If it's a one-piece plastic spool, it's really not worth it to keep it, you'd be better off getting a Jobo, they are super easy to load, and to unload, you just unsnap the top and bottom parts of the spool, and the film just pops right out.
You've certainly got the right idea trying everything in the light first, nothing is worse than the frustration of having an important roll of film half loaded in a canister in the dark...you can't turn the light on, you can't figure out what to do, all you want to do is throw a Molotov cocktail at everybody that is pissing you off because your dang pictures are going to be ruined! (at least that's what I've felt before)
Even with store-bought film, I often use my thumbnail, with my other hand supporting the whole canister. Sometimes I need a little more leverage from my second thumbnail too. I find that using a can opener is not the most elegant way. Plus, if you use your thumbnail, you can reuse the canister, which is already DX coded. Be careful with your thumbnail though, don't torque it.
And as far as the spool goes, even on the most P.O.S. spools, it helps to put two fingers of one hand (fore- and thumb) on the very inside part of the film in the spool to guide it in or out, and work the film with your other hand. Very often all it takes either in or out is to slip the film back and forth with the inside fingers for a bit, and it sorts itself out.
Incidentally, I think that Jobo style spools are more efficient than stainless steel ones, partly because you can load a longer film onto them. (when you bulkload, you will start loading film in lengths that fit your style of shooting...depending on the canister and the film, you can put as few as 10 or as many as 50 exposures on a canister)
p.s. I forgot to mention that you should really get the cheap canister and spool, and burn them. Use it as an excuse to get rid of your weekly frustration, and as a reward, go out and buy a good canister, you can find one for as little as $10 at a shop, less on the 'bay.
