The other day, I was standing in the street in downtown [insert city], minding my own business, when this [insert gender] came up to me and said [insert remark about item] about my [insert item name].
I said to him [insert witty remark] and he went went off in a [insert mental state subject left reeling in].
What do you all think of that?
[Insert seething remark meant to buoy you up and justify your pretend hurt feelings.]