Critique #45 *Open Theme* 5 Participants

[formal]

raid amin
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I like the abstract nature of the patterns in the bottom half of the image. I feel that the top half has too much concrete detail which distracts from the abstract nature of the rest of the image.


AusDLK
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A good composition and I like the way all the people seem to be daydreaming. The "GE" on the left keeps drawing my eye out of the image and I find it a bit over sharpened.

ampguy
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I like the way the child is looking over the magazine. However, the rest of the image is very "mundane" and it has the impression of a family snapshot, but perhaps that's what you want. I don't like the date.

Dracotype
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I like the way the line of the building cuts the image into two parts and it has a pleasing range of tones. However, I don't like the way the window on the right and the doors at the bottom a cut off.

 

[ampguy]

critiques

critiques

Raid - the symmetry of the bricks, fence, and sidewalk, even lighing up with a corner of the church make for great lines in this image. I wonder if a wider lens which got more of the church might have worked. Staring at this for awhile, just makes me wonder what the whole scene looked like. Also, could it be overexposed a stop or two?

Formal - very interesting capture of divers in flight, I would like to see a non vertical shot of the same showing heads, and less water / trees.

ausDLK - good shot with the pillar and 3 people. I wonder if it could be stronger focusing in on just the 2 individuals on the left, or closer up on the girl with the ATM behind her. The "GE" letters at the left are a little distracting.

Dracotype - I like how the upper R corner has the 45 deg. angle of the bldg there. Interesting angle. Might be better if you captured either more lower or even to the R, the image just makes me want to see "more".

 

[AusDLK]

alternate "Mimes On A Break"

alternate "Mimes On A Break"

Thanks for your feedback. I tend to agree with many of your comments.

Sometimes I have been accused of over-cropping so I resisted cropping my original image more.

But I attached a revision that perhaps addresses some of your concerns.

Better or worse?

 

[ampguy]

Left side is better

Left side is better

Left side is much less distracting, but now with the ATM gone, and only half of the girl, the photo is still not clear, what is the relationship betweent he girl and 2 guys, is she hiding from them, is there a bus stop there? The bottom would be cleaner if the gutter were gone, if it's possible to crop to her tennis shoe tip.

Thanks for your feedback. I tend to agree with many of your comments.

Sometimes I have been accused of over-cropping so I resisted cropping my original image more.

But I attached a revision that perhaps addresses some of your concerns.

Better or worse?

 

[AusDLK]

new edit

new edit

I have reconsidered my first edit. I went back to the original scan and think this new version is closer to the vison I had when I clicked the shutter.

 

[ampguy]

Of all 3, I like this best

Of all 3, I like this best

Clearly puts the relaxing performer guys in the center, before I hadn't even noticed the guy smoking was wearing those wild boots.

On monitor, I tried cropping the left to make the pillar the border, but it doesn't work as well as this last image you posted. I'd leave it like that if it were my photo.

I have reconsidered my first edit. I went back to the original scan and think this new version is closer to the vison I had when I clicked the shutter.

 

[Dracotype]

Sorry for the delay. School has been closing in, and I have a few moments to spare, so here it is.

raid amin: Whoa! Lots of bright white. You have set up an interesting symmetry here in the photo. The two triangles touching at the tops and expanding outward. But, I think it could use some improvement. You either need to concentrate on the building (a church it looks like?), or emphasize the geometry and make it an abstract. It lacks power in my opinion. This is were I could see black and white having an advantage in this case.

formal: Certainly a neat photo, and dynamic. Two things, and these are personal things I think. First, where are the people's heads? I feel very disconnected from the people diving into the water. Second, I would have liked it if the dynamic nature of this shot could be differently framed. I guess I would like it a little more obvious that the two guys are going into the water.

AusDLK: I think that this could very easily be split into two photos. The girl in the foreground is also in sharper focus than the mimes in the background. I am not sure if this is intentional, and if your photo is about the mimes, then I would like them to be more in focus. Plus, why include the girl? Is she somehow related to the mimes in some way? Is she a mime? Etc.

ampguy: A very cute subject, and a very cute pose. I really like the idea behind this photo, but I have a few gripes. That couch has a really loud plaid pattern and well, it detracts. Another small point, is that you only have one eye of your subject, and I might like it if there were both eyes in the photo. A small personal preference. But a nice one for the album.

There it is.

Drew

 

[AusDLK]

Drew wrote: First, where are the people's heads?

I totally think that this image works because there are no heads. Otherwise it would just be a snapshot (albeit a very good one) of somebody's kid at a swim meet.

Without the heads it elevates the image to fine art quality.

 

[AusDLK]

>I think that this could very easily be split into two photos.

Drew -- Thanks for your comments. Did you see my "final cut" image? Do your comments apply to the original or my final revision? Or both?

 

[AusDLK]

To gabrielma: The photo was taken into the front door of the first building to the right of the St. Stephans Dom (as you look at it and across some relatively large number of meters of street) in the city center of Vienna.

 

[ampguy]

you know what

you know what

would even elevate this to Ultra Fine Art Quality?? If there were space for the heads, but still no heads... 😛

Drew wrote: First, where are the people's heads?

I totally think that this image works because there are no heads. Otherwise it would just be a snapshot (albeit a very good one) of somebody's kid at a swim meet.

Without the heads it elevates the image to fine art quality.

 

[AusDLK]

That amguy... he's a real wiseguy, eh...? 😉

 

[formal]

AusDLK,

I also like the last version of your image the best.

Thanks for the comments on my image. The horizontal crop gives a different feel to the image, but I like it.

Dracotype,

Sorry there are no heads.

David

 

[raid]

Thanks to everybody for their comments.

Raid

 

[Dracotype]

>I think that this could very easily be split into two photos.

Drew -- Thanks for your comments. Did you see my "final cut" image? Do your comments apply to the original or my final revision? Or both?

I was only referring to the original. I took a glance at the latest revision, and I think I would still ask why the girl is still included in the picture. There is no clear connection between her and the mimes. I would suggest, instead of cropping, becuase cropping will not solve the focusing issues, next time you shoot something like this, get closer. And don't think I am saying this to just you. My biggest complaint about many photos, is that they are good, but would be a lot better if the photographer had gotten closer. Myself included.

For the mime picture in particular, I think a verical format would be good, and a lot closer to the subjects as well. Emphasize them alone, in all their idiosyncracies.

Drew

 

[Dracotype]

Judging from most people's comments on my photo, I would guess that it was far too abstract? Or was it something else?

The original reason I was attracted to take this photo was the simplicity. The sky without clouds, the total abscence of humans, and their artifacts.

As for stories, I partly intended the title to convey some of that. But I guess that wasn't as effective as I thought. But thanks for the comments none the less.

Drew

 

[Dracotype]

Dracotype,

Sorry there are no heads.

David

😉

"The Headless Divers"

Amusing. 😀

Drew