Yeah, I don't shoot Ilford delta for the very reason you mention, I haven't tried FP4+ too much with model-shoots, but I though that film was rather "old-school".
Also, I think the light-type also plays a bit of a role (I may be wrong), be it sunshine, shadow or studio-flashes. (at least the color-temperature is different, so it may influence the final rendering, not sure).
Anyway, try Fomapan 100.
Bear in mind that I tend to shoot models that use a bit of lipstick, it's hard to make pale, pink lips to stand out with any film.
Fomapan 100, no filter:
This one used a bit less lipstick
TMax 100 ain't all that bad, but again, a bit of a color-dab goes a long way:
Tmax 100, no filter:
T-Max Fem-guard by
Ole-Henrik Helin, on Flickr
I have hoarded and frozen Neopan 400 because it tend to render red lips very nicely, like here:
Neopan 400, no filter
I feel Neopan 100 does a pretty good job, rendering paler lips with some color still, like here, where the model used very little makeup:
Neopan 100, no filter, studio-lights:
Acros portrait, printed on Ilford Multigrade IV by
Ole-Henrik Helin, on Flickr
If you want to go completely nuts with reds, then Rollei Ortho 25 is your best bet, reds will go black (I don't think this film can see red at all).
And it curls like a spring and can hardly even be scanned, but I love the results (in the right setting):
Rollei Ortho 25, studio-flashes, no filter.
Merry Rollei Christmas by
Ole-Henrik Helin, on Flickr
As for Kodak Tri-X and other films, like HP5, try a green-filter to get more definition in skin and darker lips, I use that with blonde and pale people with "very alabaster skin" and it works ok, nothing dramatic though, but more definition and none of that "IR-light" nonsense.
Red filters will make typical modern films look like infrared films even more, blue-filters will show way more blemishes in the skin and also often render the skin-tones way to dark. (try out a few filter-presets in IE lightroom on a color-portrait, to see the effect with various filters).
If you can, try to get the girl in question to put at least a little color on her lips, it will go a long way to avoid pale ones in the end-result.