Intentionally Poor Camera Design

unixrevolution

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My friend and I spent some time discussing cameras at work, and one of the things we hit upon that intrigued us was the following idea:

Design a camera that, if used properly, can take very good photos, and is not mechanically unreliable or of questionable build quality, but which IS extremely difficult or aggrivating to use, and as inconvenient as possible.

To that end, I humbly submit the following design:





Basic design:
35mm manual mechanical scale-focus camera, with external rangefinder and integrated uncoupled light meter.
Film advance, shutter cocking, and shutter actuation through single crank, positioned on top right of camera body. At rest, crank is parallel with camera body, hanging off right-hand side.
Aperture control:
Single plunger cycles diaphragm blades in lens from US.25 to US64, incrementing by exactly 1 when current setting is at least 1.
Current-setting readout situated on the front of the camera, just to the right of the lens.
Plunger situated on the front of the camera, on the top right-hand side.
Shutter speed control:
Single plunger cycles focal-plane shutter through speeds 1/2000 to 4s in 1/3 stop increments.
Bulb achieved by holding shutter-speed plunger, then firing, and releasing shutter-speed plunger when exposure is done.
Unlabeled. Current shutter-speed setting is not displayed anywhere. When the plunger is released and the current shutter speed is equal to the sync speed, a bell will ring.
Situated on the front of the camera, immediately below the aperture-control plunger.
Shutter:
Twin-curtain solid steel focal-plane shutter, 1/2000 to 4s and bulb, sync 1/30th.
Lens:
90mm F1.9 uncoated lens with spherical elements, fixed to camera; no provision for lens hoods or filters.
Proprietary auxiliary lenses attach via four lugs on camera body.
Focus scale from 5 feet to infinity, in feet.
Situated on the front of the camera, centered, in the usual manner.
Viewfinder:
Straight optical bright-line finder, whole window showing approximately 75mm field of view, lines showing approximately 105mm field of view.
Detachable with included proprietary tool.
Situated on top of the camera, approximately 1/3 of the way over from the left-hand side.
Rangefinder:
Uncoupled coincidence rangefinder, mounted vertically on top of camera body, slightly to the right of the axis of the lens.
Detachable with included proprietary tool.
Shows focus from 1 m to infinity, in meters.
User manual includes a pull-out leaflet with meters-to-paces conversion chart on one side and paces-to-feet conversion chart on the other side. One pace is defined as the average stride length of an average-height male at normal walking speed.
Self-timer:
Separate mechanical-wind self-timer.
Interfaces through wind/fire crank through large sprocket, interlocking to gear teeth on both wind lever and self-timer knob.
Operation is as follows:
With viewfinder and rangefinder detached, wind self-timer knob.
Holding knob at full wind, place sprocket on spindle between self-timer knob and wind lever.
Release self-timer knob.
Depending on friction of film, shutter will release in 8 to 12 seconds.
Film loading:
Remove bottom of camera.
Insert leader of 35mm film cassette into takeup spool.
Insert cassette and takeup spool in camera, making sure to thread film into film slot at back of camera.
Reattach camera bottom.
Rewind mechanism:
Detach proprietary rewind crank from front of camera.
Remove rewind plug from bottom of camera, using proprietary tool.
Insert end of rewind crank into cassette and rewind film using crank, while depressing rewind button half-recessed into bottom of camera.
Detach bottom of camera and remove film.
Flash:
Slightly off-center cold shoe on bottom of camera, with flash connected to PC sync socket centered on top of camera.
Flash sync speed: 1/30 second.
Light meter:
Battery-powered (2 x CR2 Lithium cell), attached uncoupled light meter, approximate field of view of 50mm lens.
Situated on left side of camera, with sensor pointing downwards.
Activated by pressing button on back of meter. Releasing button does not reset reading; gauge displays most recent reading at all times.
Reads light from 0 to 21 EV; gives no provision for translating EV into shutter-speed, aperture or ISO values.
User manual includes chart translating EV to shutter speed and aperture combinations at ISO 160.
This camera is recommended for use with Kodak Portra 160 Vivid Color film.
Includes incident-light attachment and dust cover.
Tripod socket:
Standard 1/4 20 tripod socket, situated in cold shoe.So, who wants one? And who has a name for it? 🙂
 
You've never used a Voigtlander Prominent, have you.

Film advance also cocks Shutter, but if you use the 1/500th setting- manually cock the shutter before advancing film.

Or Else.
 
You've never used a Voigtlander Prominent, have you.

Film advance also cocks Shutter, but if you use the 1/500th setting- manually cock the shutter before advancing film.

Or Else.

With a Prominent, you need to have good eye care insurance since getting a finger into one of your eyes is bound to happen on day the way focusing is done with this camera:bang: The designers of this camera may have held some stocks in the eye care insurance?
 
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