NYC Journal

[Calzone]

I needed extra rest and slept 9 hours. I find rest becomes more important as I age. I am seeing a tightening of my core from the pushups and physical work. Not really getting bigger or bulkier, so I remain just a skinny bitch, but with tone and definition. This serves me well for cycling.

Perhaps I look bigger because my waist is thinner and my stomach flatter. My chest I would say has a pronounced cleavage.

The brand kinda killed any excitement I had, and I think the same happened to Maggie. In a ways I feel annoyed and bothered because at this point I feel disappointed. Know that I don’t need the money, and certainly I don’t need to be bothered. Like I have said, “I don’t know anyone with a complicated life that was happy.” Pretty much I want my simple life back and don’t want to be bothered. Pretty much not worth it.

I guess my attitude is sour, and I’m cool with that. I would like to move on. I also know if I needed the money that this scenario would be very fraught, and I also understand that I have the good fortune to just say, “Oh-well.”

The shoot was suppose to be this Friday in NYC, and now with Thanksgiving week and other obligations already booked rescheduling will be difficult. Then there is Christmas… This campaign needs to be ready by January 1st and it is not a simple nor inexpensive production. No contract has been signed yet in the haste, so at this point I belive it may not happen.

Better to process it this way rather than get depressed. Of course “Maggie” is involved with this, and she takes things in a more personal manner. I see it as more of a business and an opportunity. Her book coming out in March 2024 is about getting snookered by being an influencer and loosing her identity and creativity. Understand it is not so easy for her.

On the Baby-Victorian I had thought I had a dry basement, but I found a small puddle in my porch basement. I used a towel to mop up about a half gallon of water and wondered where the water leaked from. After I removed the puddle I saw water enter through the foundation where the sewer pipe exits the house.

I kinda freak and get stressed because replacing a sewer line not only is costly it is a big job. I called my neighbor Ed who is an arctitect.

A few days had elapsed before I mopped up the puddle and it did not grow, nor did the water dissipate because the porch basement is isolated from my main basement by a door. I had flushed toilets, taken showers, and run the dishwasher over the period of a few days to kinda verify that the sewer line was intact and not clogged, but when I toweled up the puddle I saw where the water penetrated my basement.

Ed kinda verified my thinking, and his father a builder with masonry skills suggested a sump pump. They also pointed to a gutter drain on my porch that contributed to likely water percolation. Ed also explained the big picture: we live in a valley within the greater Hudson Valley. 50 years ago our neighborhood was considered a flood zone even though we are 75-80 feet bone sea level. Evidently after heavy rains the water in Blue Mountain percolates and heads towards the Hudson River over a period of 2-3 days.

Some houses like Ed’s require sump pumps. For the past 3 years I experienced a dry basement, but with global warming things are changing. This greatly effects my plans for the basement. I have to rethink a lot of things like storage and a darkroom.

Anyways the positive note is that this Friday and Saturday the sump will get constructed by Ed’s dad. Friday was suppose to be the shoot in NYC. Oh-well. Our house is mor important than frenzied BS.

Pretty hard for me to take the frenzied BS seriously, and I don’t think this is a bad attitude. “Oh-well,” I say. I call it what it is…

Cal

 

[Calzone]

Oh the drama: at 11:00 AM today a possible resolution is being tabled.

As you can tell I already booked Friday and Saturday to move forward. Let’s see…

Next week is daycare/childcare that was scheduled/booked months ago. Then in the beginning of December we have appointments that are important, anyways more important that being jerked around.

If this is the way things are in this industry, I’m not so eager to be a nice guy to offer flexibility. Anyone that knows me that I can be truely mean and evil when I flip that switch. Also retirement translates into me not needing any of this nonsense.

I don’t want to come across as a maven of sorts, but pretty much I have a healthy self esteem, and I don’t need chaos in my life. Shame on me if I put up with this.

I will also add that I am not rigid, and out of spite I will not screw myself. The money is good and green, and pretty much is enough to be life changing.

The 11:00 AM call might be a zoom call and know I’m dressed in my usual “rags” which basically are old clothes I never threw out. The T-shirt has the sleeves cut off, the collar is partially gone, yet the logo is “Princeton University Physics.” Grumman had a lab there that involved a Toke-A-Mat pretty much a machine that was a reactor for fusion energy research where temperatures that approached the temperature of our sun were attained here on earth.

Perhaps this shirt is over 30 years old. Could be 35 years old.

Anyways, that’s my style and not high fashion at all. All this talk about being eco I have lived and believed in for decades. Not new to me. To me the over 30 years of wear and tare or more elevate the history and sense of purpose. So what the T-shirt is a rag.

Cal

 

[Nokton48]

We have a marine battery hooked to a charger, in the event of an outage. Our sump pump blows water down our hill into the nearby creek. I remember one year we had two inches of standing water in our backyard! Only once, we live on a hilltop. We had to make sure it drains "away" from the house, the previous owner was not so swift in such matters. One of those fix everything by beating with hammer type of Guys.

 

[Calzone]

Devil Dan,

Our house was reported to be a rental by our next door neighbor (the Monster). The same guy who worked for the NYC MTA owned our house and my neighbor’s. Pretty much this guy was a total hack, but what saved our house is that in it’s 113 year life it only got only a major reno once in 1975.

The bonus was much of the original detail remains. It is a house worth restoring.

My forensics were the tank top of the famous “squatty pottie” that I recycled as the toilet for the powder room off the kitchen. The same Home Cheapo tiles were utilized in both baths and the kitchen.

Originally the powder room was part of my rear porch, so this was an addition, and the front porch at one time was an open porch. Now it is enclosed and a basement was dug out underneath it.

We paid extra to have the house inspected by a PE (Professional licensed Engineer). The good was the 200 amp service upgrade, the only 7 year old roof, and a really great Crown oil furnace with tankless hot water. Basically the house has good bones.

The drainage problem I can do myself, but I have to contact the gas company. I don’t want any explosions. LOL. Pretty much I have to dig a trench and run a 5 inch PVC pipe to direct the runoff from my porch gutter into the dead end. This I can do myself. My labor is cheap/free. “Don’t tell Maggie that.” LOL.

My bet is that the sump pump is overkill, but I like to sleep at night. I was also thinking of the car battery backup just in case of a power failure with these crazy storms we have been having. In the end I will have maybe an 18 KW natural gas generator as my backup.

For “Maggie” air conditioning is life support because she is Northern European and prone to heat stroke.

I was thinking the porch basement could of been a good place for a small darkroom, but now it seems I’ll make a larger one that has 4 freestanding walls that is mucho larger in the full basement. I know this is kinda odd, but from a design point I’m trying to not have condensation and mold by avoiding building walls against the foundation. Also the hot water manifold for my heating system would be in the way and would encroach on the already low 7 foot ceiling. Then I have an oil tank, and back then the design of homes involved a center chimney.

I’m always trying to offset setbacks with a more positive overtone. A larger darkroom makes sense since I will fully utilize the 7 foot ceilings, where I could make it an 8x15 or 8x20. Long and skinny also is a great design for workflow in a darkroom.

I like it. BTW I guess the more time it takes the better the outcome. Such is the way of art.

I wish Maggie would learn that lesson and not be so busy, unrelaxed, and rushing. To me this really is a waste of time and not living day by day.

Anyways the percolation and the seepage is just another small speed bump that will be dealt with. “Oh-well,” again.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

London zoom call was a negotiation report of how things changed. Somehow new packaging involved some of the logistics. Then the campaign was shortened from a year to now only 6-months with an option for an additional 6 months.

The brand tried to halve the fee, but our agent made the adjustment only a slight haircut. I kinda like how the option could play out.

Then it was explained to us that this company is a small start up and how they don’t really know how to handle “talent” meaning people with representation. Basically they are new to this. I kinda laugh at this because so am I.

So you can tell how great our agent is. She is worth the 20%. Now it makes sense why Fern, Vanessa’s assistant, is coming to NYC as our handler. BTW it will be Fern’s first time to NYC.

One wrench in the works is they wanted to shoot in our home again, but we pushed back. Pretty much our Baby-Victorian is a not only a work in progress, but also a construction zone. Also just across the dead end is the abandoned house which is a major construction area with possible noise bleed. I’m not embarrassed that our home is a mess. I live here. LOL.

So I got talked off the ledge. Snookered again. On one hand the time envelope is shorter, but with the 6-month option it can be extended to a year. This could become very meaningful income.

Also it seems like our local homeless shelter will get hit with a contribution from this company. Part of this work helps our community.

So later today and tomorrow more news and phone calls as things firm up after Thanksgiving.

Anyways I have a lot to be thankful for. This weekend is The Turkey Trot, a benefit for our local homeless shelter. I need to buy a big turkey and figure out a costume for the Trot aspect. The turkey is a donation and this is a fundraiser. Also “Maggie” just processed all the herbs she harvested that are now dried.

I now have a month’s supply of product for us to try and evaluate. It was delivered yesterday. Kinda costly. Kinda farm to vitamin and minerals, organic, non GMO…

Cal

 

[Calzone]

The experience of eating vitamins verses taking vitamins is a different experience. This new product is more akin to eating a small bite of a cake. Meanwhile swallowing pills is less flavorful. In fact I wish the bites were bigger because I like the taste and texture.

I find myself admiring the look of the Fat Chance Yo Eddy. The frame size is a small-medium and because this frame size is slightly small for me the seatpost is rather long. Along with a sloping top tube and oversized tires (currently 2.35 Schwable Rocket Ron) the bike has an aggressive look that kills me, yet it also looks compact.

The aggressive look will get compounded when I mount a set of Maxxis Minion DHF 2.5 wide tires, that unlike many retro/vintage mountain bikes, can be accommodated because it is a racing bike designed specifically for tires of this wider width.

In comparison My steel IBIS bikes seem to be much more overbuilt and heavier. Of course they are built for not only bigger mountains, but also less rocky and rooty terrain. Pretty much I’m comparing bikes made in Marin County in California with a bike maker from the northeast.

I’m also surprised that despite heavy tires and some heavy components that will be eventually upgraded like pedal, bottom bracket, seatpost, and saddle, that the bike only weighs 22 3/4 pounds and it is not tricked out.

The ride of the Fat Chance is comfy. Somehow the frame is stiff enough to be responsive, but also yielding enough to absorb some shock or sting from irregular surfaces. Somehow the Yo Eddy has the right balance. I guess this is why Fat Chance bikes have a cult following. I guess I’m a fanboy.

”Maggie” had a talk with her editor, and what came out is how the publicity and marketing seemed to be lame. Pretty much their perspective was to promote the book as a “gift” book that someone would buy for their mother or grandmother, when actually 75% of Maggies followers are people 25-55, meaning the average age is actually 40 And has a much broader appeal.

Basically the book is not about aging so much. The writers who have written blurbs all say the book is about living, not aging. The publicity and marketing seems not to have read the book and really did not get it. This was like a bomb going off.

I’m kinda glad that Maggie stood up and prevented her work from being misrepresented and co-opted. Having your work and expression oppressed in this manner is just awful. The editor, considered a friend and ally, was upset, I think out of embarrassment.

According to Maggie her editor understood and did not get defensive. The bulbs from high profile authors that Maggie had gotten did a much better job of promoting the book and setting a hook to any reader than the publicity and marketing team.

The points in the blurbs could not be argued, and indicated that the publisher did very little to promote the book.

Meanwhile her editor was suppose to use her contacts to also get blurbs, and she apologized that she had none. Nada…
Nothing.

Pretty much this confirmed what Maggie’s other writer friends have repeated: basically promotion and marketing by the publisher is mucho lame; and the responsibility falls upon the author for book promotion. IMHO pretty much people are getting paid for nothing and not doing their jobs.

I also think Maggie handled things in a good way. I think I would of had one of my hussy fits that my friends say is worse than a woman, and I would have made many enemies and likely gotten blacklisted from the publishing world.

Interesting to note that Eugene Smith at the end of his career was blacklisted.

In our talks I mention do you really want to be famous, do you really want to have a best seller, do you want to make a lot of money, or would just having a small cult following be what you really want? Do you just want to express yourself as an artist, or do you have another need. Basically what is the purpose of your writing, and who really is your audience or the people who count.

Evidently Maggie already has impressed some very big and influential writers that are New York Times best sellers. She already has that critical acclaim that is needed to be taken seriously. And she has a loyal “cult-following” in her sub stack that are willing to ay for subscriptions.

Anyways for me I’d rather have even a tiny cult following rather than wealth, fame or glory. The BS is just not worth it to me and is a huge source of unhappiness. Mass audience approval isn’t really authentic IMHO when it comes to artistic expression.

The gate keeping, the exclusion, and the corruption and loss of identity Maggie should know better, but she fell into that trap. I’m surprised she has not seen or recognized the pattern. Ironic that she is a Social Worker with a PhD.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

The crew came to create a sump in the porch basement came today. The bad news is we determined the water is coming in from the sewer line by running the kitchen sink and flushing the toilet in the powder room.

When I first noticed the surprise puddle days ago I did the same testing and did not see any increase in puddle size so my belief was the sewer pipe was not the source. What made the leak more obvious was when some cement was removed from the stone wall.

Oh-well…

So that is the bad news. The pipe is likely the original from back when sewers were first installed. I don’t know that history…

Good news is that the pipe from my foundation to the street is perhaps only 15 feet.

Also the newsflash is that now they have capabilities to line old cast iron sewer pipes with a plastic tubing, so pretty much it is a one day job if they can get a crew together. They do a video inspection of the line that costs $190.00, but that is refundable if you assign the job to them within 24 hours.

So this problem is not a major disaster. A technician will be coming by between 11:30 and 12:30 today. My hope is that they can complete the job tomorrow Saturday.

Happy-happy.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

I got some forensics from my sewer crew. The pipe is a clay pipe and not cast iron. It has separated in places, and has some obstructions like tree roots (big Japanese Maple). Evidently this is the original pipe from when the house was built (1912) and back then Peekskill had sewers.

They are kinda booked up, and Wednesday is when the job will be done; it only takes one day. They have to bore and mill the existing pipe to clean and prep it. They figure 42 feet from access trap to curb, and the cost is $7.5K. No tax because it is considered a capitol improvement. They will show up at 9:00 AM on Wednesday.

$7.5K Ouch.

One neighbor took a guess at $4K-$6K, but that was the old way of digging out the old pipe and replacing it. The new method prevents further damage to my Japanese Maple. When it was pruned severely by the house seller it suffered a sun scaling and so far two entire branches died off. Unfortunately lots of damage was done because the real estate agent said the tree hid the house.

A Natural Gas line nearby also is a complication for any excavation.

Now I have a sump pit that I likely won’t need. Oh-well.

The situation is we can flush toilets, but no toilet paper. Of course no laundry or dish washer. We likely might be able to shower. They did remove some obstruction when snaking the camera to inspect the line.

The sump pit crew showed me a quarter size hole that lay hidden in the stone foundation.

To me this is an Oh-well when you buy a really old house. This pipe is 111 years old.

Despite the setback I’m glad things are getting addressed.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

I had replaced the flat Syncros stem that came with the Yo Eddy with a Titec flat stem that allowed use of a carbon fiber riser bar I had on hand, but now I used a Syncros riser stem that is a bit shorter. I like the look and the period correctness. Also know that Syncros stems were spec’ed stems on Fat Chances.

It seems by luck I have what I need, and it looks great on the bike. I likely eventually will upgrade the straight handlebar.

Anyways the look is savage.

I seem to have a relapse of the congestion and cough that I call grandson disease. I decided to just rest today because exercise can tax the body And effect the immune system. I’m tired of being sick.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

I must of had a fever last night. I had to remove the blankets because I was baking. My cough and congestion are much better. My hope is that I made a turn for the better.

”Maggie” wants to give me a Covid test…

I think the sinus infection I had from long ago I never fully conquered and I experienced a relapse. I’m tired of this illness’s persistence.

Wednesday for the sewer repair now seems so far away. Pretty much I feel like I’m camping.

Today is the Turkey Trot, a fundraiser for our local homeless shelter. This non profit is experiencing lots of trouble: their lease is ending, a local Church has reduced their access to only one day a week instead of 2; the Church also is raising the rent; and there is a lot of opposition for any relocation.

Anyways it seems like a long upward hill battle…

I think about Thanksgiving, and we, meaning “Maggie” and I, have a lot to be great full and thankful for. We are not only retired, but also privileged. Not everyone gets to retire. They say 2/3rds of Americans will have to work till they die because they can’t afford to retire. Many were foolish and lived beyond their means and failed to plan and save. For many retirement means embracing poverty.

They also say that pretty much retirement needs a ten-year overview of planning, but in my experience retirement has not worked out as I had planned, and it just kinda happened. Luckily I was somewhat prepared, so everything turned out alright. I will repeat that all the plans we made that basically none of them happened.

In other words retirement was a sudden surprise and luckily we were ready for it.

These thoughts return every Thanksgiving, and perhaps as retirement progresses, these feelings of gratitude get amplified. I do feel like I am living a dream.

I can see how Maggie sometimes looses her humility. I think I remain humble, and that is a space I want to be. The world she is embracing I know is fraught and full of booby-traps that distort Ego’s. Pretty much one begins to believe they are “great” or “special.” Basically the flattery becomes believable, but pretty much this is kinda sale motivated.

Interesting to note that Maggie does not see the pattern of behavior, even though she is a Social Worker with a PhD.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

It rained a little earlier today. I hope this does not diminish support for the Turkey Trot. Part of this event is donating a turkey, but it is also a fundraiser for desperately need cash donations.

We don’t think our community realizes why the homeless problem is kinda invisible in Peekskill. If this non-profit ceases to do the work certainly the homeless will be more visible. Our real best interest is to have this shelter because this problem is not going away.

Cal

 

[Phil_F_NM]

Do the covid test. Sinus infections don’t cause fever on their own, unless a person is immunocompromised. Could be flu too.

Phil

 

[Calzone]

Phil,

I just did a Covid test, and thankfully it was negative.

Today the coughing and congestion has improved. I think the downtime and resting more can’t hurt.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

The Turkey Trot turnout was high despite the earlier morning rain.

I realized today that I am experiencing an enhanced vulnerability because my life is so great. No exaggeration that I feel like I’m living the dream.

A counter effect though is that I’m somehow getting “triggered” and I’m remembering so much sadness amnd suffering that somehow defense mechanisms engaged for me to forget. It is very odd to be both so very happy and also so very sad. Here I am writing this and I am a bit overwhelmed and crying. All these feelings from my past are now emerging because I’m in a safe place.

I learned our local food pantry and homeless shelter are at risk of being homeless themselves sometime this December. I think this kinda stress is reminding me of my own past and how close to the edge I lived for a great part of my life. Certainly escaping poverty is a high risk task where there are gambles of all or nothing with just one mistake and you’re kinda done.

I inquired with the volunteer who was in charge of collecting donations. I had a check, and I enquired about the turnout. He said over 300 people pre-registered. Each was asked to donate a turkey or chicken as a contribution. I saw some friends and familiar faces, and I felt a strong sense of community that was kinda wonderful.

Later at our City Hall I saw a line of people, basically a group of families, and they were waiting in line for the turkeys and chickens to be distributed.

I saw a cop and I asked how long he was on the job, and he said 8 years, but only 5 in Peekskill. I inquired where before and he said, “Newbourgh.” And then I asked, “How do they compare?”

“Night and day,” he said. Know that Newbourgh is a bigger city with bigger problems. The cop went on about how much poverty, crime, and violence was in Newbourgh.

I strongly believe if we don’t have this food pantry and shelter that certainly we would be taking a step towards being more like Newbourgh. To me this is an emergency.

Anyways this Thanksgiving is becoming somewhat a profound event for me. I am being reminded of my past. I am both very happy, and very sad.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

I need to get well. I need to get a Flu Shot, but I don’t want one under these conditions. Evidently the Flu is starting to surge.

I stopped by Lowes and bought some Plumbers Putty to close an irregular golf ball sized hole in the clay pipe. Evidently there is some blockage remaining that is a restriction. It ends up that my sump is of use now and was not a total waste.

If I can seal this leak with the putty it would be great. Wednesday is not so far away, but I don’t want to fill my sump. We also bought a camping toilet that basically is a lid with a seat to convert a 5 gallon pail into a toilet for solid waste. Like I said, this is like camping.

I stumbled into some Nike underwear, the last pack of a boy’s Large for 27-28 inch waists. The problem with men’s small is that they are a bit too big on me and are built for men with 29-31 inch waists. For some reason they did not have the extra-small sizes in men’s which would of worked for me.

With my coughing I noticed that a six pack is forming. Never in my life have I had a six-pack; a four-pack yes. Pretty much in between the abs that are a four-pack is another set of abs that are emerging. In a few months I’ll be 66 and possibly with a 6-pack. It’s kinda crazy being an old man trapped in a 15-16 year old body.

At Dick’s Sporting Goods I saw a chinning bar that will fit in a doorway. There were three different versions: 3, 4, and 5 different grips. Somehow the doorway measurements are different for the 3 different models. I have to measure and figure out which best serves us.

I think AJ’s idea of strength training works well for me. He can do 20, but he says it took him a while to get there. The last time I did pull-ups was a few years ago, and at a kid’s playground I somehow impressed some UBER fit guy who perhaps could do 12-15 in a set. I kinda did 8, and that was “off-the-couch” meaning not doing pullups regularly.

Part of AJ’s talent as a racer comes from his dad. AJ describes his dad says a “Scary Guy” who basically was a car-head greaser from the Bronx. AJ says he can’t really hug his dad because his chest is so big, and that his dad stands at 5’7”, but he would be about 2 inches taller if he had a neck.

His dad is in his seventies, and I asked AJ if he could take him down in a fight. AJ reported, “Only if he was worn down for 4-5 minutes fighting other guys.”

Then AJ tells me stories where in a bar he would place a challenge of lifting his huge fat friend who weighed 400 pounds. Pretty much his big friend would get on his shoulders and doing a squat he would lift him. Then to go a set further another guy would sit on the 400 pound guy’s shoulders and AJ’s dad would perform a squat.

So no doubt that AJ has some of those genes and is very strong as well as being an expert technical rider.

Anyways my advantage is my strength to weight ratio because I’m a small man, even though 5’10.“ I’ll never have the power of these men.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

Some Plumber’s Putty did a lot to seal the golf ball sized hole in the clay pipe just underneath the stone foundation wall. It still weeps some leakage, but perhaps only a few tablespoons instead of a full glass of water.

Me thinks that there is some obstruction still between the street and my porch basement because I can see water on the top of the pipe with a flashlight Even without any water running. Pretty much this is the best I can do at this time to seal the leak.

My thinking also believes that perhaps some solid waste that was residual in the long line that runs the full length of the house likely collected in this section of pipe. Maybe time and just gravity might help it along. Anyways, might be wishful thinking, but I hope it clears.

As much as I like exercise and staying in shape, I actually am enjoying the downtime. It is a change of pace.

Glad I don’t have Covid.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

I just read an article about regret reported from a hospice worker who helped many with their end-of-life by listening.

The number one regret was wishing they had the courage to be true to themselves. My spin is that many get caught up in BS and stuff that does not really matter in the end. Pretty much this is looked upon as wasting their life.

I can see how Social Media and especially being a Digital Influencer can make people loose themselves. “Maggie” lost herself and wrote a book about it that will be released in March 2024. She kinda wasted about 6 years of her life on what she described as a “Hamster-Wheel.” She describes loosing her identity.

In a way her book contract and publishing a book was a similar struggle. In certain ways her expression was not so free, and in a ways was co-opted. She had to fit into a mold controlled by others. Not really free-expression at all. Things get more out of hand when a mass audience is involved.

We live in a capitalistic society where almost everything is for sale or commodified. I see parallels between the life written about in the book, and also in the process of getting a book published.

Anyways my eyes have been wide open. Maggie is 70 and she is becoming acutely aware of limited time. I think she already has some remorse over wasting time.

Meanwhile if I got killed tomorrow I don’t think I wasted my life. Pretty much I did what I wanted and made few mistakes. I certainly remained true to myself. I’m pretty sure Maggie is burdened by the time she has wasted.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

Today in Peekskill Coffee this guy acknowledged me a second time. The first time was just a glance with a chin point, then he said, “Hello Joe.”

I told him my name is not Joe. In conversation I find out he is a tech recruiter, and I gave MIke some of my background at Grumman, two National Labs, and being a Cyclotron Engineer that worked for two major NYC Hospitals.

I found out Mike was a Marine assigned Embassy Duty. Anyways we hit it off and he wanted my contact info to profile me. I told him I was retired, but I guess he was impressed with me enough. So here we go again, I’m retired and perhaps a job will come along. Perhaps some high paying consulting.

Oh-well. “I was just minding my own business.” Now I’m on some head-hunter’s radar.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

Today I am much improved with the cough and congestion, but perhaps not 100%. I might of worn myself down between exercise and physical work. It takes a bit to learn that I’m almost 66 and there are limits to what I can ask of my body.

Anyways I slept 10 hours last night and it helped greatly.

Maybe I’ll get a Flu shot tomorrow.

I think about our house. A lot of work has been performed, there are some serious results, but still a lot remains although not so big a jobs.

Getting rid of six dining room chairs from the porch basement opened things up. “Maggie” is a procrastinator. “I’ll sell them later, or we should have a dead end sale,” she says, but then nothing happens…

So I put them out on the corner with a “FREE” sign. Around dusk 4 of the chairs were gone. If it were me I would of taken all six and built 4 from the best parts. The next day another chair was taken, then on Friday I’m not sure if it was taken or if the garbagemen took it even though it was not a bulk pickup day.

So now I have room to work under the porch. I also have on hand 2 inch thick rigid foam with a radiant barrier as well as some 1 inch sheets. The porch basement is a big source of cold air into the basement and I have full 2x6 rafters. My thinking is buy some R-10 2 inch thick rigid panels and insulate in between the rafters to R-30 and then use the 1 inch panels I have with the radiant barrier on the bottom of the rafters to create a sealed envelope and prevent “thermal-bridging.”

Devil Christian taught me about thermal bridging and basically wood or worse metal studs and rafters basically conduct both heat and cold. Also I learned that with radiant barriers you need to have a continuous envelope to actually create a seal.

The bad is I loose an inch of ceiling height, and of course I have to cover the rigid insulation with 5/8 inch thick sheet rock as a fire barrier since rigid foam is combustible.

The dust has settled, and now I know the porch basement will only be used for storage. At one point I had thought it might be alright for a small darkroom, but that idea is gone now. Oh-well.

They say that in an old house it takes a few years of living in it to develop a vision. Pretty much this suggests that it is an evolutionary process that takes it’s own time. Here is a good example.

”Maggie” of late seems to be stuck in thinking about end-of-life and her own mortality. Her mom lived to 94, and Maggie according to a longevity test could have a lifespan of 105 years. A lot of struggle is going on. Her mom only died not too long ago, but I don’t think getting stuck where she is at can have a beneficial outcome. In fact it can become a self fulfilling.

I might be a bit delusional, but it is also reasonable that one day I could become the oldest man alive. I don’t look my age, no meds, and I’m pretty strong and fit. I also have the small compact body size that favors longevity. My dad lived to 94 despite being poor, illiterate, and an immigrant.

Then Maggie can’t really relax, she still is a bit too busy. Lot of this is anxiety. There is a lot of overthinking and making simple things complicated that for me is a headache. To me more of wasting time instead of just being happy.

Anyways retirement like buying an old house is an evolutionary process. Maggie I don’t think is ready, but I think she is also wasting time and getting stuck in a bit of a death spiral. I question if she is happy or might ever be fulfilled. Meanwhile I’m kinda where I want to be.

Realize that Maggie is already 70, and she is still wasting time and is stuck in a rut of remorse. This book publication she can’t wait for it to be over, and pretty much now this accomplishment is looked upon as a burden. There are very mixed feelings here. At this point it could be a big let-down that leads to depression, something that writers suffer from.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

Navy SEAL survival training teaches that 95% of survival is maintaining a positive mental attitude. I think I have, maintain and entertained the idea that positive thinking works to a benefit, and often negative thinking promotes bad outcomes.

Then there is the Hi-ZEN-Burg principle where outcomes are effected by thinking.

I have lived through a lot, but some how kept a positive mental attitude. I think the strange amount of luck I have is beyond coincidence. Pretty much an outcome of positive thinking. Some people call this resilience.

We had a bit of an icebreaker conversation about the future, the worries of aging, and all the possibilities. We agreed that pretty much surprises will happen and perhaps our plans to age out and die in the Baby-Victorian might not happen. Then came mucho ideas about having a more flexible approach that allows more freedom, adaptablity, and flexibility.

This kinda changes some of capitol improvement expenses because in the shorter term we want the house to be readily sellable within perhaps 2-3 years. We are not saying we plan on selling, but we want the freedom and flexibility just in case things change.

Basically we realize that in retirement anything can happen. Then they said that Toronto will have the same sub tropical climate of NYC within a decade. We figure in the least when “Maggie” is 80 we will see how we are doing and go from there.

Like in a game of Chess we are thinking about three moves ahead. I know one thing: Canada is kinda the Saudi Arabia for fresh water. This will become a rather important and big issue for the rest of the world, including the U.S.

If we have the opportunity to live long extended lives there might be a time when I might no longer be able to drive say in my 90’s or past 100. A lot of things could happen over the next 4-5 decades if things pan out.

Our Baby-Victorian is/was a good plan, but retirement is fraught, and any surprise could happen. If anything bad happened to me, basically Maggie could not handle this house alone, and by having it sellable and ready to sell insures a just in case scenario. Things like getting an 18 KW generator likely would be pre-mature, and walking away from infrastructure like that would mark a loss.

Like I said above, retirement is an evolutionary process. Our initial plan, while a good one, was too rigid.

Cal