My Wife Doesn’t Understand Film (Me)

[btgc]

Developing film has nothing to do with photography. Or has more than one not doing it can imagine? In any case, any wife or GF should be happy because man has a hobby. While one has a hobby, she can be sure, more or less.

Good point on dissatisfaction as indicator of progress, though.

Practical side would be to give her simple camera loaded with film and after week discuss shots of both of you - why I took this, why I framed it such way. She'll learn you, you - her, time spent together, she'll become warmer to film and money NOT spent on DSLR can be invested in travel, maybe.
Mornings are good to write simple about complex issues 🙂

 

[MRohlfing]

She thinks I should toss most of what I have and buy a new DSLR. She “authorized the expense” even.😀

Buy a Nikon F6 with that gorgeous display in the back and tell her it's digital!😀

 

[Ronald_H]

Welll, I photograph a lot of young women (a lousy job, but somebody has got to do it). I am by no means brilliant, but they usually love the way I depict them, as evidenced by prints on their parent's walls, in their mobiles phones, agendas and on their Myspace pages. They are even willing to look at my 'boring' stuff, old planes, trains and automobiles. Have you ever thought of involving her into photography? It is rumoured that besides looking good in front of the camera, women can do quite well behind it too.

I own a lot of analogue gear (but it's so very cheap these days) and also a Nikon D200 with a closet full of lenses. A D700 will follow soon. But, you guessed it, I am single. I could never live with a woman who did not understand, or at least respect why I am going back to film and indeed home development. It's just that I done it all in several aspects of photography and I need something different, a new look, a new challenge. But maybe that's the reason that I still am single 😉

 

[feenej]

My wife was looking thru my iPhoto gallery on my computer and said, "Why is this f'ing thing full of people I don't f'ing know?" The only pics of mine she likes are the scenery shots I take to please other people, or my grad portraits, photos of the kids, etc.

I could care less. One thing about it is that when you get a compliment from somebody like that, you know that it is probably sincere.

 

[M. Valdemar]

In the ancient days before I got married, I shot for dozens of girly magazines.

I used to bring attractive girls home all the time to "shoot" them.

That won't fly now.

 

[Michael I.]

The girl I date(and the one before that,whom I lived with for a year) love my photography.

The one I lived with asked,when I wanted a piece of equipment
1"Will it help your photography?"
2"Is it within budget?"
3"Do you really want it?"

If all three were yes I got a green light.

LP's she used to buy for me.

 

[jmkelly]

My wife is a better photographer than I am, but photography and especially gear collecting are not hobbies for her. She's more into gardening. Sometimes she will watch me having a gleeful moment with one of my pursuits and say she wished she had a similar hobby. She likes my photos and has framed and hung many. I'm lucky.

But then over the course of 25 years together, photography and collecting are not the most expensive or time consumming of the pursuits I have engaged in.

Steve, you should find and restore an old car - I recommend something like a Lotus Elan, or maybe an Elite. Once you take out a second mortgage and cry tears of blood in frustration for a couple of years, your wife will gain a new perspective on film photography.

 

[NathanJD]

1"Will it help your photography?"
2"Is it within budget?"
3"Do you really want it?"

That's the very same 3 questions I get asked when I enthusiastically wave the laptop at my partner, exclaiming that I 'need' one of those, and as we live together and every penny counts it's a very valid set of questions... funny how I don't ask a similar set when she takes me to a dog shelter for example... 🙄

 

[dazedgonebye]

I don’t actually think it’s reasonable to expect validation of my every creative effort from my wife…or any other source really. I mean, I’ve seen some wacky stuff out there called “art” and I can’t imagine telling my spouse, “Oh yea baby, that’s an incredible sculpture. Toilet paper and bird’s nests? Really?”
Fact is, I didn’t marry an artist or even a creative thinker. I dated a lot of those types and those relationships were sweet, hot and short. Going from one of those to the next is very addicting. In the end though, I married a practical, stubborn, strong woman who would never stop being my wife and my kids’ mother.
If you chose someone to keep you grounded, you can’t reasonably expect them to come along on your flights of fancy.

 

[shimo-kitasnap]

anyone ever see that t-shirt by bustedtees.com that has an image of the bride and groom cutting the cake and underneath it says "Big Mistake?"

Or how about that movie with Nicholas Cage, "Family Man" where one day you're a single successfully business man in NYC and the next morning you wake with a wife and little kids somewhere in the middle of Jersey? I thought I was pretty funny.

 

[harmsr]

Hey Steve,

I went through the same thing. Complaining too much and actually loosing some of the enjoyment itself. I did end up changing some gear, to see if that helped. First the DSLR route which drove a different style of photography. That really didn't work for me.

Next I actually got into doing product shots, fashion, and races (garage & driver stills vs. telephoto track stuff). This actually brought back the enjoyment and creativity.

It also made me pick up my film camera again, shooting B&W, and just shoot for my enjoyment. SUCCESS!!!!

My camera line-up has changed significantly because of this. I still have the M8 but with only a few lenses and an M7. However, must of my stuff is done now with Profoto strobes and an H3DII39.

Your wife may not be into your photography, but I'm betting that she is into your happiness. Regardless of your gear, either film, digital, rangefinder, DSLR, MF, try shooting a different style of photography to get the creative juices flowing. Remember, your photography is for your enjoyment. SO ENJOY IT!!! Try something new again.

Best,

Ray

PS.: We should try to get everyone together again soon.

 

[M. Valdemar]

The last thing I want to do is discuss business or hobbies with a woman.

I also don't get this "permission" from the wife or girlfriend to buy something.

 

[dazedgonebye]

The last thing I want to do is discuss business or hobbies with a woman.

I also don't get this "permission" from the wife or girlfriend to buy something.

I guess the concept is that if you're married, the money belongs to both of you. You may not need "permission," but some idea of consensus on how money is to be spent is a good idea.
Unless you're just the king dink in charge at your house, in which case, do as you please.

 

[Mael]

My wife is frustrated with me.

Find another wife !

 

[willie_901]

This thread is simply bizarre.

 

[M. Valdemar]

I'm the "king dink".

I guess the concept is that if you're married, the money belongs to both of you. You may not need "permission," but some idea of consensus on how money is to be spent is a good idea.
Unless you're just the king dink in charge at your house, in which case, do as you please.

 

[kuzano]

Sticker on my motorcycle helmet.....

Sticker on my motorcycle helmet.....

If it has tits or wheels, it's going to be trouble.

Switch to digital for one year. After hearing your grousing on digital for a year, she will beg and plead for you to dig out your film and film camera's.

Also, I read your post with rapt attention, having at one time believed that I could (should) have a woman in my life. I did not see any gripes that your wife proffers that you did not initiate with your dissatisfaction in your hobby. In fact, you worsened it by stating that it finally got to the point where the only thing you offered in communication to her were your frustrations.

Wow, turn that around and see if you would put up with what you're saying you dish out.

I have to believe you are "tongue in cheek" on most of your post, or just incredibly lucky that she still lives in the same house you do... or not.

I hope you're pulling our leg a bit.

Oh Yes, and I forgot my ex-wife's favorite shirt saying. On the back it says, "You Say Bitch Like It's a Bad Thing"

 

[M. Valdemar]

If it has tits or wheels, it's going to be trouble.

Switch to digital for one year. After hearing your grousing on digital for a year, she will beg and plead for you to dig out your film and film camera's.

If I started talking to my wife about the debate between digital and film, she would look at me cross-eyed and think I'd gone insane.

This is something 50+ year old doofuses rave on about on online forums, not something that a sane man would discuss with his wife.

I think the whole "mutual interest" thing in man/woman relationships is overrated.

Men and women have completely different thought processes, have totally different interests, and the things they talk about should be for mutual pleasure. Having a wife who wants to talk about the "digital/analog" debate is probably one of one's worst nightmares. Men and women are wired differently.

She feels I'm insane for my huge collection of "dirty old cameras" and if I just had a nice modern point and shoot digital she would be very happy.

I don't discuss fashion or makeup with her either, and she doesn't expect me to.

 

[micromontenegro]

Very bizarre.

My two cents: I seem to be lucky. My wife "connects" quite a bit with my hobbies (well, maybe except guns). In fact, she has talked me into spending too much in cameras, old car and dog stuff. A good state of affairs, if you ask me, but probably not essential for happiness

 

[dazedgonebye]

If it has tits or wheels, it's going to be trouble.

Switch to digital for one year. After hearing your grousing on digital for a year, she will beg and plead for you to dig out your film and film camera's.

Also, I read your post with rapt attention, having at one time believed that I could (should) have a woman in my life. I did not see any gripes that your wife proffers that you did not initiate with your dissatisfaction in your hobby. In fact, you worsened it by stating that it finally got to the point where the only thing you offered in communication to her were your frustrations.

Wow, turn that around and see if you would put up with what you're saying you dish out.

I have to believe you are "tongue in cheek" on most of your post, or just incredibly lucky that she still lives in the same house you do... or not.

I hope you're pulling our leg a bit.

Oh Yes, and I forgot my ex-wife's favorite shirt saying. On the back it says, "You Say Bitch Like It's a Bad Thing"

In my own defence, I can only say that she drove me to it. After years of showing her work I was proud of, only to be met with indifference and the statement that "photography isn't art," I'm left with nothing but grumbling.