Critique of Sorts - Need help with set of photos for a fellowship application

[Gabriel M.A.]

Hi guys,

Alright, I need you to be honest, brutal, yet constructive. I have no experience on photography-related applications, and I have had a hard time narrowing down a congruent set of photos that allow me to show my range and skills.

The only guidelines, photowise, are that 12-15 shots be submitted electronically; apart from size constraints, that's it. It is for a Minnesota artist fellowship; you need to show that you're committed to the local art community, yet the panel is not local to Minnesota, so regional references are not exactly encouraged.

I've decided to stick to B&W as the main glue. I've tried arranging them in some sort of congruent fashion. I'm hoping that there are folks here in RFF that are in-the-know of these things, and also those who can provide constructive feedback.

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V1 Slideshow

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V2 Slideshow


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COLOR:

Here's a color one:

Version 3 (color)

V3 Slideshow


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Version 4

v4 Slideshow

(for a wee bit of info, click here)

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V5:

V5 Set
V5 set Slideshow

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V6:

V6 Set
V6 set Slideshow


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V7:

V7 Set
V7 set Slideshow


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V8:

V8 Set
V8 set Slideshow

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V9:

V9 Set
V9 set Slideshow

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Entirity of my Flickr stream


Thanks in advance.

 

[Sparrow]

First impressions, No1 is a belter, as you clearly know as you opened with it. Nos5 and 6 are too alike, I think you’re wasting a space there. The ones withe the strong and repetitive shapes stand out for me Nos 4, 11, 12, 13 stand out.

You had more of those in your Paris stuff, strong Gestalt images, it might be an idea to have more of a progression to lend a story of sort a “street to art” story? If were still allowed to mention art, I think it needs a theme to hang it on

PS that; for one
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gabrielma/140571197/in/set-72157594162314689/

 

[Gabriel M.A.]

First impressions, No1 is a belter, as you clearly know as you opened with it. Nos5 and 6 are too alike, I think you’re wasting a space there. The ones withe the strong and repetitive shapes stand out for me Nos 4, 11, 12, 13 stand out.

You had more of those in your Paris stuff, strong Gestalt images, it might be an idea to have more of a progression to lend a story of sort a “street to art” story? If were still allowed to mention art, I think it needs a theme to hang it on

PS that; for one
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gabrielma/140571197/in/set-72157594162314689/

Thanks, this is the sort of feedback I need. The way I see themes are very different from the norm, where I see various elements holding it together, but this is exactly what I need. I see it limiting to reduce photos to one single solid theme, I just have to let go of that.

Thanks, again.

 

[Gaspar]

They are all quality photos, however...

My favourite are the "women on the bridge with the extended hand and shadow" and "the orquestra"

The ones I liked least were 2 (the car) and 6 (the man in the caffe)

 

[Sparrow]

Thanks, this is the sort of feedback I need. The way I see themes are very different from the norm, where I see various elements holding it together, but this is exactly what I need. I see it limiting to reduce photos to one single solid theme, I just have to let go of that.

Thanks, again.

I wasn't thinking of a narrative. More a (sorry cliche) “mission statement”

I do super-realist to down’n dirty street

So you order them in the same way, No1 stays as is and say, Mosaic is last and you fit the rest into the space between in some sort of order, so your viewer is taken through is he would be in a book?

 

[emraphoto]

hi gabriel,

first let me start off with "i am saying everything i am going to say in order to help".

it the past 5 or so year so i have moved towards only shooting commissioned documentary work. i currently earn about 75% of my income from documentary work. it's not a lot of dough but i can raise kids and pay the mortgage.

i go through this process at least a dozen times a year, often more. the reason i am saying this is so you understand where i am coming from. i don't consider myself any better than the next guy but i am very, very committed and i know the grant process fairly well.

i believe you need to re-think most of those photographs. they are great, technically proficient photo's, no doubt about it. that being said they are missing a few very important elements. i don't know what fellowship or grant you are pursuing but i do know that most judging boards will be looking for ones "commitment to a project."

"is the photographer able to organize, pursue and finish a cohesive project?"

that is the singular most common thread i encounter when pursuing these things. that is the most common criterium. does your submission clearly demonstrate that? you must put that number one on your list.

in my honest opinion B+W is a thin cohesive focal point. that isn't to be mistaken with "don't enter B+W work".

if B+W work in the thread that binds then you must clearly demonstrate an exploration of the strengths (or weaknesses) of your choice of medium. how does B+W enable me (you) to explore ways of presenting my subject matter? does it lend well to shapes, emotions, texture depth? that sort of stuff. it also where you subject matter FOCUS will come to play. it will demonstrate that you are clearly exploring possibilities.

if you ask me, i would focus on frame 7. focus on a matter of the heart and explore the current state of affairs. the changing face of it. how it is relative today. ie: jazz. the photo is a glaring example of what YOU should be focused on. it speaks of the persuasive nature of music, it's ability to transcend time and the status quo and speak straight to peoples hearts. this photo is a very good example of what would work... a theme to explore. the B+W has a point. it lends a purpose and belongs beyond question.

(please keep in mind that is my OPINION and we all have one)

a few things to keep in mind.

1/ if this is your first "kick at the can" so to speak remember that grant and fellowship pursuit is a war of attrition. you will need to apply to 25-30 before you'll get any results and that's if you are good and super committed. even if you don't get a "hit" this time around you keep fine tuning the portfolio until it's right. it's never a "waste of time"... you are always building.

2/ identify a style. a way of seeing and explore it. stick to it. demonstrate that commitment to it. there will be lots and lots and lots of "good photographers". ones who understand DOF... law of thirds... selective focal points etc etc etc. you need to be way beyond that.

3/ explore who is curating/judging each and every one. do a little research and it will go a long way when face to face.

4/ focus on things that you really, deeply care about. it will clearly show in the work. larry towell and his ability to submit "family photo's" on his magnum app. is a very good example.

please remember that i am not trying to be critical for "critical" sake. i am almost always working on one of these myself and really want to help.

good luck!

 

[emraphoto]

honestly i think 25-30 is quite optimistic... i don't want to come off too negative.

 

[ferider]

Gabriel, you are one of the best env portraitists I know or have seen photos of. Including color.

Hint, hint.

Cheers & good luck,

Roland.

 

[Gabriel M.A.]

I've created this new ("v2") set. I need to trim 2-5 shots (the limit is 12-15); all B&W (I'll normalize the tone for the submission)

Version 2

Version 2 Slideshow

I know the last two are dissonant. But can't seem to let them go. ::help::


I'll try a color-only, and then a half-and-half set soon...

 

[monochromejrnl]

Gabriel - I don't have much to add to what others have offered above, but I applaud you for seeking neutral advice on a public forum. It takes guts to put yourself and a body of work out there for critique.

I believe that by doing so you will benefit by going through this process, regardless of whether or not you're succesful with your grant application.

My two cents echo what has been offered above, each on their own, many of your photos are technically and compositionally very strong, but taken as a whole set they lack cohesiveness. Best of luck in your endeavours and please keep us updated on your efforts.

Cheers,
Ken

 

[emraphoto]

you had me for the first two frames... really had me.

i'd run with that "theme"... i know you have more over there on flickr.

i second what fred has to say...

 

[Gabriel M.A.]

Gabriel, you are one of the best env portraitists I know or have seen photos of. Including color.

Hint, hint.

You are very kind. Thank you.


Here's a color one:

Version 3 (color)

V3 Slideshow


This was far far far far easier to put together. The theme should be easy to guess; I'm not sure about the last one, but I believe it fits into the main theme I had in mind: Americans.

It's a mix of Kodachrome 64, color film and digital. (Leica M6, M8, and Canon 20D, for the curious)

 

[Gabriel M.A.]

you had me for the first two frames... really had me.

i'd run with that "theme"... i know you have more over there on flickr.

i second what fred has to say...

You mean for the second set? Only the two photos? Then it just fizzles...?

 

[Gabriel M.A.]

Now for a "controversial" one: these are all B&W shots from something called "Procesión del Silencio"; in English-speaking countries, this would evoke the KKK (and hence my second-thoughts).

This is a centuries-old religious tradition that takes place in Spain, Mexico and other former Spanish colonies; the main purpose, originally, was that of penance, atonement by means of walking through the Via Crucis. It is thought of as a deep display of both faith and repentance.

This is ripe for a major culture shock.


Version 4

v4 Slideshow

 

[emraphoto]

i would be proud to submit vs 4 with the final frame being the "money shot".

vs 4 is by and large the best. it is important to remember (and i don't want to sound like yoda or nothing) "culture shock" is good. the work needs to elicit a feeling, a response.

you're right... there is a "uneasy" feeling with those photo's. specifically with north americas version of those outfits. the largely "atmospheric" contributes to it... ghosts of our conscience so to speak.

those are the photo's i would be looking long and hard at.

 

[35mmdelux]

I see alot of great fotos but no theme. For example, your cathedral shot is great, then a few pix later its the kid with the cow, then its the spice girl going up the modern staircase. How does this connect? I don't think it does. Look at it themeatically.

 

[Pablito]

Now for a "controversial" one: these are all B&W shots from something called "Procesión del Silencio"; in English-speaking countries, this would evoke the KKK (and hence my second-thoughts).

This is a centuries-old religious tradition that takes place in Spain, Mexico and other former Spanish colonies; the main purpose, originally, was that of penance, atonement by means of walking through the Via Crucis. It is thought of as a deep display of both faith and repentance.

This is ripe for a major culture shock.


Version 4

v4 Slideshow

Gabriel,
I think v4 is the strongest by far because it's the most cohesive. I have served on many of these juries and also written quite a few successful applications for grants/commissions etc over the years. What the jury will look for is a cohesive view and a real engagement with your subject matter. Of all your slideshows, I think v4 comes the closest to accomplishing that. It also seems like the most personal. But you also need to weed out a few of the images that don't hold up graphically. Another thing you have not mentioned is whether you can include an essay or an artist's statement. if so, you should take advantage of that. You don't need to "explain" the photos so much as contextualize them. Best of luck!

 

[Melvin]

Here's my two cents: your best photos are all portraits of beautiful women. I've enjoyed seeing them here, but I don't see them in these slide shows. It's as though you are purposefully excluding your best work in favor of pseudo-national geographic stuff that looks like it was taken from the sidelines of a public event(a dance, a procession), really touristy stuff. Where are the coffee shop girls?

 

[Sparrow]

To some extent I have to agree with Melvin anyone looking at your flickr stream will see a photographer with a much stronger sense of timing and composition than is demonstrated by v.4.

The images themselves while a unified set are unified mainly by two things;

Firstly, many have a depressive line as a feature of their composition (the image is accessed by the eye top-left to bottom right) Nos1,2,7,10,12

Secondly, even for a European I find the Clan? Klan? Imagery gets in the way, despite knowing what I’m seeing my gut wins out over my head, so whatever I think of the pictures is spoiled by the whiff of race.

With due respect to those who do make grant applications, I’ve always been commercial so it’s not something I’ve had to do, I would suggest that they don’t fit the mood of the times for me anyway.

 

[yanidel]

Very interesting thread, some good tips in there.

Personnally I find v3 to be superior by far as it is :
- cohesive (except for picture #1)
- wonderful colors that match the subject
- the blurs and perspective do convery a feeling of "trans"
- original, I have never seen this subject treated this way.

I also find that the B&W series of Paris has no really link between pictures.
As for the Spanish procession, I would have liked you to be more involved in the subject. The pictures (though some are beautiful) convery too much the impression that you stood and watched it pass by. Maybe it is the European influence as we see much more reportage on the processions here than indians 😉.
Hope it helps, great initiative to ask for constructive critique!