A Story About Anger, Pride, and Murder

[bmattock]

This weekend past, my wife and I drove into Raleigh to go to the weekend outdoor flea-market at Carter-Finley Stadium. Unknown to us, this weekend was also a football game, NC State vs Richmond. A 'tailgater' party preceeded the game, and used the same parking space normally used by the Flea Market patrons, so there was very little parking available. Unlike many more urban or metro environments, the parking lot is huge, sprawling, and mostly just dirt lots - not well marked or patrolled, and free to enter and park. We found that many people take their tailgate parties seriously - lots of very large motorhomes parked lengthwise, with patio awnings and huge smoke pits and lots of beer and music, etc. Lots of college-age kids, some families and obvious booster and alumni. Neither my wife nor I are sports fans - so we've never been to or even through a tailgater - pardon me if my explanation seems overly simplistic.

My wife and I nearly got into a scrap with a pair of kids over a parking space. We found a person who was leaving and waited (without blocking anyone else, which I refuse to do) for him to vacate. When we tried to pull into his spot, a pair of college-age kids pulled past us in an SUV and roared into the spot, forcing us to hammer the brakes to avoid hitting them. My wife rolled down the window and had some choice words for them - they pretended not to hear us. When we found another spot, parked, and walked to the Flea Market, I said a couple of unkind words as well as we walked past them - again, they refused to make eye contact or acknowledge me. Oooh, I'm such a tough guy.

We did our Flea Market thing and then left about 3 p.m., I'm guessing. We had to drive past acres of motor homes and SUVs parked every which way; as I mentioned, dirt parking lots and no real official presence - we did see one uniformed security guard vaguely directing traffic on the way out.

The next day, I happened to be watching the news and we found that two young men are under arrest for the murder of two other young men in that same parking lot - an hour or so after we left. Here's what sounds like happened...

Two young men in an automobile roared past two young men who were tossing a football around. They objected to the noise and the dust kicked up, and one of them threw a cardboard box, hitting the automobile. The two men in the automobile got out, words were exchanged. The two men who were playing football proceeded to administer a severe beating to one of the automobile occupants (he later needed 30 stitches in his leg). The football playing men were from Chicago - one a US Marine officer - a recent graduate of Annapolis. The two men in the car were locals.

The two automobile occupants got back in their car and drove off, cursing and vowing revenge. They returned some time later, one brandishing a .38 caliber Smith & Wesson revolver. They found the two football-playing men and one of the automobile occupants shot them - one in the face and one in the back. Both young men died. The two automobile occupants then fled, but were caught that evening - along with a girlfriend of one of them, who had aided him by renting a hotel room for him to hide in. Her father turned her in to the police after she found out what had happened and called him for advice.

The young occupants of the automobile, brothers, are in jail, arrested and charged with Murder. The girlfriend is charged with being an Accessory to Murder. The two young tailgaters are dead.

I was thinking about this in relation to the harsh words I had spoken earlier that same day, in that same place, to a couple of selfish dumb kids who had quite intentionally swiped our parking space as we tried to drive into it. Imagine if they had brought a gun with them. Imagine if I had a gun with me. Imagine if the situation had escalated beyond just words, and had gone to fists or knives or bullets. Same place, same day, same approximate time. I need to watch my temper and my mouth. We all do.

Parking spaces don't matter. Pride doesn't matter. Being a 'tough guy' doesn't matter. Human lives matter. Be careful out there.


Best Regards,

Bill Mattocks

WRAL News Story

 

[back alley]

what saves me most nowadays is that i'm getting too old to back up my mouth and my body finally is starting to realize this.

i too have had too many occasions where it would have been better to back off or walk away but my 'manly pride' made that impossible.
i have been lucky in the past.

i've since decided not to push my luck - just too damn old for this stuff now.

joe

btw - i'm glad we're not reading about you in the morning papers.

joe

 

[Oldprof]

Sobering story Bill, and very well written.

 

[Nikon Bob]

You are right in that most things are not REALLY important especially when dealing with a couple of no minds. Call me a coward but I prefer to die of natural causes.

 

[SolaresLarrave]

The odd thing, Bill, is that when I started reading your tale I told myself "this sounds like the story I read in the paper this morning!" I kept reading only to add a gasp: Yep, that's the story I read about in the paper. I think it was yesterday.

Man, I was glad it was not you!!

But you're right... this is a wild world we live in... 🙁

BTW, the story was reported yesterday in the Chicago Tribune, to which I'm subscribed.

Again, I'm glad it was neither you nor your wife!

 

[FrankS]

I learned a similar lesson a few months ago: Never get out of your car to confront another driver even if they were in the wrong. They just might be bigger, stronger, angrier and crazier than you are. I got off lucky and learned a lesson. I'm getting too old to confront 28 year old security guard types, even if he did pull out into traffic causing me to brake quickly to avoid hitting him, and then racing me while I tried to pass him. Luckily here in Canada we don't have so many guns.

 

[Peter]

Point taken and noted! Even here in Singapore, people still get beaten up or worse in so called 'staring' incidents! 🙁

 

[Rich Silfver]

Re: A Story About Anger, Pride, and Murder

Be careful out there Bill. Happy to hear nothing bad happened to you or your wife.

I was thinking about this in relation to the harsh words I had spoken earlier that same day, in that same place, to a couple of selfish dumb kids who had quite intentionally swiped our parking space as we tried to drive into it. Imagine if they had brought a gun with them. Imagine if I had a gun with me. Imagine if the situation had escalated beyond just words, and had gone to fists or knives or bullets.

I must say that the above is just another reason that guns honestly should be banned outside of military and hunting-related use.

 

[bmattock]

Re: Re: A Story About Anger, Pride, and Murder

Re: Re: A Story About Anger, Pride, and Murder

Be careful out there Bill. Happy to hear nothing bad happened to you or your wife.

I must say that the above is just another reason that guns honestly should be banned outside of military and hunting-related use.

Yeah, well, drugs are banned. Nobody can get them, 'cause they're illegal. Hmmm. Something wrong with that logic, I just can't put my finger on it.

Seriously, Rich - I don't want to turn this political - and the pro and anti gun thing is about as political as it gets. My point was and remains that running off at the mouth can get one killed, so it is probably best not to do it. That was the lesson I took away from the incident.

Best Regards,

Bill Mattocks

 

[Peter]

Somehow Bill's experience brought to my mind a Taoist quotation: 'The wise does not place himself in a dangerous situation'. Even if I am armed, I will not intentionally provoke others or escalate an already tense situation. When I was active in Kendo during college days, my teacher told us that top Samurais of medieval Japan will not draw their swords unnecessarily, they avoided bloodshed by avoiding confrontation or use less lethal techniques in a combat situation (street brawl).

 

[RML]

Guns, bats, knives... it doesn't really matter. The fact is that there are plenty of overly sensitive people out there who are willing to take deadly revenge for even the slightest of insults. I'm anti death penalty (no way back if there was a miscarriage of justice) but those morons hardly deserve anything better.

Like Nikon Bob said, I rather die of natural causes, and there have been situations that I refused to shoot off my mouth or be overly aggressive though I really felt like doing so. I guess that has saved my life a couple of times. One thing I keep in mind is to always ere on the sensible side when it comes to dealing with strangers.

 

[taffer]

Glad you and your wife are both OK Bill.

Peter, Samurais were wise people then. Think of animals, for example, even when two of them fight for something, they seldom do it to death, it's more of an 'intimidation' match and only has sense until one of them withdraws, no revenge. Fighting to death would benefit none of them, as it puts them in an unnecessary risk.

Animals learned the lesson, some humans didn't. Mother Nature tells us the truth 😀

 

[SolaresLarrave]

In Guatemala, where I'm from, guns are heavily regulated and not everyone can have one. However, they're easy to get and, if you're willing to go through the months it takes to get a permit, you can even carry them concealed.

Something one of these concealed gun carriers told me once stuck to my mind: "if you carry a gun, keep it hidden, because if you pull it out, you must use it."

I think Bill's point is related to this sentence; if you talk, you must be ready to face the consequences of your words.

Again, Bill, I'm glad I didn't read about YOU in the paper!

BTW, any good finds in the flea market? 🙂

 

[bmattock]

BTW, any good finds in the flea market? 🙂

My wife and I had gone there to drop off a couple of vintage wristwatches to a repairman that we found there who knows what he's doing. And there is an antique furniture dealer there as well that we've purchased some pieces from. But no, we didn't actually buy anything there.

Best Regards,

Bill Mattocks

 

[SolaresLarrave]

Not far from my town, in Sandwich IL, there's a reputable Antique Fair every month during Spring and Summer. The last time I went, I saw a bunch of cameras I had no idea about (back in my SLR shooter days) and of course I want to go back because the closer it gets to closing time, the lower the prices go, as most vendors want to unload stuff. There was a guy willing to sell me a Kodak camera for 10 bucks! I didn't even know what it was... and, as I said, back then I had no clue about rangefinders.

I just thought you were going there for a similar reason. 🙂

What kind of watches do you collect? I really like old, wind up watches. In fact I have a Bulova from the 40s, with a water damaged face, that may need a conscientious cleaning. I wore it for a few months and it seemed to revive with my body warmth!