My Wife Doesn’t Understand Film (Me)

Having been married for 14 years, what I find works for me is if you look for a way to combine your intrest with something she likes. For example, my wife loves to go on road trips and weekend gettaways. What better way to enjoy those weekend gettaways than with a very cool camera to record every bit of fun? Of course, each location calls for a different camera/lens combo...
 
You don't need to give me an answer, but why haven't you hung any prints in your house? If it's because of her, you should hang a few of your favorites immediately. That's the least she can do.

It sounds like the "photography isn't art" comment really bothered you, as it would me. I don't consider myself a fine art photographer, but photography is a form of expression for most of us, and that alone makes it art IMO. For her to say it's not shows that she hasn't put much thought into what you do. She doesn't have to like your photos, but she has to respect your passion for photography. If you haven't already, I suggest you have a serious talk with her about this whole thing. Not to be dramatic, but people have gone to counseling for stuff like this, so I wouldn't downplay it's importance.

I can sympathize with your situation, although it sounds like my girlfriend is a little more supportive than your wife. She loves the photos I take of her cat, and since my money is not her money, she will always encourage me to buy something I want to buy. But often times when I hand her a print she'll say, "oh cool" and hand it right back with out taking more than a second to actually look at it. That bugs me, but I can usually let it go, because it's just not her thing. Where I run into trouble is when I want to spend an evening developing and scanning and she wants me to sit still, on the sofa, watching crappy TV. My biggest beef about this situation is that she has nothing she likes to do as much as I enjoy photography. But as long as she is supportive, I can't really complain.

Paul
 
photophorous said:
You don't need to give me an answer, but why haven't you hung any prints in your house? If it's because of her, you should hang a few of your favorites immediately. That's the least she can do.

It sounds like the "photography isn't art" comment really bothered you, as it would me. I don't consider myself a fine art photographer, but photography is a form of expression for most of us, and that alone makes it art IMO. For her to say it's not shows that she hasn't put much thought into what you do. She doesn't have to like your photos, but she has to respect your passion for photography. If you haven't already, I suggest you have a serious talk with her about this whole thing. Not to be dramatic, but people have gone to counseling for stuff like this, so I wouldn't downplay it's importance.

I can sympathize with your situation, although it sounds like my girlfriend is a little more supportive than your wife. She loves the photos I take of her cat, and since my money is not her money, she will always encourage me to buy something I want to buy. But often times when I hand her a print she'll say, "oh cool" and hand it right back with out taking more than a second to actually look at it. That bugs me, but I can usually let it go, because it's just not her thing. Where I run into trouble is when I want to spend an evening developing and scanning and she wants me to sit still, on the sofa, watching crappy TV. My biggest beef about this situation is that she has nothing she likes to do as much as I enjoy photography. But as long as she is supportive, I can't really complain.

Paul
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I've got a couple of pic of my boys on the wall, that makes the cut, but nothing else.
I like to think that a small part of my stuff might be considered art. That statement from her was a wake-up. She's hardly the only one to feel that way, but her going out of her way to say it to me told me that she either was unaware of how much it means to me, or indifferent to my feelings on the matter.
I get the same thing on the TV. We have one in the bedroom and she'd like me to hang out there and watch bad TV till she falls asleep (I often do just that). From my perspective, the bedroom is one place where no TV belongs. It interferes with the three marital activities that should be happening in the bedroom.
Sleep, communication, and that other thing I keep hearing about.
 
Remember that this is not a strictly logical decision. It's a bit more like a love affair. I started my love affair with film in 1966 and it would be hard to give up. Tell your wife to quit worrying about doing the "right" thing and do the loving thing and let you enjoy photography the way you want to. If you're not chasing other women and drinking then where's the problem?
Joe
 
Thanks Fred, and you know what? That's why I post here and on some other forums. I get feedback and praise for my good stuff. And, even though a completely healthy, self-assured person would be satisfied without that sort of thing, I still need it.

Pixtu,
This is my second and last marriage. Two is enough for anyone.

pesphoto,
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
 
Why do you guys keep getting married, if you're so miserable married?

Serious question. I don't understand men who keep getting married, then divorced, then married again.

Why do you need to marry them? Just have girlfriends.

I waited until late in life to get married, VERY late to have a kid. I might have another. But I don't feel trapped or unhappy.

Why do you marry these women with whom you seem to have either no connection, no peaceful home life or no mutual pleasure? What's the point?

Are you blindly following some inner script or pre-programming that you HAVE to be married?
 
Let's not feel TOO sorry for the poor lad. His wife may not have his impressive work on the walls at home, but I've got two of them posted proudly on my office walls at our common workplace.

When Steve's not in earshot and admirers stop by to gawk at them, I of course leave inferences that I'm the proud papa of the images...

I keep offering him my D3 (still has that new camera smell) and assortment of fine Nikon glass to use at his whim, and he keeps turning up his nose and then wanders off into the desert with some aging rangefinder or a homemade pinhole camera and some obscure East European film that expired when Kruschev was still in power...

Two days later he comes in to work with startling images that I don't attain even in my dreams and the finest digital tools on the planet.

I just wish his wife would take ALL of his damned toys away so that my self esteem might slowly recover...
 
snowcrash said:
Let's not feel TOO sorry for the poor lad. His wife may not have his impressive work on the walls at home, but I've got two of them posted proudly on my office walls at our common workplace.

When Steve's not in earshot and admirers stop by to gawk at them, I of course leave inferences that I'm the proud papa of the images...

I keep offering him my D3 (still has that new camera smell) and assortment of fine Nikon glass to use at his whim, and he keeps turning up his nose and then wanders off into the desert with some aging rangefinder or a homemade pinhole camera and some obscure East European film that expired when Kruschev was still in power...

Two days later he comes in to work with startling images that I don't attain even in my dreams and the finest digital tools on the planet.

I just wish his wife would take ALL of his damned toys away so that my self esteem might slowly recover...
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That'll teach me to get personal on line. I'm being stalked by my boss', boss', boss. :eek:
 
pesphoto said:
Dude, turn off the bedroom tv and give your wife a nice back massage.......could lead to other things......works for me.

I guess question is....do you want to.? Hey, there are always times when we arent feeling attractive or are in the "mood". But maybe she is mnissing something, ya know? Maybe youre missing something. Talk about it is all im saying. Enjoy your life together.
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Giggidy....:p
 
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