What not to do at a wedding

[ClaremontPhoto]

Well done mate.

Did you have sex with a bridesmaid? That is traditional you know.

 

[Ash]

Thanks 🙂

I actually used to work with one of the bridesmaids. She worked at ASDA, and she's still with the same boyfriend years later. As for the other two, they weren't so attractive. I had to scoot off to an RAF/cadets ball that I was invited to. I had my share of flirting with the ladies there instead 😉

 

[ClaremontPhoto]

Wow, one from ASDA, and then you went to the RAF ball. You west country boys know how to have a good time.

It brings back memories of when I was eighteen and spent a few weeks or months in Warminster.

 

[Andy K]

Something you definitely should not do at a wedding is return the bride's knickers during the vows.

 

[bmattock]

i think the worst thing i ever did at a wedding was ...to get married.

a few times...a few weddings...🙂

joe

Now I believe you when you say you're poor. Took me two times, but I think I got it right, finally. Oh, and that time with the circus animals, but we won't talk about that now.

Best Regards,

Bill Mattocks

 

[FrankS]

Joe, Bill, and myself, several times married. Anyone else?

 

[ClaremontPhoto]

Something you definitely should not do at a wedding is return the bride's knickers during the vows.

Thank you Andy. I had never thought about that.

If I was the groom could I return her mother's panties part way through the ceremony do you think?

 

[BrianShaw]

Oh, and that time with the circus animals, but we won't talk about that now.

'animals'... plural?

 

[dmr]

If there's one thing that has to be more stressful than being the bride at a formal wedding, it has to be being the photographer.

I've never shot a wedding, and I don't intend to, not in this life. I want to keep my friends! 🙂

However, whenever I see somebody's wedding photos, I can't help but think to myself along the line of "Oh {expletive}, I know I can do better than that!" They're almost always cliche' shots. Even things like the eternal gaze superimposed on the champagne glass and the all B&W except for the bouquet are becoming trite.

It has to be a very lucrative business, tho ... The last wedding I attended (a couple months ago) was a semiformal ceremony in a Las Vegas Chapel. The photographer (probably under contract to the chapel) used a nondescript DSLR of some kind with a grenade-launcher zoom lens and a rube-goldbergish strobe frame with a rather small flash. The photos were very "ok" but nothing spectacular or imaginative, all cliches, and although I don't know the exact amount, I was told it was several hundred.

Oh well ...

 

[Socke]

No, 46 and turning 47 in august and still not married.

Once saw a bumper sticker:

Man is incomlet until he's married, then he's finished.

 

[ClaremontPhoto]

'animals'... plural?

I saw something on the web today, from a good news source, about a guy who had died in this situation with a horse.

I'd stick with bridesmaids, sisters and the mother - nice and traditional.

 

[Andy K]

It is also not wise during his speech to inform the groom your herpes test was positive.

 

[bmattock]

'animals'... plural?

Sung to the tune of 'Eric, the Half-a-Bee'.

Best Regards,

Bill Mattocks

 

[BrianShaw]

I saw something on the web today, from a good news source, about a guy who had died in this situation with a horse.

I'd stick with bridesmaids, sisters and the mother - nice and traditional.

Bridesmaids and sisters, maybe, but not the mother... never the mother!

 

[BrianShaw]

Sung to the tune of 'Eric, the Half-a-Bee'.

OMG, Bill... that's a real song!

http://www.geocities.com/fang_club/Eric_half_bee.html

 

[back alley]

Joe, Bill, and myself, several times married. Anyone else?

a new poll?

noooooooo!

😉

 

[bmattock]

OMG, Bill... that's a real song!

http://www.geocities.com/fang_club/Eric_half_bee.html

Strange coincidence? You be the judge.

But, "I'll bet you they won't play this song on the radio."

Best Regards,

Bill Mattocks

 

[Dougg]

Volker there may still be hope for you yet, though you've lasted longer than I! Around age 28 I decided to start looking to settle down, but it took me to age 36 to find the right gal.

 

[back alley]

No, 46 and turning 47 in august and still not married.

Once saw a bumper sticker:

Man is incomlet until he's married, then he's finished.

you sir, are a true hero!

never been married?
i only wish i could have figured out how to be like that.

joe

 

[jlw]

never been married?
i only wish i could have figured out how to be like that.

I used to think women weren't interested in me because of my crooked teeth, but eventually I concluded it was really because I'm drab, tedious and uninteresting. It's hell on the self-esteem, but saved me a small fortune on orthodontia.