What software does one use for calibration?
It sounds like it would have to know the individual monitor and printer to make this work, which is hard for me to imagine.
It's not that complicated, from an end-user perspective, although the underlying technology is indeed pretty complex.
The notion is to calibrate and profile the display to a reference standard so that it becomes the reference that you can do your adjustments on. The display profile is device specific, your computer/graphic card/display only.
Once the display is calibrated and profiled, and the profile installed so that the system and all your image editing apps use it, the notion of a color managed workflow is that you use good printer profiles (usually supplied by the paper vendor) that matches the paper and printer to a reference calibration.
What happens then is that the image editing app, when you print, translates the settings you made to the image, and that you saw on the screen, into the correct color settings for the specific printer/inks/paper so that what comes out of the printer matches as closely as possible what you saw on the screen.
That's really all you need to understand unless you have a deep curiosity about the technology of digital color.
The software you use to calibrate and profile the display is usually included with the display calibration hardware package and automates most of the operation. OS X includes an all-software display calibration package in the System Preferences which works, but it's nowhere near as accurate or consistent as a hardware display calibration tool.
G