Okay, I guess I'll try it first -- this is my first partcipation in a critique, so please forgive me if I'm a little rusty at this!
i) Lawrence's Shot: Nice sense of place here. I've been in bars like this, I have some idea of the people who hang out there too (though I could be wildly off here!), with the video gambling in the background, the Bud signs, Dale, etc. The light is great -- kinda seedy and just revealing enough to show you that this ain't no fern bar. Love the ductwork, the stacks of beer boxes, concrete (I'm assuming) floor -- they just have the bare minimum, don't they!
BTW, did you check the jukebox to see if they had 'Freebird'?
I like the way the fellow is racking up the balls -- he seems like he's doing it very carefully, making sure it's just 'so'. The woman is a nice touch, in a trashy sorta way.
If I could wish for anything in this shot, I would have loved to see a face, and probably hers looking at the guy or something. It almost seemed like you were afraid of getting caught taking the shot, hence shooting them when there wasn't the possibility of them seeing what you were doing. Getting closer is also a risk too, but hey, if they see you and you're just honest about what you're doing, they probably wouldn't care.
ii) Raid's Photo: Nice and interesting colour in this photo. Really gives that sense of a cosy friendly neighbourhood place at night. This place must be a bit more upscale than Lawrence's, 'cause they have that fancy pepper grinder and those carafes for all that wine they drink (no Bud here!). Plus, everything is in nice rows and in their proper place. Then you have some indication of people in the background -- as I say, a nice friendly place that I could see myself wanting to be in.
One of the issues I have with this shot (and it could be due to the shot being converted to a digital file and me viewing it on a screen) is that nothing appears in sharp focus, and as a result my eyes keep jumping around in the photo -- in other words, I want to grab onto something and I can't (mind you, that could say more about me than you). But, the fact that my eyes jump around allows me to create a story about this place (as described above), so that could be a good thing.
iii) Gabriel's Shot: Don't know what to say about this one. The lighting on the woman on the left is nice, but the whole shot appears to be blurry (here again, could be due to an analog shot converted to digital, then me looking at it on a computer screen, so forgive me if I'm wrong). Now blurry can be okay -- Lord knows I shoot enough of those -- but this blurry doesn't add anything to the shot, to me anyway. As well, the expressions on the faces of the two people are kind of non-moments, to me. If the woman on the left, for example, was expressing some kind of excitement or looked like she was screaming or some kind of emotion in reaction to what the woman on the right was saying, it would hold my attention more. But, she's just kinda listening and well, not a whole lot more. Here again, this could just be due to my personal biases, so I could be way off!
iv) Michael's Shot: Now this is a hip spot, judging by all the cool eyeglasses, ponytails, black shirts, etc. Sorta reminds me of those photos you see of the 'places to be' in Paris during the 1930's done by Kertesz or Brassai. Nice moment of the woman bending an ear to listen to the musician serenade her (holding her Gitannes just so!), and nobody but her. Here again however, I'm going to let my personal biases and tastes get in the way -- I want to see the two of them in sharp focus, and I don't want his head blown out on the side, 'cause that's where the action is. The guy behind the guitarist has more detail and sharpness and tonal detail, but the guitarist and the woman is where the main interaction in this photo is happening, and you're losing me with the side of his head blown out and them being blurry. Real nice sense of place though, and as you can see I'm able to construct a story out of this shot, and that's what it's all about, isn't it?
So, I hope that my ramblings have been somewhat helpful and constructive, as opposed to being unhelpful and destructive.