I think the perception as a tourist is very different than living here. I've been here four years now, and that's long enough to get a good grip on the situation here. As a tourist, I think Bostonians are helpful. If you ask someone for directions, they'll give them to you. Cabbies are chatty. If all you do is go to back bay, it can seem great. Living here though, it's very tough. People are very reserved and seem to stay in their own particular circle. People have told me anecdotally that it can take years to make friends here. And they don't really do acquaintances, so it can be very difficult to get to know someone, to break through this shell. It's tough to connect with people in this way. You can talk to someone and there's literally no expression on their face. It's very strange, especially coming from Philly where people actually emote. I agree that NYC is friendlier.
You can know somebody for years here and they'll never dole out basic information. Most of my friends aren't from here or moved away for a while and got de-bostonized. I'm not a person who has ever had problems making friends.
As far as rudeness goes, it seems more like a lack of self-awareness (some would call that manners). People never hold the door for anybody, and basic communications are at a minimum. There's a general workman-like attitude combined with a puritanical hangover that just makes people cold.
One more rant. If you're a contemporary, creative person, Boston isn't for you. This city doesn't foster creativity, and despite an abundance of art schools, most graduates leave for greener pastures. There are great institutionalized arts stuff here (museums, operas, galleries, theaters), but there's not a ton of great local work going on, unless you like paintings of boats. The city seems to be primarily financial companies, insurance and a lot of biotech. Smart people for sure, but not people I always want to hang out with. For a city with such a liberal heritage, you'd be hard-pressed to find modern thinking in its populace.
The university communities tend to stay within themselves.
Obviously, I'm stereotyping and everything I wrote isn't true about everybody. There are some good people here, if you can find them. But I feel kinda hoodwinked by Boston. It seems great on the surface, but underneath it's still the same fishing town it was 200 years ago, or even the same puritanical village it was 400 years ago.
