The photo library that can't be enjoyed..

[Linkert]

Here we go, personal and harsh story.

Every time I open up my library, select the 'Positives' folder and scroll through 5–10~ (~250px width previews) of the most recent scans I start to experience a rather uncomfortable gut feeling. I move past a few photos more and it gets even harder. I can stand it for a good 10 minutes, but no more than that.

It's called being 'recently dumped'.

Same old, one year and a bit, all seem fine. Then, all of a sudden you get the classic; "I've lost my feelings for you, everything has been wonderful. You're great!" – Night before "Love you.", ouff, it's harsh. Most people have experienced it and get through it, I'll do to.

The reason I bring this up, like this, on here, is because I have never seen anyone try to explain this 'thing' that probably most everyone of you photography enthusiasts have experienced at one point or another.

I have loads of work to do as I have moved only the original files to Pixa from Aperture. All on purpose to force my self to redo all the cropping, levels and such. But I can't get started because of all the pictures of my now, ex-girlfriend.

Thoughts?

 

[NY_Dan]

You're 24, you're supposed to feel this way. Try to use your emotional energy constructively. It's the old better to find out now rather than later story. And you will feel better, and you'll look back on this and be amused. As for the pics of the old girlfriend if she's hot keep'em to brag about when you're my age, and if not, well keep'em anyway to prove you were a humanitarian who valued personality. And if they're nudes, post'em now! 24 is 10 years too soon to settle down anyway! As a 60 year-old comedian once said, "my next wife hasn't even been born yet!"

 

[Paul Jenkin]

At the age of 24, assuming you're not a statistical anomaly, you're about a third of the way through your likely residence on this little green and blue planet.

From personal experience, as a 53 year old, I can tell you that my mind still feels like an 18/20 year old in many respects) but with the memories - good and bad - of relationships and acquaintances I've made down the years. Memory fades. Time passes. You change. That's life.

It's not about not caring that you've loved and lost but we all have to shovel a lot of sh*t before we find gold nuggets and diamonds - assuming we ever find any at all. Life comes with no guarantees and it's not fitted with a safety net. Sometimes you're a bug. Other times your a windscreen.

Value the experience as you should learn from it. Lots of opportunities out there....

 

[Linkert]

I'm aware of my age and the good old; "time heals all wounds". It sure does, at least the emotional ones. Not much of a buddhist but I do like their doctrine on impermanence. All change, constantly, always.

Was not looking for comfort really, more response on experience with the same kind of situation. Dumped, photo library with regular everyday pictures of your ex, kind of hard to just scroll through it.

Just thought it was an interesting situation where I find my self at home about to get going with the editing, but can't stand all the memories and have to quit. Have you experienced the same situation and noticed it? Good, did you deal with it, how? Did it work? Did you have a full year with no real joyful experience when opening up your library and maybe less to no photo walking?

Share, it's a rather specific thing that just happens and this time I actually noticed it, peculiar 🙂

 

[nomadia]

zip the digital files, store the film negatives away, make paper prints and tear them up for catharsis.

 

[Paul Jenkin]

Yes, divorced (twice) neither my fault (genuinely though I won't bore you with the details), two disabled parents, both now dead from long-term, debilitating illnesses (again, nothing valuable in the detail). Now very happily married to a wonderful woman - but I'm 53 and feeling a lot older. Do we "deal" with these things? I don't know. I just seemed to put my head down and grind my way through it as that's all I could think to do. The alternative was a long jump off a short length of rope.

I was unlucky in that I had no siblings and, through career moves, found myself a long way from "home" with little of a support network. You really find out who your friends are in such circumstances.

Time is a great healer, if you let it be.