Critiques please bus-stop scene

[bene]

L1002074.jpg by bene123, on Flickr

 

[FrankS]

This is just my opinion:

Not a successful image. No clear message: on the one hand most of the individuals are isolated doing their own thing even though they are physically together. Going against this theme however is the smiling lady who does show an attachment to someone or something outside the frame. Visually, the strip of background across the top edge is a distracting element, as is the man partially overlapped by the smiling woman's head.

If YOU like it however then it doesn't mattter much what anyone else thinks.

 

[jja]

Agree w/ Frank. Compositionally, the focus point is on the grass, and the photo is overall too dark (points of possible interest). If the photo figures went into full silhouette, that might work better, but ultimately the problem is that there's nothing very interesting going on here.

 

[anitasanger]

I really like it! I think that the isolation and or contemplative state that the central woman is in makes the photo interesting. my eye was instantly drawn to her. Nice job!

 

[Pickett Wilson]

Well, I had to post my edit of your photo. I think there is a photo in the darkness. 🙂

 

[MickH]

Dodge 'n' burn. Bring out the girl in the middle and it'll look loads better.

Cheers.

 

[gonzo74]

actually, i like the darker original but my eye notices the little boy sitting on the rail, looks as if he's thinking about something; otherwise what franks said, particularly the part about you liking it 🙂

 

[brainwood]

I like Picket Wilson's adjustment . I would be tempted to crop out the woman on the left so you concentrate on the relationship between the three sanding figures and two seated. The resulting square frame might work better ?

 

[segedi]

Less is often more and there is too much going on in the image. A longer focal length and you can pick out the girl a bit more. Visually, she's the most interesting thing going, with the pattern of her clothing and how the stripes near the bottom of her skirt mirror the stripes on the shirt behind her.
Keep shootin'!

 

[bene]

Thanks for all the opinion.I find that frank's suggestion very useful.

I just felt it was a "pretty" picture with all the different people in different shapes feelings or lack of. body language.

It not very sucessful but it has something! thanks for the feedback Hope you guys will comment on my other pictures in the future!

Regarding the light and dark I prefer my own version. as there is a movement of dark to light. but due to different screens the details get lost. I was aiming for just enough details in the dark =P

 

[retnull]

By normal RFF standards, it's not "successful". It is too dark, and not gracefully composed.

HOWEVER I like it, the disconnection between individuals is clear -- presumably it's the point of the image. Somehow it reminds me of this famous painting by Balthus

 

[Doug]

I like Pickett Wilson's edit, and if the central woman doesn't catch your eye right away, that may just add to the impact when she does. I see the theme as "alone in a crowd", and for that to work, it needs to be rather busy with that surrounding crowd all doing their own things. IMHO of course. I like it.

 

[sepiareverb]

The Out of Focus woman in the foreground is way too distracting. Unless this tension is what you were after I'd toss it in the bin. You missed the focus. At f1.4, focussed on the guy looking at you or the seated girl maybe.

 

[jky]

Move in on the kid on the rails or the woman sitting down - otherwise there is not much else that's working.
Not that you need a "hey look at me" kind of a gesture/action/emotion per se, but the arrangement of all the people in the frame doesn't work either.

 

[Keith]

OK ... for something completely different I'd crop the image partially removing the influence of the background and other subjects who, while still doing their own thing, no longer dominate the scene and the attention is now placed on the pensive girl.

 

[flip]

I like Picket Wilson's adjustment . I would be tempted to crop out the woman on the left so you concentrate on the relationship between the three sanding figures and two seated. The resulting square frame might work better ?

+i agree with this