Get married, divorce Leica?

[Benjamin Marks]

Dante:

A wedding is an event. A marriage is a process. The two have nothing to do with one another, as you will realize one year and one day into your marriage. Many things are required to make this process go smoothly. One of the prerequisites for happy spouses is that neither feels that he/she has given up too much to be with one special person. Keeping score: not particularly helpful. So: I do not think that you should give up core facets of your identity including the things that give you pleasure (particularly if, as you suggest, an addiction to photography gear is your one vice) just because you want to have a big party. If you need to part with one or two pieces of gear to pay for something special, by all means go for it. But if you are thinking of altering a major facet of your life substantially and permanently to pay for a wedding, I would advise against it (or more colloquially: you're nuts!).

Bemusedly and supportively,

Ben (celebrating 10 years of marriage this summer to a wonderful non-gearhead who dislikes having her photo made) Marks

 

[Sisyphus]

Just explain you don`t smake, drink, or chase other women. And this is all paid for.

I explain this to my wife on daily basis, but it doesn't work, and then she complains that what is the point since I never take any pictures of her or our daughter, which also isn't true, then when she sees the photos she is never pleased with how she looks, and blames me and my gear.

Have you considered giving her a nice little Leica as a wedding present? Then she can use your lenses when ever she likes ...

Never let your wife use your leica gear--she will contaminate it and your leica will feel that it was betrayed by you, then all of your exposures are out of whack.

Now for the rest of your dilemna, my recommendation is that you elope with all of your leica gear, travel to an exotic undisclosed location, open a bar, and spend the rest of your days photographing. I tried to convince my wife to let me do this, while supporting me, just until my bar got off the gorund, but it didn't go over very well.

I agree with a few other comments as well: Keep your Leica gear, do not sell anything until a year or two after the wedding, this gives you time to think about it, instead of making a hastey decision. Cut down on your wedding expenses--I have been to a few incredibley and expensive weddings, only to find a few years later the couple had divorced. I always had a fear of this, and so did my wife, so our wedding was on the cheap, to both of our surprise, we are still together after Eight years.

If you decide not to elope with your leicas, I wish you the best and happiness in your married life.

 

[amateriat]

Dante:

Hey, is this the same gal whose pulchritude has graced the pages of your site lo these many years? If so, all I can say is, about time!🙂

And, given that she's been the at the business-end of many of those lenses you've weilded, I'd imagine that she has an inkling of your photographic passions (presumably creative and technical). I don't think it's necessarily a wise move to quickly toss gear off indiscriminately: if there's stuff you might have been thinking of selling off anyway, exclusive of your tying the knot, that's one thing. Offering up a sacrifice to the altar as an exercise in devotion? Nope. The best thing you can offer up is...you. But I take it you knew that.

Since you're also something of an itinerant traveler, perhaps you can and should concentrate on gear that's amenable to your travels (the M8 and M-Hex "dualie" sound like a particularly tasty combo). I don't know how much of the gear you've reviewed on your site is still in your possession. Still have all that SLR/dSLR stuff? Maybe it's time to jettison a bit of that instead of the RF stuff. I'll presume you'll want to hang onto the best of your MF RF gear, so that should likely stick around.

And so on. I've been a fan in recent years of keeping the gear list relatively simple, but I haven't exactly gone monkish, and I don't think you necessarily have to either, particularly in the name of married bliss. Won't be necessary.

And...congratulations!


- Barrett

 

[Peter Klein]

Dante: First, congratulations, health and happiness to you both!

I'm going to assume that since you two have been together a long time, your fiancee understands that photography means a lot to you, and doesn't expect you to give it all up just because you're getting married.

What really matters is what's important to you. Try to step away from the rush of emotions surrounding the wedding, and think: When all this is over, how will I feel about having sold my __________?

When I was in my 20s and poor, I sold my M2, 50/2 DR Summicron and 90/2.8 fat Tele-Elmarit. And bitterly regretted it for two decades until I was in a position to get back into Leica M again. If I had it to do over again, I'd make a different decision.

If I had to give up almost all my Leica equipment and get maximum dollars back. I would probably keep one film M body, and my 35 and 50 Summicrons. But I'd often regret not keeping at least one longer lens and one very fast lens. And it would be very hard to go back to film after having had the M8.

If I had more leeway, I would keep the M8, 35/1.4 ASPH, 50 Summicron, and the inexpensive but quite good VC 28/3.5 and 90/3.5. And one film M body for backup.

Ah, but wait, I do some stage and classical concert photography. Not a lot, but enough that I'd better keep the 90/2 Summicron.

Oh, and I really prefer the classic rendition of the 35/2 Summicron ver. IV outdoors in good light. And it's smaller and lighter to carry around. Maybe I'd better keep that, too.

And so forth.

Your decisions may be different. What I'm getting into here is a thought process. It's not just what you take 80% of your pictures with. It's how much of the other 20% means a great deal to you and your identity as a photographer, even though they might not happen so often.

If something is truly surplus and it will help pay for "We'll always have Paris," then sure, put it on the block. But I wouldn't get rid of something that would take pictures that you would regret not taking. So I would say, if in doubt, keep it for now. You can always sell it later.

I think that used prices on relatively common Summicrons are going to be stable. Ordinary film bodies (e.g. M6) are down and may stay that way. But the fast and exotic stuff like the 35/1.4 and the Noctilux are probably going to keep going up. So I'd think twice before selling anything like that if you have the slightest thought that you'd want them back. OTOH, if you really almost never use, say, a Noct, and then only because you have it, it might be a good time to turn it into cash.

One other thing. I personally see little good in high-bling weddings (Bar Mitzvahs, Sweet 16 parties, etc.) that put the participants into hock. If I suddenly came into money, I would probably continue to drive a Honda Accord, but I would travel, go to more theater and symphony concerts, take courses, etc. Those are my values, others may see it differently. I do understand that in some neighborhoods and some professions, the projection of status is important. Then again, sometimes people do things just because they think they're supposed to.

Again, much luck and happiness!

--Peter

 

[Roger Hicks]

My wife and I will both second the advice to keep the cost of the wedding down. Ours -- just under 26 years ago -- was a (very) few hundred pounds. Wedding in the registry office; reception at home.

Who are you trying to impress with the wedding? Each other? Parents? Friends? Why?

Ignore the miserable sods who are anti-marriage. My first marriage was not a success. My ex-wife is a brilliant painter, sculptor, singer/songwriter -- and not the person for me to be married to. We split up in less than 3 years and were divorced as soon as we were legally able (3 years in England). We're still friends.

As are my second wife and I. The difference is, we're still married...

Cheers,

Roger

 

[Rob-F]

Keep the Leica, the last thing you want to do is start a marriage with regrets!

I agree. Don't give up what is precious to you. You will resent it, and it will affect your relationship. If you need $$ to get married, then save for it, and/or plan an affordable wedding.

 

[Matt(1pt4)]

You could always save money on the wedding by skipping the photographer. Instead of disposable cameras on the guest tables, just leave out a sprinkling of leicas for them to use ;-)

' I am worried that with the pace of Leica-flation,'

Before the M8, prices were low. I would expect them to start dropping again if an M9 doesn't materialize before too long.

Congrats.

 

[cosmonaut]

The Leica gear cost nothing to keep and you pay no taxes on it. Keep the gear and take a ton of great pictures of your wife and future kids. Pass the gear down the line like you are suppose to do.

 

[majid]

Congratulations! I have always enjoyed the pithy writings on your web site, and am also getting married. I can't make any specific recommendations, but keep in mind your choices in lenses may change if and when you have kids. You may also find yourself relying on AF DSLRs more.

 

[hugivza]

In that this is clearly a male dominated forum, I wonder how many have consulted their wives on what might be an appropriate answer from their viewpoint to Dante's question. Is it because deep down inside we really know the answer? I'm a congenital coward, so refrain from taking my own advice on the grounds of self preservation.

 

[Ororaro]

A DSLR system costs more then owning a Leica system... Besides that, is it a joke or are you really afraid of what the wife will say?

 

[Highway 61]

Besides that, is it a joke or are you really afraid of what the wife will say?

There are ten different kind of people : those who understand binary, and those who don't. Up to you.

 

[infrequent]

i sure hope you are keeping the hexars!

 

[newspaperguy]

No Dante... don't sell the Leica gear because you're getting hitched!

I did that that, and it's taken me more than 40 years to replace it.

(However, I do still have the same wife, so maybe it was worth it...
maybe.)

 

[Dante_Stella]

Hi all - first, thanks for the nice notes! I will get a better response together later today when I am not so under the gun on a couple of projects - but I will say that I have enjoyed the variety of perspectives so far. 🙂

 

[mfogiel]

Dante,
Hou haven't understood correctly your dilemma: continue with the present state of money making consciousness, or join the club of married people, who by definition have to boost their income???
I'd say, keep the Leicas, marry the (splendid) girl, and shift your brain to higher revs for making more in your profession... This is how adult like looks like... ;-)

 

[al1966]

Well I asked my wife what she thought and she said dont sell youll regret it and when you do you will start to resent your wife.

 

[lawrence]

I got brownie points from the missus.

Oh Kully, you seemed like such a smart guy at the photo meet but, believe me, this is not the right attitude! If you're not yet hitched and already booking brownie points, think about what things are going to be like in a year or two. My advice to anyone getting married is simple: do not compromise because the single, most destructive message you can send her is that she's going to be able to run the show by dishing out or withholding brownie points (or whatever). Just my two-p worth but spoken from experience.

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and hope you'll make it to Barcelona!

 

[Sparrow]

Spottswoode: Remember, there is no "I" in "Marriage"

In my experience it is, or should be, a joint venture, a team sport, congratulations

 

[dazedgonebye]

Be sure to list the gear in the pre-nup! 🙂

Ok, cynical married (twice) guy comment out of the way...

At any time in life, I think it's wise to jettison material things for which you have no present or likely future use. If your gear fits that description...sell it and enjoy the money. If it does not, why sell what you will want to buy again later at a higher price?