuff (and I like airports). I'd kill some of the shots of actually waiting in the airport, or maybe leave just one. Any shot that just has a person that context won't immediately reveal (besides your mother), I'd kill that shot.
Short captions I think would add some intimacy and context. I don't believe that photos always speak for themselves or that should be depended on.
Your black and white shots are really low grain. I thought I was looking at TMX100. I think they could do with a bit larger size, personally.
Short captions I think would add some intimacy and context. I don't believe that photos always speak for themselves or that should be depended on.
Your black and white shots are really low grain. I thought I was looking at TMX100. I think they could do with a bit larger size, personally.
konicaman
konicaman
Some really nice shots. And yes I would agree that cutting down on the non-family stuff would be good - giving us more of a story. I do like the shot of the cows but can't really see any connection to the rest of the story? I think the airport stuff could make a nice essay of it's own. The photo of the balloon 's shadow in the field does indeed deserve a large print!
Nelson Tan
Established
Hi Jim, I think its a nice attempt but it is more like a visual diary than a photo essay. I agree with Clayne that there are too many shots, many of which don't make sense for the viewer. Perhaps it can be attributed to the fact that there are many personal photos which carries emotion or memories for you, but to the casual viewer there is no context. If that is the case, captions may be very helpful for us to understand why the photo is important (as what Clayne mentioned as well). I also feel that the photos should closely communicate the essence of the story, i.e your mother's emotions of seeing you, the relationship between family members, and her elation of having the family with her on her special day etc. Just my two cents...
jagwar.jim
Member
Thanks guys, I appreciate your feedback!
Nelson, I think what you said about it feeling more like a visual diary might well be spot on. It brings back a lot of memories for me, and for example with the cows, you had to be there!
Thanks again for all your feedback guys, I will try to learn from it and do better next time! I hope you liked the photographs either way.
Nelson, I think what you said about it feeling more like a visual diary might well be spot on. It brings back a lot of memories for me, and for example with the cows, you had to be there!
Thanks again for all your feedback guys, I will try to learn from it and do better next time! I hope you liked the photographs either way.
lawnpotter
Well-known
I liked the airport shots . It shows your transition from one world to another. I liked the essay or what ever you want to call it. I like your family. I even felt a bit envious looking at the pictures. Good job!
