bmattock
Veteran
This morning, I woke up at 3:00 a.m. Don't know why. The house was quiet, there was no reason for me to be up. Still, I was wide awake. I got up and went to my sanctum sanctorum, in the room over the front porch that I've turned into an office of sorts. It looks out over our street, in our small town, and nothing ever really happens here - it's a quiet place, and that's the way we like it.
As I said, I got up at 3, and then I sat in my computer room. I puttered around online, I listend to several trains go by - long freight trains, by the sounds they made. Thought about how I could get some night shots of them going by, maybe from a bridge or something. It was so quiet and peaceful - I can hear everything from the street here - even people walking by and talking.
I'm off work today, because we've got some friends coming in from Denver on the Amtrak, they got misrouted and ended up in Chicago last night - they're enroute to Washington now and will be in Rocky Mount, NC tomorrow night. A day late but who cares when you're on a train? Then we're all gonna jump on a train to Boston this Saturday for a couple of nights and then the Mrs and I will head home while my friends go on to parts unknown.
So I was up, even if I was tired, when my wife arose and made me coffee (bless her). I was up when she left for work. I started in on some chores, since our friends are coming and I had to spruce up the guest bedroom.
But then I noticed all the undercover police cars in front of our house. Looked out, and discovered that just about ever dang cop in the town of Wilson was here, and our street was blocked off at both ends. Our neighbor across the street's house was cordoned off in police evidence tape, like you see in the movies. Two giant forensic vans and a CSI van and an ambulance. No sirens, they all just creeped up on us. They're still there, they've been there all day and now into the evening.
Seems our neighbor across the street had met an untimely end.
I never knew her. We're fairly new in town, having moved here from Albuquerque, New Mexico in late March (we bought this house in June). I had seen her many times. She had a daily habit of walking through the neighborhood. I didn't know her name, but I called her "Middle of the Street Walking Woman" to my wife, because she ignored sidewalks and walked straight down the middle of the street, moving for cars, but otherwise sticking to the middle of the road. She would walk tight and fast, with her hands grasping each other as she walked. I thought she might have been, well, slightly disturbed. She had a nervous gait, and she never looked to the sides while she went. I tried to wave at her a few times when I'd be out working on the yard, but she always ignored me. My wife told me she'd shy away when a door in the neighborhood would open - as if we were invading her space or frightening her.
It turns out that she was an art teacher at the local college. She was also an artist of some note (I'm told) and she was going to turn 50 tomorrow. She had recently split with her husband, he is in Florida. The police I spoke to said they had not yet ruled it a suicide - technically it is still a 'suspicious death' and is being treated as a potential homicide.
Her name was Paula A. Patterson; I'm sorry that I did not make more of an effort to meet her, even if only to introduce myself and say hello now and again. I know most of my neighbors, and they're real nice people, I just hadn't made her acquaintance.
Wilson, North Carolina is about 40,000 people. It's an hour's drive from the nearest large city (Raleigh) and we have about three homicides a year. Our neighborhood is quiet - an historic district full of restored bungalow cottages from the early 1920's. Nothing ever happens here, and that's the way we like it. Wife and I bought a Christmas tree tonight. We'll decorate it tomorrow, and try to celebrate the holidays in a proper, happy, fashion.
The holidays are here, my friends. Things happen, people lose hope. Holidays can make it worse. Please don't lose hope. Turn to someone, a friend, a family member, even post here if you need to, or send someone an email or call them.
The news people came and interviewed me, Gloria Lopez, who it turns out is from Colorado Springs (I grew up in Denver, at least since age 12). I'm on WRAL-TV Channel 5 in Raleigh at 10 p.m. EST tonight, if anyone cares to hear me blather. But I'm sad, really sad. A great world out there, and we need not be alone and hurting. Life is too short to spend it in pain.
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
http://www.wral.com/news/3959269/detail.html
As I said, I got up at 3, and then I sat in my computer room. I puttered around online, I listend to several trains go by - long freight trains, by the sounds they made. Thought about how I could get some night shots of them going by, maybe from a bridge or something. It was so quiet and peaceful - I can hear everything from the street here - even people walking by and talking.
I'm off work today, because we've got some friends coming in from Denver on the Amtrak, they got misrouted and ended up in Chicago last night - they're enroute to Washington now and will be in Rocky Mount, NC tomorrow night. A day late but who cares when you're on a train? Then we're all gonna jump on a train to Boston this Saturday for a couple of nights and then the Mrs and I will head home while my friends go on to parts unknown.
So I was up, even if I was tired, when my wife arose and made me coffee (bless her). I was up when she left for work. I started in on some chores, since our friends are coming and I had to spruce up the guest bedroom.
But then I noticed all the undercover police cars in front of our house. Looked out, and discovered that just about ever dang cop in the town of Wilson was here, and our street was blocked off at both ends. Our neighbor across the street's house was cordoned off in police evidence tape, like you see in the movies. Two giant forensic vans and a CSI van and an ambulance. No sirens, they all just creeped up on us. They're still there, they've been there all day and now into the evening.
Seems our neighbor across the street had met an untimely end.
I never knew her. We're fairly new in town, having moved here from Albuquerque, New Mexico in late March (we bought this house in June). I had seen her many times. She had a daily habit of walking through the neighborhood. I didn't know her name, but I called her "Middle of the Street Walking Woman" to my wife, because she ignored sidewalks and walked straight down the middle of the street, moving for cars, but otherwise sticking to the middle of the road. She would walk tight and fast, with her hands grasping each other as she walked. I thought she might have been, well, slightly disturbed. She had a nervous gait, and she never looked to the sides while she went. I tried to wave at her a few times when I'd be out working on the yard, but she always ignored me. My wife told me she'd shy away when a door in the neighborhood would open - as if we were invading her space or frightening her.
It turns out that she was an art teacher at the local college. She was also an artist of some note (I'm told) and she was going to turn 50 tomorrow. She had recently split with her husband, he is in Florida. The police I spoke to said they had not yet ruled it a suicide - technically it is still a 'suspicious death' and is being treated as a potential homicide.
Her name was Paula A. Patterson; I'm sorry that I did not make more of an effort to meet her, even if only to introduce myself and say hello now and again. I know most of my neighbors, and they're real nice people, I just hadn't made her acquaintance.
Wilson, North Carolina is about 40,000 people. It's an hour's drive from the nearest large city (Raleigh) and we have about three homicides a year. Our neighborhood is quiet - an historic district full of restored bungalow cottages from the early 1920's. Nothing ever happens here, and that's the way we like it. Wife and I bought a Christmas tree tonight. We'll decorate it tomorrow, and try to celebrate the holidays in a proper, happy, fashion.
The holidays are here, my friends. Things happen, people lose hope. Holidays can make it worse. Please don't lose hope. Turn to someone, a friend, a family member, even post here if you need to, or send someone an email or call them.
The news people came and interviewed me, Gloria Lopez, who it turns out is from Colorado Springs (I grew up in Denver, at least since age 12). I'm on WRAL-TV Channel 5 in Raleigh at 10 p.m. EST tonight, if anyone cares to hear me blather. But I'm sad, really sad. A great world out there, and we need not be alone and hurting. Life is too short to spend it in pain.
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
http://www.wral.com/news/3959269/detail.html
SolaresLarrave
My M5s need red dots!
Bill... you have a way with words. Nice story, however sad, but it was nicely told.
This, together with your bit about turning a Cherokee into a convertible, are some of the things that make this forum such an enjoyable place. Here I am, piqued by a story about anything but photography, told in a nice, kind of intimist style (like you're sitting right here, with a tumbler of Scotch in your hand).
Man... These are some days of weird connotations. And loneliness has a way to sneak up on you.
Funny, for some reason I started thinking about death too... Not that way, something like wondering what my funeral may be like, what the paper may say about me, whether I'd be mourned by many or not (we're DINKs, my wife and I), and who will probably turn his or her head in disbelief.
But then, I don't see myself leaving this world until I'm retired, accumulated a couple more Leica lenses and traveled from Peru to Argentina by land, following an old Colonial road!
Just your post, Bill... so particularly poignant. Thanks a big lot!!! And have a nice week too!!
This, together with your bit about turning a Cherokee into a convertible, are some of the things that make this forum such an enjoyable place. Here I am, piqued by a story about anything but photography, told in a nice, kind of intimist style (like you're sitting right here, with a tumbler of Scotch in your hand).
Man... These are some days of weird connotations. And loneliness has a way to sneak up on you.
Funny, for some reason I started thinking about death too... Not that way, something like wondering what my funeral may be like, what the paper may say about me, whether I'd be mourned by many or not (we're DINKs, my wife and I), and who will probably turn his or her head in disbelief.
But then, I don't see myself leaving this world until I'm retired, accumulated a couple more Leica lenses and traveled from Peru to Argentina by land, following an old Colonial road!
Just your post, Bill... so particularly poignant. Thanks a big lot!!! And have a nice week too!!
O
Oldprof
Guest
Very poignant story Bill, and masterfully told. If Professor Paula Patterson did commit suicide I'm sure the culprit was depression. It is a killer. If you know anyone who is suffering from clinical depression encourage them to get professional help.
But however sad Professor Patterson's end was, I'm sure her life was significant. Here is a testimonial from a Barton College art student that appears on the College's website:
“Even on my first day as a freshman, I felt connected to the
Art Department faculty. During the three years I attended
Barton, I became closer to the professors as they nurtured
my creative energy – each in their own way with the utmost
care and concern. I feel lucky to have studied in the Case Art
Building and to have absorbed all that I could from these
amazing artists and professors."
Sarah Hooper Joyner, Class of 2002
But however sad Professor Patterson's end was, I'm sure her life was significant. Here is a testimonial from a Barton College art student that appears on the College's website:
“Even on my first day as a freshman, I felt connected to the
Art Department faculty. During the three years I attended
Barton, I became closer to the professors as they nurtured
my creative energy – each in their own way with the utmost
care and concern. I feel lucky to have studied in the Case Art
Building and to have absorbed all that I could from these
amazing artists and professors."
Sarah Hooper Joyner, Class of 2002
GeneW
Veteran
A sad, but well-told story, Bill. Let us know the police followup.
Agree totally with Oldprof -- if you know someone who is getting clinically depressed, encourage them to seek medical help. It's a widespread and invisible illness that is very dangerous to ignore.
Gene
Agree totally with Oldprof -- if you know someone who is getting clinically depressed, encourage them to seek medical help. It's a widespread and invisible illness that is very dangerous to ignore.
Gene
N
Nikon Bob
Guest
Bill
I always enjoy your story telling style no matter what it is about. A good friend of mine suicided some years ago and we all missed any clue as to how depressed he may have been. It is not easy to spot this invisible killer illness and yours is a timely reminder that the upcoming holiday season seems to heighten it. Well said.
Bob
I always enjoy your story telling style no matter what it is about. A good friend of mine suicided some years ago and we all missed any clue as to how depressed he may have been. It is not easy to spot this invisible killer illness and yours is a timely reminder that the upcoming holiday season seems to heighten it. Well said.
Bob
g0tr00t
Well-known
How sad. My sister-in-law is suffering from depression since her father passed away. My wife has dealt with her depression through counseling and sorts.
Although, my sister-in-law feels that she can self heal from talk shows and books
We have tried many, many,many times to help her. All of the family came together to get her help, but she refuses. She states that it costs too much. Sad, she has more money than she can spend in her lifetime....
She lives about 1500 miles from us and continually turns down our invitations. This is the first Christmas she refused to come to us. She blames us for making her go to a clinic for help and spending $500 for a full physical.
Legally there is nothing more we can do. So, all we do is pray for her and try to stay in touch.
Although, my sister-in-law feels that she can self heal from talk shows and books
We have tried many, many,many times to help her. All of the family came together to get her help, but she refuses. She states that it costs too much. Sad, she has more money than she can spend in her lifetime....
She lives about 1500 miles from us and continually turns down our invitations. This is the first Christmas she refused to come to us. She blames us for making her go to a clinic for help and spending $500 for a full physical.
Legally there is nothing more we can do. So, all we do is pray for her and try to stay in touch.
riskmomtx
Newbie
Depression
Depression
It is amazing that suicides can affect families. Say a prayer for them all. I wonder if psychrist could have done something.
Depression
It is amazing that suicides can affect families. Say a prayer for them all. I wonder if psychrist could have done something.