FED 8 Problems - FED Responds

[lushd]

Comrades - FED Responds - Our engineers have become aware that the FED 8 suffers from some technical problems that are not consistent with the standards of the legendary FED brand. We have discussed this at length with the NKVD and we are now certain we have identified a definitive solution.

We have collected all our customers in a nice black van and hung them upside down by their feet from some trees. They now unanimously report 100% percent satisfaction with the product. In a sense of Comradely solidarity we have not charged them for this service.

If any other customers have complaints about any FED products or aspects of life in the Union they should just mention it to a friend or member of their family. Our hidden microphones will immediately pick up your concerns and a customer care squad will be round straight away.

PS How would you feel about a version in green? Or blue?

 

[rxmd]

Well done! None of the empty communiqués of the decrepit Western scum, instead some solid hands-on approach to the problem. Now that's the FED I know! True to their NKVD roots!

Philipp

PS: Proletarian red will do for me, thanks.

 

[Jocko]

Glory to our Soviet Motherland! Another bumper harvest of bourgeois errors laid low by the sickle of Dialectical Materialism wielded in the hands of the Working Class!

Comrades, We have nothing to envy in the world!

Ian!

 

[JonP]

If that is the usual shooting position, surely the IR filter will not be required, another Western misunderstanding of superior Soviet engineering

 

[Toby]

Comrades, I think most of the problems with the fed 8 can be solved easily by going into cccp jpeg mode. Just look at the way this photo has captured my wife's lovely curly hair.

attachment__________________________________________________

0000
000 o o 000
000 v 000
00 ___ 00

---​

l _________

​

______________________________________________

 

[raftman]

Yay for having lots of growing up to do!

 

[lushd]

Comrades, I think most of the problems with the fed 8 can be solved easily by going into cccp jpeg mode. Just look at the way this photo has captured my wife's lovely curly hair.

attachment__________________________________________________

0000
000 o o 000
000 v 000
00 ___ 00

---​

l _________

​

______________________________________________

Exquisite - really has that Zorki glow that we all aspire to.

 

[Screwy]

attachment__________________________________________________

0000
000 o o 000
000 v 000
00 ___ 00

---​

l _________

​

______________________________________________

At the risk of offending but is it my monitor or does that look a touch grainy ? ?

 

[darkkavenger]

Is there an IR filter for my M-Sovietar 35mm lens (Kiev mount) ?
I report banding on my Kiev-4A when using the digital back, though i've never had problems with the polaroid back.

 

[lushd]

Is there an IR filter for my M-Sovietar 35mm lens (Kiev mount) ?
I report banding on my Kiev-4A when using the digital back, though i've never had problems with the polaroid back.

The Director of FED Consumer care department responds - Comrade, the desire for such devices reflects false consciousness engendered by capitalistic propaganda. If you will please report to headquarters by 6 a.m. tomorrow my team of dedicated staff will remove your blinkers and you will see the perfection inherent in the products of the socialist system for yourself.

 

[lushd]

Comrades - I am proud to report that following the success of the FED 8 the FED factory is improving on the idea of the Apple Store. From December a chain of FED Shops will open across the world bringing new concepts in customer care to the decadent West. A picture of the first FED store is attached.

You are invited to submit a 50 word statement outlining your sales pitch for the FED 8 and any other delicious eastern optical products. The top ten statements will win a liftime of guaranteed emplyment at the USSR minimum wage and holiday in Siberia.

Scribble away!

 

[reagan]

Okay, here's my sales pitch.

"I like to take pitchers. So I became a fotogerfer. I have waited a loang time before switching to digikal fotogerfy, but now my dweam kammer is own it's way... the FuD.8. I know it will take pertty pitchers, cuz digikal is like the best. Thank you."

 

[reagan]

"P.S. ~ Pleaz let me wurk in yur store. Thank you."

 

[lushd]

Congratulations Comrade - you have just been appointed Director.