An awakening!!

[deerstalkr]

Dear Ducky,

Like all the rest on the forum, I am really sorry for your loss. My sense is that most of the RFF community are people who are close to their families, and can especially empathize with the heartbreak you are going through.

Regarding your photography, it certainly is a falsehood when you say your photos are lousy - this is a great picture, and there are many others in your gallery.

Now here's the key point - if you had no ability you would not recognize faults in your work. Saying it is 'all crap' is depression talking. You are seeing only fault.

Cocteau said "The first step to create something good is to possess the capacity to recognize what's bad" - or something like that in French. Wait a month, and then take another look at your photos. Pick one that pisses you off and write down what you don't like about it. Ask the experienced folks on RFF for advice if there is something you don't know how to approach.

In short, you should take the opposite approach. Don't abandon what you've done, give yourself a break if you need to, and then commit yourself fully.

All the best,

Randy

I would like to share a somewhat crude quote in addition to the wonderful advice Randy has given.

"Write as much crap as you can because crap is the best fertiliser."

It is a paraphrased quote by Pat Pattison, a professor who teaches lyric writing and poetry at Berklee College of Music. He is a fantastic teacher, and I've only experienced his teachings through his books! I'll be attending a seminar this weekend and he'll be teaching my class next week.

It looks like you're surrounded by good friends on RFF.

 

[Livesteamer]

There is no easy way to deal with the loss of a loved one. My wife and I are getting older and have lost all our parents and most of our aunts and uncles.

One common theme we have seen from the widows is "Grab your friends and Go!." Stay active. I think your wife would want you to carry on and if no one else is around, post here and talk to us.

Blessings and Strength,

Joe

 

[isoterica]

Ducky I am sorry for your loss. It is never easy looking through a loved ones possessions or photographs but perhaps resolve to make your decision at a later date. Nothing right now will be easy or make you smile. The photographs, they aren't always about art.. they are about memories too. They can't bring her back but they can be a comfort.

 

[helen.HH]

Very Sorry Dear Ducky to hear of your Tragic Loss
Breaks my Heart to think of You Alone
But will take Comfort in the athought that
She is Watching Over You

Lots of Good Thoughts & Advice here...

Travel does seem like a Good Idea...
But Hold off on parting with anything

With Love & Good Cheer- H

 

[seakayaker1]

Many thanks, everybody, I appreciate the comments.
I have not seen or heard from anyone since the funeral, except family. Maybe they are the virtual friends and you guys are more real than they are. However, I will give them, like everything else, time.

I often think that death just plain frightens people and they have a hard time dealing with their own shortcomings.

At least in the sense that we can feel uncomfortable in expressing ourselves with those that are in mourning and going through the grieving process. A fear that we may say or do the wrong thing.

Certainly having family and friends to speak with and share memories is a great comfort. My own experience is some folks are pretty good at it and some just are plain uncomfortable.

It appears that you have many friends that you have connected with here at RFF.


If your travels ever take you to Seattle and would like to take a walk to talk and shoot some photographs please feel free to drop a line.

We do have a an active group of SLUG's (Seattle Leica Users Group) and may be able to pull together some others as well.

My condolences on your loss and do hope you find peace and happiness in the days ahead.

 

[Damaso]

I think you just have room to grow. Just because you have reached a certain level doesn't mean you have to stay there. After the next few weeks you will likely have a lot of time on your hands, why not devote it to getting your photography where you want it to be?

With the passing of my wife last month the responsibility was mint to sort through stuff. File after file, drawer after drawer, closet after closet.
I found myself flipping through my photographs over a 40 year period. They were not very good and worse, I have not really improved.
I think I may pack it in. I have lawyers and travel for the next few weeks . Unless I change my mind, look for a few cameras in the classifieds.

Just a vent, I wonder if this is a common feeling after reviewing so much past work.

 

[xxloverxx]

Think about it this way — any photos, however bad they may have seemed then and seem now, are still able to remind you of events in life that might never happen again.

I sometimes get that feeling…I got it a few days ago. End-of-year routine, look over past photos and reflect a bit…wondered if I'd improved at all, then I reminded myself that the purpose of me doing photography at all is to record the things I see and the life I live so that I can look back in later years.

Also, you have to consider the situational side of it — it's hard to say whether you've really "improved" unless you visit the same places every year and live a life without changes.

 

[FrankS]

Photo gear is just stuff that one can buy and sell. If you in a financial situation where you can easily replace any gear you might sell, then go ahead and sell it. If you change your mind about this at a later date, just buy whatever gear you think you need then. If this is not likely to be easy in a financial sense, then think twice about selling it because you may change your mind.