Calzone
Gear Whore #1
- Local time
- 11:08 PM
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2008
- Messages
- 16,873
- Location
- The Gateway To The Hudson Highlands
Calzone Klein???
MFM,
My friend Doug, calls me Klein because of my first name.
A few years back Calvin Klein produced these T-shirts with the name CALVIN imprinted on them, and some said "CALVIN New York." So I go to Bloomingdales and I luckily find a rack of these shirts that are being closed out.
The salesperson thought it was mucho cool that my name is actually Calvin and that I was rebranding.
Later I put my spin on the rebranding and I say, "I'm just hiding in plain sight," when I wear these T-shirts.
Back in the mid 70's I went into my neighborhood bakery in the burbs. The girl behind the counter was hysterical because the place had just been robbed. She told me to go look for the guy with the hat who just left. Of course I responded, but I did not know that the robber had a gun. Oh-well, being a hero is actually pretty dumb.
The cops interviewed me because I saw a guy with a hat getting into a car, and I had the plate number.
It was around Christmas and we were in a recession caused by the oil crisis: double-digit inflation; and double-digit unemployment. The cop explained to me that the perp was likely just a guy with kids who was down on his luck and had no money for Christmas.
The moral of this story is decades later I found this blue-collar work shirt that had the name Alex embroidered on it, and I called it my bank robber shirt. Since I'm a self-proclaimed drama queen and always was, I figured I was wearing a disguise that would cause confusion.
Not only heroes are kinda dumb, but so are criminals.
Anyways there were three times before I was 18 when I could of been shot, and the other two times I had guns drawn on me by the NYPD. Once I was profiled and mistakenly could of been shot like a black man; the other was when the NYPD stormed a McDonalds that I was working at that was getting robbed by 4 guys with guns. This is all pre SWAT Teams and the cops used revolvers. One of the perps luckily had the contents of the safe in a cardboard box in his hands, and the gun was on top of the cash. The perp was also standing right behind me, so if shots were fired I likely would have been ventilated. Also could have been a hostage...
The seventies were an interesting time of living dangerously. They only captured two of the four perps. Earlier when one of the two managers saw a perp leave went to the door and opened it to I guess look at the possible getaway car, and I heard a gunshot. Hector the other store manager was in the back getting pistol-whipped because he would not open the safe. Meanwhile, I'm in the front working as a cashier, and my friends Danny and Gil were in the back cooking burgers.
It was kinda surreal that the customers knew we were being robbed, but still lined up to place their orders, meanwhile in the back burger production was going downhill. Things in the front with the customers were getting mucho crazy. Angry customers wanted to know, "Where are my burgers and fries." Pretty much I mentioned we are in the process of being robbed by 4 gunmen and that you just have to be patient.
When the cops came I heard the command freeze, everyone hit the floor around me, and it seemed like I was the only person listening because other than the cops who came in through all the entrances I seemed to be the only one standing. Pretty much the dumb criminal if he crouched down would have had the counter as a place of cover.
So the guy who stood behind me when cuffed and detained by a cop, took a beating when Hector jumped the counter, threw the perp to the floor, and repeatedly kicked him in the head like in soccer where there is a penalty shot. This went on for some time, until the cop in a rather kind and gentle voice said, "That's enough," but the way he expressed "That's enough," was as if he was saying, "Just one more time, so make it count."
So this also reminds me about my friend Norman who was black and suggested that crime pays pretty well, and the idea if you are a criminal that if you steal, steal big. Norm cited the 6 million in cash that was stolen at JFK that obviously was an inside job that did not get resolved. Norm said the problem is that the risk versus the reward for committing a petty crime is not worth it, so decades before Mark Cuban said, "Go big: or don't go." Norm said, "If you steal: steal big." Also, I credit Norm with the wisdom, "Crime-Pays."
How did I become an old man? LOL.
So at work, I tell my boss How-Weird that I'm going to Citibank to hit an ATM. When I get back the building has been evacuated because of a fire alarm, and I don't see How-Weird (Howard is his real name) out in the street, so I disregard the procedure and enter the building and run downstairs to the bunker where the nuclear chemistry labs are and the Cyclotron Vault.
I see How-Weird standing in front of an open cabinet holding a CO2 extinguisher, and there is an electrical fire. Nearby a PhD scientist is just standing there and so is his technician. I grab another fire extinguisher and tell Howard that CO2 is safe for electrical fires and all fires, I pull the pin on the fire extinguisher that I'm holding and tell him that if needed another fire extinguisher is right behind him.
I tell the two men just standing there to not leave Howard alone, and that I'm getting the keys to the utility room to kill the breaker that is feeding the cabinet.
I have read reports that in WWII new troops fresh out of boot camp kinda froze and did not return fire when being shot at, 3 out of 4 froze and did not respond by shooting back. I don't think I am or was a hero. Truth be told, I was the only one who responded out of 4 of us. How-Weird could not think. Every year we get trained and regrilled on how to respond to a fire. It was not lack of training, but a lack of thinking.
Also know there was a lack of thinking on my part too. Truth be told I did not follow the procedure either, and I forgot all about the years of annual training. The funny thing is that How-Weird is not a kid, a loved one, or someone I respect or like, in fact, I even have reason to hate him. Later that day I took ownership of not following the procedure, and I told Howard that next time "I will leave you for dead."
What was I thinking?
Cal