back alley
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Vancouver (Reuters)
Day 2 - Vancouver Blizzard 2005 - Revenge of the Commuters
Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today,
as an additional ¼ centimetre of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing
the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of
damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is
some form of frozen water particles and experts from Alberta are
being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite
near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes
before venturing out.
Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for
emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them
through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire
reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.
Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have
been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive,
although most have no idea how to use it.
Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast
implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority
reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25
below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op.
"The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. "I
didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be
treated like someone from Toronto."
Day 2 - Vancouver Blizzard 2005 - Revenge of the Commuters
Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today,
as an additional ¼ centimetre of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing
the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of
damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is
some form of frozen water particles and experts from Alberta are
being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite
near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes
before venturing out.
Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for
emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them
through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire
reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.
Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have
been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive,
although most have no idea how to use it.
Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast
implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority
reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25
below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op.
"The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. "I
didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be
treated like someone from Toronto."
jan normandale
Film is the other way
Jeez Joe
we're in the middle of an election here. This kind of thing could lead to one more province wanting to separate first it was Quebec, then Alberta, could BC be next?? Fortunately you used the key word to unify Canadians... Toronto... everyone is in agreement on that place. LOL ;-)
Great piece , who wrote it? You?
btw ; whadda ya think of my new avatar? Spiffy duds hun?
we're in the middle of an election here. This kind of thing could lead to one more province wanting to separate first it was Quebec, then Alberta, could BC be next?? Fortunately you used the key word to unify Canadians... Toronto... everyone is in agreement on that place. LOL ;-)
Great piece , who wrote it? You?
btw ; whadda ya think of my new avatar? Spiffy duds hun?
F
Frank Granovski
Guest
Oh, how true, how true. Hey---! Yesterday our transit/Skytrain cops started carrying guns. Hehe. I give 'er a few more days before one goes off. 