DU,
I like to think of my life as boring. It does not take much to make me happy. A long bike ride by myself, where I can get lost, as well as loose myself, is enough adventure for me. Cheap frills.
I know what you mean. The flattery that the publishing industry feeds you gets one to believe that you are special or gifted, but it is just to get you on that conveyor belt that is basically an empty dead end. Smoke and mirrors.
I gave up on the gated communities a long time ago. Fame is a burden and a big responsibility. In a way “Maggie” is learning how one’s work gets commodified, taken away and eventually stolen.
For decades I fought off lots of pressure to “put my work out there,” Get a gallery, and other things I deem as pure nonsense.
I look at the life of Eugene Smith, a man I admire as as photographer and a great printer. Sadly at the end of his life he was black listed because he wanted editorial control over his work. It made him insane and led to a life of destitution.
Luis Mendez, my friend, hung out with Gene Smith in the “Jazz Loft” days in the flower district in Chelsea. Luis mentioned how an open can of cat food was for the cock roaches so that they kinda stayed concentrated in one place. The celebrated photographer lost control over his work and was ruined.
Back in the late 70’s early 80’s I was a painter. Ivan Karp had worked with Leo Casteli, but Mr. Karp left and opened his own gallery a few doors down from Mary Boone, and Leo Casteli. Ivan Karp was open to discovering new and up and coming artists. I showed him my slides, and he told me to come back when I have more.
I was perhaps twenty, and felt discouraged, but as I left, Mr. Karp said, “When I said come back when you have more, I meant it.”
Months or perhaps maybe a year later, he told me I had too many ideas, and suggested I should commodify my work. He was not blunt or rude when he explained, but I took it as insult. Now I reflect and can see that as an art dealer he recognized my talent and my creativity, but that does not help him sell artwork.
I know I kinda blew a huge opportunity. I also know I disappointed many people who thought I had what it takes to make it big. Anyways, back then I made the decision not to be a whore and sell myself.
Now I am retired, I am proud that I maintained my artistic integrity, but “Maggie” is kinda sick of this book, sick of social media, sick of the publishing industry. She just wants to write.
I asked her what is more important: a small cult following; or a mass audience?
For me it is the few people I can respect. Perhaps I have a small following here. I know Maggie is a great writer. She has a cult following, and some of them are established and big time writers who are notable and meaningful. Pretty much this is all he needs.
I have ambitions: I would like to play solo guitar and be known for it; I would like to print a legacy that would reflect part of my life that would survive after I’m dead; I am thinking I would like to either rewrite a memoir I wrote as a work of fiction as an experiment; and also rewrite a screenplay I wrote.
Know that for decades I have struggled to have a voice and to express myself, either through visual arts, performance art (theater), spoken word, or writing.
This seems to spillover into this thread.
Not sure where all this is going, but it might lead to being a whore anyways, because eventually I guess the goal is to put your work out there. I wonder when Maggie’s book get released, and some of my personal info is made public if anything will come of it?
Seems like remarkable things happen to me that suggest divine intervention. There seems to be some deeper meaning to all this. There seems to be a reason and a point.
Do you believe in destiny? I don’t know if I believe in destiny, but it seems to be happening.
“Oh-well,” I say. LOL.
Cal
