Any advice for making this concept more effective?

Creagerj

Creagerj

Incidental Artist
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This is from a recent impromptu photo shoot with some thrift store-found props.

Technical info:
-Film: Ilford Delta 400 @ 3200; Microphen developer
-Lens: Ziess 85mm f/4 @f/5.6
-Lighting: Hot lights; one quartz monolight form the left and one 60w bulb to knock down shadows on the right side.

Vw5g6.jpg


XLsCo.jpg


IWKCw.jpg


I had some technical issues. Namely I'm not sure if it is from pushing the film or the fact that it has begun to fog from age (exp. in November, frozen until 6 months ago and refrigerated since then). I've never worked with this developer/film combo, so it doesn't have the level of contrast that I expected. Usually I work with HP5 and HC-110.

Everything seems somewhat flat and gray, but that could just be me.
 
Griffin said:
Well I'm a noob, but these are not so interesting. The last one is the best, but that shadow is distracting...
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Making this concept more interesting is where I'm hung up at. I feel like it has potential, but something, or several things are missing.
 
Should experiement with dramatic light. i think it's most effective (and a bit unsettling) when her eyes clearly are visible and illuminated. I would try a tripod to allow lower ISO, then a black or near black background. The hands also should be well defined.

Just thinking out loud here, mainly.
 
The framing seems a little tight and arbitrary; I think including more background and/or upper body could help this. Particularly in the second photo, her hands are like alien appendages reaching into the field of view. Was that on purpose?

Same for the last shot... I think including the elbows might help this. Also, in the 1st and 2nd shots, her eyes are dark. For someone in a mask, I'd say it's important to have the eyes properly lit.
 
VinceC said:
Should experiement with dramatic light. i think it's most effective (and a bit unsettling) when her eyes clearly are visible and illuminated. I would try a tripod to allow lower ISO, then a black or near black background. The hands also should be well defined.

Just thinking out loud here, mainly.
Click to expand...

I also agree about the black or near-black background. I was going to say that at first but stopped myself for some reason.
 
asfarley said:
The framing seems a little tight and arbitrary; I think including more background and/or upper body could help this. Particularly in the second photo, her hands are like alien appendages reaching into the field of view. Was that on purpose?

Same for the last shot... I think including the elbows might help this. Also, in the 1st and 2nd shots, her eyes are dark. For someone in a mask, I'd say it's important to have the eyes properly lit.
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Not so much. The tight framing is a result of the limitations of the lens I was using and the amount of space I had to work with (which wasn't much). I used a tele lens because I had just gotten it and needed a reason to use it.

On the other hand, I bet if I exaggerated how the hands come into the frame I could make them look like they were coming from another person.

I couldn't agree more about lighting the eyes. I tried but failed.

VinceC said:
Should experiement with dramatic light. i think it's most effective (and a bit unsettling) when her eyes clearly are visible and illuminated. I would try a tripod to allow lower ISO, then a black or near black background. The hands also should be well defined.

Just thinking out loud here, mainly.
Click to expand...

Black background is something I should have done and considered doing. I didn't for some reason.

Tripod and lower ISO both sound good to me. That will make the photos smoother and sharper. This was also a developer/film test. I was killing several birds with one stone to see if I liked what I got.

When you say dramatic light, do you mean from up high or perhaps down low? Also, how would you recommend lighting the eyes so they stand out.
 
Contrary to popular opinion here I think the only one that's kind of ok is the one where the eyes aren't visible. The other ones just look creepy (and I don't mean creepy in a good David Lynch kind of way).

Maybe the light would work a bit better if you placed it somewhat behind the model and only partially illuminated the side of the mask. But all in all, I'd say lose the mask. It's just not a good mask. Or at least paint over the hearts.
 
Maybe two lights -- a main light coming in from 3/4 and a highlight for the eyes, straight on, about 1 1/2 stops slower. Probably need to just practice around ,but I think it's more evocative with eyes looking right at you. Maybe try white gloves instead of black.

Actually, the final image in the series is very close, too. Back when I had a darkroom, I'd have tried dodging the eyes and some of the detail on the gloves, then done a deep burn on the background and shoulders.
 
It probably is less disturbing (and easier to light) with the eyes in shadow. That's how you usually see Venice masks.
 
Jamie123 said:
Contrary to popular opinion here I think the only one that's kind of ok is the one where the eyes aren't visible. The other ones just look creepy (and I don't mean creepy in a good David Lynch kind of way).

Maybe the light would work a bit better if you placed it somewhat behind the model and only partially illuminated the side of the mask. But all in all, I'd say lose the mask. It's just not a good mask. Or at least paint over the hearts.
Click to expand...

Thrift store find. Good advice.
 
What is the concept? Many of the technical issues raised may help, but I'm not sure that you know what your concept is - aside from model plus creepy mask.
 
I can evaluate the sad expression in the first picture and the happy expression in the second one... I know it's just happened but ths is the way to go. Make sure deliver different expression with lighting. Who said dramatic light? That is the way you go. If I were you I would try to shoot some light between her and the mask-it might sound weird... Also some flesh would help the clishe...
 
Yes..dramatic lighting. I would have her hair covering some of the mask so that the mask becomes part of her as opposed to her just wearing it. I prefer the eyes in shadow, more mystery.

I would try some more in portrait format and from back further so we can see more of her. Her posture will tell a lot of the story. Get some with her head tilted forward and hair covering her 'face'. Some with her head tilted backward and even some with hands around her throat, some wiping a tear from her eye (cliche, I know), even some pulling her own hair...experiment!

I'd have a much darker background.

Just my thoughts...
 
I'm not suggesting you plagerise the guy's work but have a look through Frank Petronio's stuff and note the way he uses situations and locations because that's what this needs.

So far all we have is a girl in a mask and gloves.
 
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