Lost my job...now what?

[don sorsa]

Bad luck is seldom expected and we cannot lives our lives in fear of what might happen. First, remember that you aren't alone: everyone has had bad luck, and nobody deserves it - it is an inevitable part of the human condition; you also have a family and friends so don't hesitate to ask for support because you can get (and make) the support you need. Second, don't blame yourself or start second-guessing or going through "I shoulda" scenarios. Reflection is usually a good thing but self-doubt interferes with planning and moving forward. Third, give yourself some time and space to "grieve" and think and be pissed off. When people are dealt physical blows, like in a car accident, we expect their bodies to take time to heal and we don't mind if they get mad at the other driver. Well, you were just dealt a psychological and financial blow; time and effort are needed to recover.

OK, sorry for going on so long. Take care of yourself.
Don

 

[rbiemer]

As has been said do your best to keep your spirits up. You have major assets in your family and skills. Any particular job is just that--a job. It is hard in the US to not let what you do define who you are but I think worth the effort.
Great idea to take dad on the trip!
You may well find that you have skills you didn't consider before.
Good thoughts and prayers for you and yours!
Rob

 

[Kris]

Sorry to hear your troubles Bill. I guess Murphy's law is true. I'm not much of a religious person but I hope things are looking up.

 

[pukupi]

wblanchard,

I'm also a web developer and several years ago I lost my main client and primary source of income when they were taken over by a larger company with an internal web team. The timing was terrible as I was not long married and we had just bought an apartment.

It was a terrible, stressful time with the financial situation getting so bad I felt I had no choice but to pack up and leave Japan. Literally the day before I was going to book our tickets back to New Zealand, I got a call from an old friend I used to work with about a large web project I might be interested in. This project lead to much greater things and eventually to the great job I have now but none of this would have happened if I hadn't first lost that client as I would not of had the time to take on any new large projects.

I look back on this time as a life changing event for the better and I hope very soon you will too.

 

[back alley]

i can't add much.
i feel for ya having been in that situation myself. it almost did me in.
my profession is one that is not overly appreciated by those that determine the pay scales.
i live mostly check to check and find it hard to stash much away. feeding my self, the dog and my cameras takes a full time job.
i was out of work for almost a year after about 19 years of steady (but contract) employment. i never had a problem getting work as i enjoy a pretty good reputation in the community. but after one contract ended i couldn't even buy an interview.
i did all the right things to keep myself 'up' and made it my job to look for a job. but after the weeks turned to months and then more months i started to slide and almost gave up hope.
then suddenly, i got a bunch of interviews and several job offers at once. it was like old times.
anyway, things happen for a reason and they usually work out.
keep your spirits up, keep your wife involved in what you do and how you feel, that's key.
and if you ever feel like chatting...

joe

 

[DougK]

I've been in your shoes a couple of times, so I definitely understand what you're going through (I work in the IT field as well, technical support stuff). When it happened to me the last time in early 2003, I gave myself the first month as the vacation I'd never been able to take at that employer. This turned out to be a really smart move as I was able to relax, unwind, and then move forward into the job search having had a chance to get over the bitterness, etc from the layoff. Much easier to impress an employer when you aren't dragging all that stuff into the interview with you. I won't lie and say it was easy, but ultimately I wound up in a much better work/life balance situation. Best wishes to you and good luck in your quest!

 

[digitalox]

Hang in there man. The IT field is really picking back up, you should be able to put those web skills to use. Good luck!

 

[RubenBlaedel]

Sometimes even the worst situations seem to turn a rock in your life - so hang in there - believe in your self and do not let anyone put you down while searching for a way of supporting your self - hold on to your family and do not let the fact that your wife is now the main financial support do anything to your self asteem - be proud of her, charish her efforts and keep us posted how things turns out - Ruben
(hope this makes sense - English is not my first nor my second language)