Dogman
Veteran
I posted previously that my step-son had a stroke the week before Christmas. He was in ICU at the time and doing poorly. Sadly, he died last week.
His mother, older brother and myself are all still numb. We feel like we're in a bad dream and cannot wake up. I still keep seeing the photo I took of him when he was just a little boy, dressed for a Thanksgiving program at school with his Pilgrim's hat and full costume. Except he was wearing moccasin slippers on his feet.
His mother and I spent long hours in the ICU waiting room. Eventually, she was overcome with it all and was hospitalized overnight for tests while he was still in ICU. It just added to the trauma. She recovered. He did not.
The whole time, I took pictures. I had been told by a security guard not to take pictures inside the hospital. I just nodded, walked away and continued to shoot pictures, ignoring the order. It was my dealing mechanism. I don't handle these things well so I hide my feelings behind the camera and internalize the sadness and grief. I've shown some of these photos before, posted an abbreviated version on another photo forum and put a few on Flickr. I thought I should put together a more coherent group of photos for the forum where I spend most of my time. I debated posting these but decided to leave out only a few shots that are too hard for me to see.
..............................................
His mother, older brother and myself are all still numb. We feel like we're in a bad dream and cannot wake up. I still keep seeing the photo I took of him when he was just a little boy, dressed for a Thanksgiving program at school with his Pilgrim's hat and full costume. Except he was wearing moccasin slippers on his feet.
His mother and I spent long hours in the ICU waiting room. Eventually, she was overcome with it all and was hospitalized overnight for tests while he was still in ICU. It just added to the trauma. She recovered. He did not.
The whole time, I took pictures. I had been told by a security guard not to take pictures inside the hospital. I just nodded, walked away and continued to shoot pictures, ignoring the order. It was my dealing mechanism. I don't handle these things well so I hide my feelings behind the camera and internalize the sadness and grief. I've shown some of these photos before, posted an abbreviated version on another photo forum and put a few on Flickr. I thought I should put together a more coherent group of photos for the forum where I spend most of my time. I debated posting these but decided to leave out only a few shots that are too hard for me to see.
..............................................
mrtoml
Mancunian
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there.
raydm6
Yay! Cameras! 🙈🙉🙊┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘ [◉"]
These are powerful and my condolences to you and your family.
Dervla
Well-known
Dogman,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your photographs.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your photographs.
Shab
Veteran
I don't have words Dogman... a big and emotive hug for you...
skopar steve
Well-known
Very nice photos, my condolences and hang in there. As time goes by these images will help with the trauma. Thanks for sharing with us.
JohnGellings
Well-known
I´m so sorry about your stepson. That cannot be easy. I wholeheartedly feel photography is therapeutic. Do whatever it takes to keep on going.
Harry the K
Well-known
A sad story well dealt with. It´s certainly even harder to see one of the following generation go, that just does not seem the natural way of proceedings.
16 years ago I saw my mother die of cancer. During the 3 months I took a picture of her every day and assembled a little album after. My friends say it was my strongest photographic work, but not easy to look at.
16 years ago I saw my mother die of cancer. During the 3 months I took a picture of her every day and assembled a little album after. My friends say it was my strongest photographic work, but not easy to look at.
sojournerphoto
Veteran
I am sorry to hear about all your loss. I hope you will find strength and hope together.
Thank you for sharing your pictures - knowing makes them poignant.
Thank you for sharing your pictures - knowing makes them poignant.
Out to Lunch
Ventor
My condolences to you, your family, and your friends.
RS2
Established
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing your photos.
Thank you for sharing your photos.
peppard
Established
My condolences to all the family...Whishing you strength and courage.
Thanks for the photos.
Thanks for the photos.
JohnWolf
Well-known
So sorry for your loss, Dogman. Wishing you and your family comfort and peace.
John
John
Richard G
Veteran
Memory is a blur in these times and the fact of what the camera records is a whole lot more reliable. You making these photographs must have put you in a zone familiar to you and gave you something productive to do and probably allowed you some clearer, calmer perceptions and memories of what was going on. So many of the pictures show the awful waiting around of illness. The abstract one of the equipment against the wall will have prompted a bit of a dig from someone. What was that about? What else were you to do at that moment. The shots of stuff on the floor and the feet of a couple of you speaks also of this helpless waiting. I often think it is a pity we don’t take photographs at funerals. They are over so quickly and you hardly recall anything.
To lose a child, and to a stroke, so sudden - truly terrible. Condolences and best wishes to you and your family.
To lose a child, and to a stroke, so sudden - truly terrible. Condolences and best wishes to you and your family.
doc68
Member
I am sorry for your loss.
I admire the strength to shoot, develop, and publish the images here.
Those are some very strong images (particularly together as a series). Thank you for sharing.
I admire the strength to shoot, develop, and publish the images here.
Those are some very strong images (particularly together as a series). Thank you for sharing.
nikon_sam
Shooter of Film...
Sorry to hear of your family's loss...its got to be harder on a parent to lose a child no matter the age.
Ten years ago we started on a journey with my mom, in and out of the hospital, three stays a month long each time.
I too brought a camera and documented this time...its what we do...in the years to come looking back at these images should get easier to do...they will help you to remember the day to day things that went on and show the love of family that you all have...
Some may not think its brave to show these images but it is...its inviting others in to a very personal time of your life so Thank you for allowing us in...
Ten years ago we started on a journey with my mom, in and out of the hospital, three stays a month long each time.
I too brought a camera and documented this time...its what we do...in the years to come looking back at these images should get easier to do...they will help you to remember the day to day things that went on and show the love of family that you all have...
Some may not think its brave to show these images but it is...its inviting others in to a very personal time of your life so Thank you for allowing us in...
Freakscene
Obscure member
Your step son clearly had quality care from the equipment in the hospital views. Strokes are usually thought to be an old person event, but a third of strokes occur in people under 65. These photos can help to spread information about risk and hopefully might aid saving lives.
I agree with all the thoughts and comments. @Dogman you’ve made a lot of interesting and supportive comments on my work while I’ve been at RFF, understand that although many of us are far, we’re sending positive thoughts and hope that you can come to terms with this soon. Words are inadequate, but we’re thinking of you.
I agree with all the thoughts and comments. @Dogman you’ve made a lot of interesting and supportive comments on my work while I’ve been at RFF, understand that although many of us are far, we’re sending positive thoughts and hope that you can come to terms with this soon. Words are inadequate, but we’re thinking of you.
CMur12
Veteran
My condolences to you and your family, Dogman. May you all soon find peace in your stepson's memory.
- Murray
- Murray
yanchep_mike
Always Trying
I'm so sorry for your loss. My condolences. You are strong, man.
Godfrey
somewhat colored
Condolences for your loss. Do whatever you need to get through the grief and know that you are not alone.
2023 was a long long year of miseries. I hope 2024 will be less so, but it's already seen one of my dearest friends' sons found dead in his flat for no apparent reason. Life puts so many challenges in front of us... all we can do is try to overcome them with compassion and hope.
onwards,
G
2023 was a long long year of miseries. I hope 2024 will be less so, but it's already seen one of my dearest friends' sons found dead in his flat for no apparent reason. Life puts so many challenges in front of us... all we can do is try to overcome them with compassion and hope.
onwards,
G