Hi Stephanie

[Stephanie Brim]

I swear that I'll be okay. I just need to talk more about it. My boyfriend and I are going to spend Sunday together. I need that. He's been great the last two days and I will tell him then about everything I thought about in the last week. I'm going to go back to the doctor eventually and get on something other than a sleeping pill and I may start seeing a psychiatrist and talking about things once I get insurance again. I think that it'll get better once I let go of some of the past things I've had to deal with lately. It's been a rough road.

I'm really still not wanting to be around people, even my own family, and I really am thinking about calling work tomorrow. I need to get healthy, both mentally and physically, so that I can go to school and do what I want to do.

In other news, I'm passing up a chance to go see hockey tomorrow. Sorry in advance to all Canadian and the US people who like it. I really wanted to go, too. 😛

 

[wlewisiii]

Good to hear from you. Get that BF to give you what you need - whatever that may be. Just remember this; there is nothing in this world that two people can not deal with better than one.

Take care and find out if the current owner of that 35 will take payments too... 😀

(still holding that enlarger if you want it eventually.)

William

 

[jlw]

I'm going to go back to the doctor eventually and get on something other than a sleeping pill and I may start seeing a psychiatrist and talking about things once I get insurance again. I think that it'll get better once I let go of some of the past things I've had to deal with lately.

Excuse me while I get on my soapbox, but this isn't just for Stephanie -- it could apply to other people too. (As I alluded in a previous post, I nearly lost a close friend earlier this year to a similar issue, so I'm very touchy about it.)

What I want to say is this: If you think you MIGHT have clinical depression, don't dink around waiting to get insurance or whatever -- get evaluated for it. If left untreated it really screws up your life and can be very dangerous. And once diagnosed it usually CAN be managed successfully through pharmacology, so why let it mess up your life?

Cribbed from a website:

Clinical depression or depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as feeling “down” or “blue.” It is not a “bad mood” or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms of clinical depression can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment for clinical depression, however, can help most people who suffer from clinical depression. The exact cause of clinical depression is not clear. Sometimes, a stressful event can cause one to feel depressed. Sometimes it seems to happen for no reason at all.​

An evaluation, e.g. by a psychiatric nurse, shouldn't be expensive -- if you don't know where to get it done, contact your county health department or call a university-affiliated hospital and ask for advice. Remember that there can be physical ailments that cause depressive symptoms, including anemia or thyroid, kidney, or liver problems. You definitely don't want to overlook one of THOSE!

 

[Krasnaya_Zvezda]

I used to be a psych RN, but I've been away from that field for 5 years. Still, if I can help you Stephanie, pm me, I'd be glad to talk with you.

 

[richard_l]

What jlw said. Anyone who suspects that they may have clinical depression should get help as soon as possible. Your friends and family are likely to think that you are just down in the dumps due to the vicissitudes of life, but it may not be that simple, and it can get out of control just like a bacterial infection. It is generally a neurological disorder which needs medical treatment, and getting the proper treatment in time can save your life. It is nothing to be ashamed of, any more than you should be ashamed of catching a cold. However, unlike a cold, depression can be terminal if not treated.

 

[Trius]

Amen to jlw and richard_i. And anyone who trots out the "all in your head" bull s#@t, DON'T. As you can see, I am pretty passionate about this. The only thing about clinical depression, be it dismythia (sp?) or more severe, that is "in your head" is the chemistry that is screwing with your life.

Trius

 

[captainslack]

My father & I both suffer from depression. We both waited waaay to late to get treated for it. I'm on Lexapro now and I can tell a world of difference when I'm off of it. Like so many people above said, don't wait to get treated. The sooner you do, the sooner you'll feel better.

Also, GO TO THE HOCKEY GAME!!! Hockey is a lot fun and it'll help get your mind off of things. In fact, bring your camera and get some pictures while you're there. That'll make you feel even better. 🙂

 

[Stephanie Brim]

I'm not going to the hockey game. I'm staying home today. I'm calling Monday for a consult with a nurse and to possibly get a prescription for anti-depressants.

The last time I let something get bad enough to blow up was when I was 16. I dropped out of high school and for about a week I don't remember saying or doing any of the things I did. I also kept a knife in my bedroom drawer. It took a long time to come out of it and to this day my mother knows nothing about the knife nor the fact that I've forgotten the span of time because I was afraid of what she'd say. Mental problems run in our family...it wouldn't surprise me if I did have clinical depression or even borderline manic tendencies. Now that I'm older I can say that I'm sick of living with this constant black cloud over me and that I'd like it lifted so that I can get on with the rest of my life without worry. I want to go to culinary school, live in New York for a time, and then travel a bit working under some chefs in different cities. To be successful, I'm going to have to admit to myself that I have a problem and get it fixed.

So thanks, guys. Hopefully within the week I can blog some good news about my mental state. 🙂