I like to wake up in a 500 thread count set of sheets on my oaken-hewed bed, with a fine Cohiba cigar still smoldering in my mouth, along with my fine silk pajamas soaked with a vintage cognac, with hints of mulberry and seaweed, which I will wring out and swallow immediately, spilling just a little on my expensive Mac Powerbook.
In my bed will be a splendid 18 year old chanteuse, who will perform various ministrations on me until I am satiated.
At this point, as I feel consciousness intruding on my previous state of bliss, I will ingest 6 freshly prescribed Vicodin ES tablets, along with a wonderful mint tea highly sweetened with 12 lumps of "Parrot" brand Turbinado sugar.
Slowly, I will arise, and turn on my excellent 56" Pansonic plasma TV connected to a Blu Ray DVD player loaded with an amusing 1930's Hal Roach production, preferably a "Little Rascals" episode featuring a young "Spanky", or perhaps "The Piano Movers" with Laurel and Hardy.
As I watch the humorous performance, the opioids and the brandy will slowly kick in, I strap on my 1965 Rolex "James Bond" Submariner, and that's when I stumble to the shed and mount my lovingly restored 1944 Reichswehr BMW motorcycle with a fully operable all-original Bren gun mounted in the sidecar, at which point I will take to the highway at 90 mph.
A sturdy, loyal little native bearer will accompany me, manning the Bren gun, and carrying a large Corinthian leather rucksack filled with a small brick of Afghan opium, a flask containing cask strength 1956 vintage Laphroaig whisky, and 3,000 rounds of hollow-point ammunition.
Laughing gaily, with the ocean lapping the shore on my left, and the sun smiling down on a perfect day, I will veer my motorcycle at various slower motorists, shouting "Out of the way, peons!", as my sassy bearer sprays those too obstreperous to yield with a merry hail of live ammunition.
At this point I will ingest several panes of fine, 1960's Owlsley acid, and roar into a 5 star Napa restaurant for some wonderful Kobe beef, goat vindaloo and a jeroboem of Chateau Yquem.
Satiated, we shall forsake photography, yet manage to record our perfect day with a Red video camera, in high def, which when sober we will realize contains footage salable to "Girls Gone Wild".
It has been a fine day, with fine accouterments, suitable for a person of impeccable and highly refined tastes, such as ourself.
We give thanks for being in this world. Feh, on that Leica M8. To the garbage pail with it.