NYC Journal

I have an appointment with a radiation oncologist on April 1st.

Interesting is that they called me to make the appointment today before I called them.

I’m feeling like I’m getting a VIP treatment. Somehow things are somewhat getting streamlined and fast tracked.

Cal
 
The open is a mixed screen…

So “Maggie” points to some of my OCD behaviors that more clearly display unusual behavior that perhaps seriously places me in the “spectrum.”

My guitar room, my bikes, my cameras, my prints. She didn’t mention my 84 Scrambler with the Corvette engine…

So I kinda overdue things, but this is much more interesting than being pedestrian or “extra-medium.”

So I quip back to her after she mentions she use to be obsessed with fashion, and now she wears the same clothes all the time.

“In the past, you accused me of having no style because I wore the same clothes all the time.”

Know that I call my old clothes “rags.”

So seriously I might be in the spectrum because of some of my OCD behaviors. I tend to run with the ball and go to extremes. To me “Crazy is good…”

So I have a boring life, but I’m not boring…

In the guitar room I have a guitar storage problem. I need to be able to hang guitars on the wall. I’m running out of space.

Cal
 
To me I see a corelation between photography and some OCD behavior, or perhaps behavior that could be deemed OCD.

Don’t confuse that though with passion or commitment. Big difference here.

I look at and perhaps judge many people harshly because sadly they don’t have love or passion in their lives like I do.

I can love my bikes and biking. I have very strong attachments and sentiment. It seems like they are an extension of myself.

To me they are not just objects, they have a life and a history that mingles with my life. The same with my cameras and guitars.

So maybe I am just a passionate person that is more alive than most people.

Maybe I’m not in the spectrum, but because of quirky behaviors that stand out I could be diagnosed as having some anti-social tendencies, and is that not what autism is?

Some interesting thoughts. I understand my POV is arrogant, but I’m cool with that. Just trying to be me and not like everyone else.

Cal
 
Calzone said:
To me I see a corelation between photography and some OCD behavior, or perhaps behavior that could be deemed OCD.

Don’t confuse that though with passion or commitment. Big difference here.

I look at and perhaps judge many people harshly because sadly they don’t have love or passion in their lives like I do.

I can love my bikes and biking. I have very strong attachments and sentiment. It seems like they are an extension of myself.

To me they are not just objects, they have a life and a history that mingles with my life. The same with my cameras and guitars.

So maybe I am just a passionate person that is more alive than most people.

Maybe I’m not in the spectrum, but because of quirky behaviors that stand out I could be diagnosed as having some anti-social tendencies, and is that not what autism is?

Some interesting thoughts. I understand my POV is arrogant, but I’m cool with that. Just trying to be me and not like everyone else.

Cal
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I wouldn't worry too much about "being on the spectrum". I see many of these "popular" diagnoses as being a product of our "culture of therapy" that makes any behavior outside a narrow statistical norm a diagnosable pathology and an identity. It's both a form of social control, and, oh yeah, also a source of profit for the medical industry. After all, you can only bill for it if it's in the DSM!
I am not in any way claiming that serious mental illness does not exist, nor saying that it is not treatable by various combinations of therapy and medication. What I am saying is that we need to be very, very careful that what makes us unique individuals does not become pathologized and subjected to the scrutiny and control of a for-profit medical system.
As for passion? I have always maintained that one of the first things I want to know about someone, going into any kind of relationship, is whether they are passionate about something. And it doesn't matter so much what it is; it's more about that capacity for passion. I've found that interests and activities that I would never have considered interesting can become fascinating to me when someone who is truly passionate about them is eager to share that passion.
Our culture fosters so much self-doubt and insecurity! It's a great way to then market empty, ineffective "solutions" to us. And of course, there are always people eager to laugh at your dreams. I've found that those are the people who usually have none of their own. I avoid them like the plague.
 
Good luck with the treatment and sending strength.
Remembered that a year ago we buried our family friend who passed due to lung cancer, however had been a heavy smoker.

If anything, the pandemic and that just incentivized me to live and enjoy as much as possible, find pleasure even in microadventures.
I caught up with a friend that, heck time just passed and we had not seen in 1.5 years. From him and others I do get a sense that days are routine, you work, and that's it except for some holidays.
Been traveling around winter, even taking weekend trips and then just darkrooming the film taken on those occasions.

Inflatiom and this sort of makes me spend more, but also it's not about hardcore spending. Also, growing frugal, college etc. It's nice to ger to the point where you can spend more freely with less calculations and "what ifs".

I am having frequent walks with my unemployed friend and he is "come on don't complain!" When discussing inflation. But lifestyle inflation is also a trap; and ordinary inflation indeed takes its bite.

I am curious if/when we may have a large correction... Should be time for it, but no good for us laypeople
 
I spent about 4 hours cleaning up my dead end. I a way it could be consider yard work or gardening. Had a half dump truck load of leaves to move. The City of Peekskill also plowed up remnants from the Con-Ed contractors into a pile of mixed gravel, clay and soil

I learned that shoveling, raking, and loading a dump cart are good exercises for bladder control. I caught myself starting to release, but I stayed high and dry. I can see why it takes about 6 months to really recover and heal.

I used a lot of unused muscles in my torso and back. Actually had to rest and recover at times from exertion. No hammering today, basically old man mode at a measured pace, but it was good for me and my bladder.

“Maggie” says I kinda overwhelm my urologist/surgeon. Pretty much I’m kinda gung-ho, hurry up, I’m ready for the chemical castration, and then the radiation treatment.

So pretty much I feel great, but technically I’m not fully healed yet. Also the protocol is shrink the tumor with ADT and then blast a smaller tumor with radiation.

I must be weird for my urologist to have a happy patient who laughs and jokes around. Then I throw him for a loop with my technical questions. Remember I worked in an internationally renowned Cancer hospital for 21 years, and I have a nuclear background.

My journalism background also makes my questions kinda pointed.

I don’t think I’m autistic, but it may appear that way. LOL.

I agree with R-G, autism is over diagnosed.

Meanwhile we clearly have some crazies running our government. Go figure?

Cal
 
“Maggie” showed me this video of some Harvard Academic that did a research study on Grandparents that indicated that grandparents who interacted with their grandkids frequently actually live longer, are happier, and seem to have a strong sense of purpose.

Anyways that seems to be the case with Maggie and I.

Tomorrow we will have the grandkids. Anyways, they are a big part of our lives, and during the Pandemic we protected and took care of the grandson for a year and a half.

We had to go shopping for food, and pretty much I missed the Fed Ex delivery. Oh-well.

In the back-backyard I leveled part of the dead end with clean fill, and topped off the area with a thick layer of mulch. Last year things got too feral. Had some Morning Glories growing into a bit of a jungle that became a thicket.

I grabbed a Tarzan vine that I chopped off from the root maybe a year or more ago. It remained in a tree, but I pulled down about a 30-35 length of it. I’m now starting to reclaim the dead end, and pretty much I think I will annex it.

Next year I’ll set up a raised bed in a sunny spot and use it to farm tomatoes on the slope of the dead end.

I also created a ramp so I can get access to the Daffodils that are on the slope and so I can wheel my garden dump cart to add wood chips, clippings, and leaves to add more clean fill.

So I kinda initiated a spring cleaning of sorts.

A future project is to transplant a butterfly bush that outgrew the corner space by our pergola. We want to move it to a rear corner of the “table” in the back-backyard. By the pergola it draws too many bees. Also a Lilac bush kinda needs the space.

I have a pile of logs to split or as material to aid in my terracing.

I can see why gardening is a great hobby for seniors. Kinda strengthens the core. Also a relaxing activity.

Cal
 
I kinda see my OCD behavior as passion. OCD at this level is good.

Perhaps “Maggie” thinks differently. LOL.

I think my urologist does get overwhelmed by me though. I’m kinda direct, and for some people this is a challenge.

Also a happy Cancer patient? How many of them does he have?

Now that I think of it kinda odd.

Cal
 
Seems like there is a squeeze on copper, meaning not enough adequate supply of this commodity.

Pretty much a basic building material for many things.

Can’t build out the grid without it. Electrical for houses. Of course electronics. Can’t build a Tesla car or truck either without copper.

Record prices, and difficult to increase supply.

This is inflationary already, and then add on tariffs or “TARE-Ifs?”

Cal
 
The markets are mixed and close to flat with the DOW up 32 points in the pre-market and the other indexes mildly in the red.

But Gold made a new Intra-Day High of $3065.50. Flight to safety is kicking in.

Pressure is building it seems because gold is a flight to safety. April 2d is next week…

I would not say I’m sore, but I have a morning stiffness from yesterdays yard work. I need to do more of that to build up strength and stamina; and the warmer milder weather promotes that.

I’m having protein powder and hot milk instead of tea.

A project this year is to build a retaining wall at the end of what I call the “table” a section beyond the sheds that is almost level that precedes a slope that kinda is a drop off that is somewhat cliff like. Eventually I will have a series of raised beds below with a walkway that will be a series of terraces.

The slope decends eventually over 30 feet, down to the “landing” a flat area that is raise about 2 feet with a rock retaining wall just above the marsh. I think our property actually includes some of the marsh and extends into for about 6-10 feet.

I would argue with the building department that my retaining walls could be called a series of raised beds. Don’t tell “Maggie” but I won’t be getting a permit. Our property taxes are approaching $10K, mucho cheap for Westchester, but more than I like to pay.

Cal
 
The 4th quarter GNP of 2024 was revised upward 0.1% from 2.7% growth to 2.8%, but the estimated 1st quarter 2005 is expected to be only around 1.5%. Count one quarter of negative growth and a half step towards a recession.

The markets in the open turned into a red screen…

Europe is big time upset with the car import tariffs. Expect a strong response as a trade war escalates. Meanwhile the Orange House is scrambling to limit Canada’s expansion into the European markets. Their goods, services and resources are good elsewhere…

New York will suffer less tourism. This is kinda big.

Ask yourself if Americans have friends or allies anymore? Have we isolated ourselves from the world? Do we stand alone?

So I will exaggerate in a “Calzone” manner to make a point: we are like lepers where no one will visit where we live unless they have to. The rest of the world will avoid contact and interaction with us to the extent that our products, our equities, and our bonds are diseased.

Do you feel suddenly lonely and alone? You should be. We have no friends or allies…

Also know that there is a brain drain underway… Those that remain are being left for dead.

You and are are now like lepers.


Cal
 
The markets are only down moderately.

I hope we all know how alone we are in the world. No friends, no allies, and we will be living in isolation.

We now live in a large leper colony.

Cal
 
The markets turned south at the close to head into the red moderately.

Mortgage rates stay stuck at 7%.

Eventually things will catch up with the negative bias. Doesn’t seem to be happening yet, but I think some people are selling into the markets when they rally. This would explain the chop that is happening now.

Cal
 
Gold has a new Intra-Day High of $3069.90.

Fed-Ex delivery came today. Lots of guitar parts.

Not bad to have on hand the stockpile I need for those bodies that later will need paint when the weather is good.

They predict 80 degrees Saturday, but it will be rainy.

Cal
 
Gold’s new Intra-Day High is $3124.40. Pretty much a breakout is happening as inflation certainty takes hold along with the uncertainty of tariffs and a trade war.

When will $4K gold happen?

Be glad if you own physical gold or even gold miners. Silver by many reports will also follow gold, and silver is also an industrial metal. Pretty much insurance, but yesterday’s and today’s surge is a trigger point.

Meanwhile in the Pre-Markets again a mild red screen. A pattern is emerging where any rally is sold into and taken down, and a trading day at the close ends down. Pretty much an unloading of positions of U.S. equities.

So the leper effect is happening. We isolated ourselves, but now we are being isolated by others. The flight of capitol might cause interest rate hikes and of course this makes business more expensive.

“Maggie” reports that there is also a brain drain happening in Universities, in science, and in research facilities. Not good.

It was also a great day with the grandkids. What wonderful children.

Cal
 
When you expand a gold chart to the 1-year and then the 3-year it becomes obvious that the price of gold started ramping up in January 2025. Pretty much this was in anticipation of Trump Tariff Policies.

Whether it was inflation or destabilization banks and others bought the hedge. Pretty much the charts are showing that this might just be the start of something that coincides with the Trump inauguration.

BTW $3K gold was kinda predicted perhaps/maybe at the end of 2025, not in the first quarter.

Gold is looked upon as insurance when things go south, and south it seems is like where we are heading.

Cal
 
Canadian men have a life span 5 years longer than American men. Their lifespan compare to that of the U.K.

So we already are slipping lower towards more third-world.

Cal
 
The major indexes are displaying a red screen and the DOW is down close to 500 points. Meanwhile gold is going sideways around $3.1K. I expect some basing sideways for gold a while before another jump or leg up. Know that around 8:00 AM Gold “gapped” higher. Someone was covering a position, perhaps a short maybe.

Gapping up is a very bullish signal…

Smart Money sold into rally’s earlier in the week…

The PCE came in a bit higher than expected. Inflation is alive and well, and this is before the expected increases in tariffs have any effect which have not trickled into the economy yet.

Pretty much you can expect inflation to worsen sooner or later, and realize that it takes time for this to happen. A delayed effect is normal.

Businesses are in a bit of a fog created by all the uncertainty. Economists are saying that consumers are in good shape. I disagree… there is too much household debt, and households are living on credit…

So the ruin in the future is in play, but there is a delay. Also looks like the FED will have to delay any rate decrease because of fear of fueling inflation. This will deepen and worsen any recession that seems to be looming.

So who makes money in a recession, and a down economy? People with excess capitol; people that have cash stockpiled (Warren Buffet); people who own physical gold (Banksters), and perhaps people who have no or very manageable levels of debt.

Pretty much while debt enslaves the masses, a group of people will really exploit bargain pricing from the wreckage and ruin.

An example is the hedge funds that bought up real estate at bargain prices in 2007-2008, worsening the current housing shortage, and making those homes rentals for big sustained profits.

Rinse-repeat…

Separately there are enough droughts to kinda point towards another “Dust Bowl.” Bad farming practices, clear cutting, and mega farms are recreating history where dust storms are returning. Pretty much we are expanding deserts. New Mexico is in a drought and pretty much a tinder box awaiting future wild fires.

Like China, bad policy is to blame. China is not the only country self-inflicting wounds.

Mucho dumb…

Reminder, “People voted for this…”

Cal
 
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Back in 2008 we saw a lot of copper being stolen from houses here in Philly. I fear the desperation to come will be much worse and longer lived.
Phil
 
Phil,

Copper currently is a red hot commodity: record prices. The copper shortage is not going away anytime soon. At this point it is kinda going to be a “strategic” metal.

American’s don’t have any clue about the poverty that awaits us.

My spin is debt is akin to slavery. It makes me mad when I think about how taxpayers took on the debt/losses and effectively Wall Street losses were “Socialized” in 2007-2008.

The protected class, the top 20% of earners, were as defined, meaning protected.

In my book taxation without representation.

BTW what happened in 2007-2008 is not capitolism.

In China they are preventing loses from their own real estate crisis. We similarly did the same. Pretty much kicked the can down the road where it will appear again.

“Moo,” said the Pig.

I kinda expect some third world resemblance here. Might have to buy a shotgun and load it with alternating rounds of slugs and shot. I’m not a survivalist BTW, but I’m being pragmatic.

Cal
 
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