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OMG - It's That Time of the Year!!!
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Socke
Guest
Once in a year? How nice! As a business we have to pay taxes in advance until the 15th of each month :-(
dazedgonebye
Veteran
By horrible coincidence, I'm just loading TurboTax. I've waited this long because I'm certain I'll owe and there's never any hurry to pay those guys.
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tedwhite
Guest
I recall Steve Martin's skit, years ago:
How to avoid paying income taxes:
First, don't pay them.
Second, when the IRS agents knock on you door and ask
why you haven't paid your taxes...
Two little Words: I forgot.
How to avoid paying income taxes:
First, don't pay them.
Second, when the IRS agents knock on you door and ask
why you haven't paid your taxes...
Two little Words: I forgot.
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ch1
Guest
tedwhite said:
Ted,
I suggested this to my wife (she, with an assist from TurboTax, does the tax returns). She reminded me that I'd have limited venues for picture taking if I were residing in the Leaveanworth Fed Pen! 😱
dazedgonebye
Veteran
Taxes done...
Uncle Sugar is going to want another $2,500 or so out of my hide in the next 30 days.
Ain't that grand?
Uncle Sugar is going to want another $2,500 or so out of my hide in the next 30 days.
Ain't that grand?
Sonnar Brian
Established
Have kids. You won't owe money to the IRS.
Just everyone else.
Just everyone else.
dazedgonebye
Veteran
Brian Sweeney said:
If that were only true...I have 2 little tax deductions...and at the same time 2 few.
back alley
IMAGES
i already got my pitiful tax return and spent it.
🙂
🙂
dazedgonebye
Veteran
back alley said:
Your government would like to thank you for the interest free use of your money.
JoeFriday
Agent Provacateur
Top Ten Ways To Annoy An I.R.S. Agent
10. Instead of I.R.S., pronounce it "IRS"
9. Whenever he starts using his calculator, start yelling out a bunch of numbers.
8. Tape all your receipts up into a giant ball and then whip it at his head.
7. Pour a jar of honey on your W-2, let a bear loose in his office.
6. Be Leona Helmsley.
5. Tell him: "You know who makes a lot of money? That Oprah."
4. Keep saying, "1040, good buddy!"
3. Whenever he disallows a deduction, say "Oh, Mr. Gotti isn't going to like that..."
2. List his wife under "entertainment expenses."
1. Keep yelling "Hey, audit this!"
10. Instead of I.R.S., pronounce it "IRS"
9. Whenever he starts using his calculator, start yelling out a bunch of numbers.
8. Tape all your receipts up into a giant ball and then whip it at his head.
7. Pour a jar of honey on your W-2, let a bear loose in his office.
6. Be Leona Helmsley.
5. Tell him: "You know who makes a lot of money? That Oprah."
4. Keep saying, "1040, good buddy!"
3. Whenever he disallows a deduction, say "Oh, Mr. Gotti isn't going to like that..."
2. List his wife under "entertainment expenses."
1. Keep yelling "Hey, audit this!"
W
wtl
Guest
Not to make you all feel bad, I seem to have about 2 grands that uncle owes me. But then my calculation skill is so bad I won't get excited just yet.
Anything to sell?
Anything to sell?
JoeFriday
Agent Provacateur
how much plasma do you need?
Sonnar Brian
Established
I have a list of people that I owe blood to. But I got at least a pint out of them, and some of them two pints, first.
I don't know Brett, I have a little questionnaire for you before I take your blood.
Are you a Virgin?
Just to get this back on track, I wonder if the IRS could give out surplus cameras for refunds instead of Checks? Take depreciated value on the cameras. You know, next to area 51 and Hangar 18, there is a camera shop that was sealed up in 1962...
I don't know Brett, I have a little questionnaire for you before I take your blood.
Are you a Virgin?
Just to get this back on track, I wonder if the IRS could give out surplus cameras for refunds instead of Checks? Take depreciated value on the cameras. You know, next to area 51 and Hangar 18, there is a camera shop that was sealed up in 1962...
Last edited by a moderator:
dazedgonebye
Veteran
I'm sorry that I owe them $2,500, but I'd actually be sorrier if they owe'd it to me.
I just have an alergic reaction to my money in their hands all year long.
That said, I just upped the amount of my withholding to get it a bit closer next year.
I just have an alergic reaction to my money in their hands all year long.
That said, I just upped the amount of my withholding to get it a bit closer next year.
JoeFriday
Agent Provacateur
do you mean, have I ever seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show?Brian Sweeney said:
jan normandale
Film is the other way
Brian & Brett.. have a valium.. next... have a triple martini... you'll feel better in 30 min guaranteed.
FrankS
Registered User
I'm done! This is the first time I can ever remember not dropping off the return at the psot office just before 11:59 of the last day. I'm usually a last minute guy. $700 coming back, to the household. Not play money unfortunately.
JoeFriday
Agent Provacateur
but I wanna wine!
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tedwhite
Guest
Last year I figured my taxes. Owed $751. Girlfriend mentioned this to her sister in Boston. Sister says, Oh, that can't be right. Besides, he's an ex-English professor. What's he know about numbers? I'll tell you what he knows: zip, zilch, nada. Tell him to go to Staples and get Tax Cut. Costs ten bucks.
So I did. Stuck the little CD in and entered all the numbers. Gurgle, gurgle, for a minute or so. Your tax return's all done, it said, print it out. Instead of owing $751 I got $435 back. I love girlfriend's sister in Boston.
I thought if the IRS came after me I'd say, Look, H&R Block put this thing out. I just did what they said. But apparently HRB was right.
So I did. Stuck the little CD in and entered all the numbers. Gurgle, gurgle, for a minute or so. Your tax return's all done, it said, print it out. Instead of owing $751 I got $435 back. I love girlfriend's sister in Boston.
I thought if the IRS came after me I'd say, Look, H&R Block put this thing out. I just did what they said. But apparently HRB was right.
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