Spouse appreciation thread...

Roger Hicks said:
Frances has a theory that too many people go into marriage expecting to break up, and with unpleasant stereotypes about the opposite sex: "All men are..."/"All women are..." But none of us is "All men..." or "All women..." unless we buy into the same stereotypes. To avoid all relationships is to buy into those stereotypes and to deprive yourself of enormous potential happiness.
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I'm only young, and I've never been married, but this is the most important and truthful thing written in this entire thread to me. I see so many people that, before anything has even happened, write off the opposite sex as some sort of stereotype - women are only after guys with money, guys only after sex etc. I don't really understand it.

I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years now, and she's pretty damn awesome to me. Even with cameras! When it comes to marriage, I'm not interested in the slightest, and neither is she. It's too strange-a concept. Probably add to this that I won't allow a priest or any kind of christian religious leader anywhere near my personal life, let alone confirming or dictating to me what I can or can't do. You can't promise to love and care for someone for the rest of your life, and neither should you have to. I'm not going to plan to be with one person for as long as I live, but that's not to say that I wouldn't do that. You just gotta take it as it comes, and enjoy what you have now.

All IMO of course! 🙂
 
Roger Hicks said:
A further thought:

Although I'm in favour of marriage generally, there was an extra dimension for Frances and me. We HAD to get married. Not for the traditional reason, but because she's American and I'm British: two of the most arrogant, poisonous, unimaginative, suspicious and unpleasant immigration authorities in the world. 'Love' is not a concept they understand.
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Couldn't agree more re: the US. And to think it must be worse now, in the post-9/11 era.
 
kermaier said:
Holy crap! I had no irony in mind when I posted this. I just remembered having seen a poll here a while back about spouses attitudes toward photography. My impression of my wife's attitude was along the lines of "grudging tolerance, as long as the camera mostly stays pointed at our kids". I just wanted to update that with a shout-out of thanks for a thoughtful birthday present.

Folks, this makes me disappointed, and I'm now sorry I started the thread.

Is there a way for me to delete it?

Ari
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I think it's a great thread. Some (myself included) get it the way you intended it, some don't. That's life.

Too bad that Al Kaplan is no longer with us. We would have gotten the "happily divorced four times" (IIRC) perspective, as well 😀
 
Your thread can be deleted, check with a MOD. However, I see no reason. Sit back and look at the sour responses and be doubly glad!

I too have been married almost 33 years. I wouldn't trade my wife for anything. We don't agree on everything, not many people do. But we love each other and tolerate each others good and bad points. She cares nothing for my photography except enjoyment of some of the photos I take. She doesn't understand the process of getting them. But she tolerates that because she knows I enjoy it. I am the same with her. We enjoy each other's company. We are in love.

What more to ask?
 
batterytypehah! said:
Couldn't agree more re: the US. And to think it must be worse now, in the post-9/11 era.
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We were married in the UK in '82; moved to California in '87; and moved back to the UK in '92. On our return from California Frances was not allowed to apply for UK citizenship for 4 years (i.e. until '96) in case it was a marriage of convenience...

Then again, when I went out to collect her in winter 81/82, La Migra in LA found it impossible to believe that she was going to the UK in order to get married. They were convinced that I was going to stay in California with her...

@fdigital: "I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years now, and she's pretty damn awesome to me. . . . I'm not going to plan to be with one person for as long as I live, but that's not to say that I wouldn't do that. You just gotta take it as it comes, and enjoy what you have now."

I'd take it a little further and say that most decent people do plan/hope it will work out in the long run -- my parents met in their early-to-mid 'teens, were married at 21 and 20, and were together until my mother died just after their silver wedding -- but you also have to accept that it may not work out. My first long-term relationship was 4 years (18-22 -- the first Leica I ever used was hers); my second, about the same (26-30); and I'm now on the third...

Cheers,

R.
 
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Me and my wife have a funny way to give each other a birthday present. She will tell me first a list of things that she really would like to have and how much each of them costs. Then we discuss about it many many times over the dinner and finally she decides one thing from the list and I'll pay for it. Then the same procedure happens when I have my birthday and I get to wish an item that costs approximately the same amount and she'll pay for it.

That's how I got my Leica. She got a Prada bag.
 
Mablo said:
Me and my wife have a funny way to give each other a birthday present. She will tell me first a list of things that she really would like to have and how much each of them costs. Then we discuss about it many many times over the dinner and finally she decides one thing from the list and I'll pay for it. Then the same procedure happens when I have my birthday and I get to wish an item that costs approximately the same amount and she'll pay for it.

That's how I got my Leica. She got a Prada bag.
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Since my wife finds my chronic GAS to be ridiculous (at best), when I see a particular object of desire I sometimes half-joke "if you ever want to get me a really nice [camera, bag, lens, whatever] I want this." Turns out she was actually listening! Go figure.... I guess I'll talk up the M9 some more. 😉

Ari
 
kermaier said:
Holy crap! I had no irony in mind when I posted this. I just remembered having seen a poll here a while back about spouses attitudes toward photography. My impression of my wife's attitude was along the lines of "grudging tolerance, as long as the camera mostly stays pointed at our kids". I just wanted to update that with a shout-out of thanks for a thoughtful birthday present.

Folks, this makes me disappointed, and I'm now sorry I started the thread.

Is there a way for me to delete it?
Ari
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I had the same thought as I read this thread. [Sarcasm] What interesting lives others live! [/sarcasm]

Congrats on the nice bag, the happy birthday, and the sweet wife you have!

To get rid of thread, simply delete the original post... the rest will follow! (I read that somewhere on the internet! HA HA!)
 
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kermaier said:
Holy crap! I had no irony in mind when I posted this. I just remembered having seen a poll here a while back about spouses attitudes toward photography. My impression of my wife's attitude was along the lines of "grudging tolerance, as long as the camera mostly stays pointed at our kids". I just wanted to update that with a shout-out of thanks for a thoughtful birthday present.

Folks, this makes me disappointed, and I'm now sorry I started the thread.

Is there a way for me to delete it?

Ari
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Hi Ari,

I'm sorry I opened my mouth... Anyway, I guess it's my reality what I talked about, so I couldn't have done it any other way, And I didn't want to be silent either, and now the thread can hold future members' opinions in both ways... I have always been fond of marriage and kids, That's why I went through both things, and I have always admired and loved women with all my heart... It seems that I just lost my mind every time and fell in love with the wrong ones... I feel now I can't trust women, but who knows? Maybe one day I'll be able to fall in love again... Sometimes I think only then I'd feel happy again... Please don't delete this thread... We could even see here, in a few years, members changing their opinions from A to B and from B to A...

Cheers,

Juan
 
Love can be a tricky thing. Some have bad luck while others make bad choices. I have done both but I now have a wonderful wife that I love dearly. She encourages my photography and that makes me a very lucky guy. Sure we don’t always agree but she is fantastic in my eyes for many other reasons. She knows that I have a lot of cameras and lenses, however; it’s a good thing that she doesn’t know the exact number or the total investment value and I am not going to tell.
 
I was married once and it ended badly after trying to make it work for a decade. The whole relationship was kinda lopsided and I lost a lot. It was about as bad as it gets.

Now I live in sin, never intend to get married again, but I have been with the same woman for the past twelve years.

I got it pretty lucky. Maggie is extreamely low maintenance and she puts up with me. We have seperate interests, but over the years we have grown together sharing our differant but seperate lives.

I spoil her and she spoils me. Last year we went to the PhotoPlusExpo at the Javits Center. She really isn't interested in photography at all, and in fact she gave me her Nikon F3HP because she doesn't use it. When I showed her the new Leica M9 she said, "If you want one, I'll buy you one, after I pay for my daughter's wedding." (She was aware of the price.)

I'm a lucky guy who is happy with the gear I have. I don't need a M9 BTW.

Soon we will move so I can have a darkroom to print.

Cal
 
Love my divorce attorney, love my fiance (she bought me this scooter bag!). Getting remarried in October.

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