Very valid questions. Not really sure about the whole bokeh thing myself. The rendering of out-of-focus-areas fascinate me, but can you use it as a tool in the photographic toolbox, other than the obvious portrait situation where separating the person from whatever is not desirable in the background?
Now, I must admit I have actually deliberately gone out to shoot a lens to experiment or simply see how it draws OOF areas. I'm not sure if thats's a sign of sickness or my lackluster abilities as a photographer (or both)
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This is just a quick test shot on the way home from the photo store with a new lens. A 105mm F/2.0 lens wide open at ISO3200 on a evil DSLR shot on a cold November afternoon after sunset. I really like how the background is drawn and given the framing chosen it's an important, almost dominant part of the photo. Does it however make it a better photo? I think not, it's more of a technical demonstration.
Another shot, with the same lens, wide open. A relatively clean background not very challenging for any lens. Simple subject isolation due to focal length, aperture and distance to subject. Does it work? Well, the statue washing itself is placed in front of a public bath (note the word "bad" which is the Norwegian derivation of the English word, between the arm and body). It could very well be used for illustrative purposes for instance, and most viewers would likely grasp the rather simple meaning/point. It could however, have been shot with any cheap kit zoom
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Now, I do think it's possible to incorporate beautiful OOF rendring with good photos, but it is challenging and requires considerable thought on balancing the framing/composition. It's very easy to create a bokeh-gasm of an image whose qualities only other photographers will be able to recognize.
I think one to a certain extent, need to separate technical and nerdy fascination with optical phenomenons from actual image-making with a clear and decisive purpose. It's fine obsessing over tiny details and aspects if that what floats your boat, yet one probably benefit form the ability to understand when to separate the infatuation with technical aspects from practical photography, simply to get the job done. If course, if you're purely a hobbyist this isn't a problem at all.
Am I getting any wiser as to "what to do with the whole bokeh thing in my own photography"? Nah, I'm still learning but that's fun too
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Mac