NYC Journal

Great news: I got the PET scan report; and it seems from my reading that my Cancer is contained to the prostate, and maybe inconclusively a lymph node nearby in the “prostate-envelope.”

Pretty much 24 hours later after my scan.

The scan was from my neck to my mid thigh and pretty much got an all clear.

So pretty much no death sentence. The PET scan kinda reiterates what the 12 section biopsy and the MRI confirmed. The possibility of that lymph node is still inconclusive. Possibly the Cancer was just beginning to metastasize?

So I feel quite relieved. Treatment should mean I live and get to annoy people for many years to come. I figure surgery by robot in NYC maybe in January by a specialist who only does prostate surgery for New York Columbia Presbyterian.

Local radiation therapy for 4-5 weeks every day locally right here in Peekskill. And then a long-term use of hormone treatment to become a different man. This means perhaps 3-4 years of testosterone hormone suppression to suppress growth.

Pretty much I’ll have to adapt. Hopefully I don’t become a nasty bitch. LOL. Hopefully I transform into a skinny-bitch.

Cal
 
I kinda feel liberated.

Pretty much I caught an aggressive Cancer just in time.

I have a tumor that is 1.5 cm X 1.0 cm. Kinda big…

My thinking is that my entire prostate will get removed. Oh-well.

Seems like a new beginning, and certainly I will evolve into a different man.

My takeaway is that testosterone kinda keeps men fron getting hysterical like women. Like I said, “I hope I don’t turn into a nasty bitch.”

“Oh-well,” I say.

Cal
 
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Fingers crossed! And the whole diagnostic, waiting and treatment seems is a very tolling process. Have seen it as an outsider and take the learnings for life and living.

I have some first hand experience with some medication that -supposedly- reduces or negates testosterone. Non medical anecdote but it was the opposite of turning nasty, but rather relaxed zenlike Monastic.
 
Calzone said:
Great news: I got the PET scan report; and it seems from my reading that my Cancer is contained to the prostate, and maybe inconclusively a lymph node nearby in the “prostate-envelope.”

Pretty much 24 hours later after my scan.

The scan was from my neck to my mid thigh and pretty much got an all clear.

So pretty much no death sentence. The PET scan kinda reiterates what the 12 section biopsy and the MRI confirmed. The possibility of that lymph node is still inconclusive. Possibly the Cancer was just beginning to metastasize?

So I feel quite relieved. Treatment should mean I live and get to annoy people for many years to come. I figure surgery by robot in NYC maybe in January by a specialist who only does prostate surgery for New York Columbia Presbyterian.

Local radiation therapy for 4-5 weeks every day locally right here in Peekskill. And then a long-term use of hormone treatment to become a different man. This means perhaps 3-4 years of testosterone hormone suppression to suppress growth.

Pretty much I’ll have to adapt. Hopefully I don’t become a nasty bitch. LOL. Hopefully I transform into a skinny-bitch.

Cal
Click to expand...
Looking forward to many more years of annoyance!
 
Thanks for all the love.

I celebrated by going out in the back-backyard and down the slope to an area near the marsh that I call the “shelf.” The shelf is about 6-7 feet wide and is elevated about 2 feet from the marsh floor that grew back in about 10-15 feet after I dug out Japanese Knotweed over the past 4 years.

The marsh grass in places has jumped up onto the shelf, and in some places is growing right next to a chain link fence I recycled from another place in the yard as a barrier to retain all the clean fill I have been adding. The chain link fence is kinda half buried on one side, and if I hoard the leaves that my neighbors blew against a fence that is public land pretty much I will achieve the goal of hiding the fence from the building department.

My idea is to trim the brush back so the marsh grass can more easily establish itself. I’m basically inviting it to grow on my property. Part of the marsh actually is part of my property.

BTW “Maggie” does not understand my intervention or my invitation to the marsh grass to expand.

A truck driver for the construction crew that is doing the natural gas line asked me if I wanted free lumber. I was gifted four 8 foot long 3x10’s. This is pressure treated pine that I certainly will use in my terracing on the “slope.”

The piles of leaves are condensed, wet and heavy. Used my dump-cart to haul about 6 loads of leaves. Usually right after Thanksgiving the city vacuums up the piles, so this is a lucky opportunity.

The predicted rain so far did not happen. An expected storm and cold spell in the days ahead. The dry weather sped up the leaf decomposition, so pretty much the mulching is advanced. Pretty much I might have the opportunity to more than double my leaf harvest. By spring it becomes more or less top soil.

This is fostering the slope and the shelf to re-wild itself with native plants.

The base of the slope on the dead end I created a huge brush pile. The smaller animals will love the shelter it provides. At the top of the slope is a micro-forest of Norwegian Maples that I transplanted that grew in a feral manner around my yard. About half a dozen are saplings, enough to matter.

Still have to get gas, hit the bank. I walked to mail off the bills earlier.

So I feel more alive again. Not so burdened.

Some of the side effects of ADT or hormone therapy is loss of muscle, a propensity to gain weight, possibility of leading to diabetes (weight gain), bone weakening, loss of libido, and fatigue.

Pretty much a slow death spiral that could be offset with strength training, cardio, and careful diet. The fatigue is something I will have to fight.

Anyways, I feel more myself.

I tested the 2-pickup Cabronita today. With the Master Volume working properly today it seems the bleed through the mixer got mitigated. As I thought this two knob control layout is mucho practical and speedy. Very cool. I need to amp up to dial it in. Save $30.00 by not needing that toggle switch. I like the minimal design.

I talked with Cris today. I think I will have him assemble the Strat after I gather all the parts. He has the Fender decals, so after assembly pretty much it will look like a Fender Custom Shop guitar, but at a fraction of the price.

Cal
 
MFM,

I could become a crazy-bitch and become even more annoying. LOL.

I feel a lot of relief. Had a feeling I was not done.

Kinda lucky to have my Cancer caught in time. Evidently this is an aggressive Cancer that can take you out.

It is a good thing my urologist is a woman. “Maggie” tends to not listen to men. She has taken all this worse than me. She saw how this Cancer kinda advances so rapidly.

This is the Prostate Cancer that often kills black men that they say is due to “weathering.” It goes undetected, until it is too late…

So now I feel more myself. The only thing that is a complication is that Lymph node. Evidently this is generally the first spread. I cut it pretty close.

“Maggie” was worried that the Cancer had gone too far.

Cal
 
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Interesting to note that people who know me here in Peekskill want me to run for City Council.

I kinda let them know that I’m a bit of a thug and not so nice a person. They want to vote me in anyways.

So today I ventured out on my own to go to CitiBank and get gas. This man approaches me and asked about my Audi. I mention that it is a 2015 and not a new one, and that I bought in from Audi Madhattan with only 16K miles on it.

I kinda conveyed that some rich guy likely bought this car for his wife, and it basically sat in a garage in the Hamptons so that the wife could go get bagels on Sundays, and that likely the wife demanded a new car because the A4 had only 2G connectivity and she wanted and demanded 5G.

So I suggested to Melvin to look at Madhattan Audi for cars that are great deals. I also mentioned the A8 Limo I wanted to buy, and how the Car Fax led me to believe that some money mogul or hedge fund manager who had a beach house in the Hamptons, a country home in Greenwich Conn., and lived in Madhattan had the A8 Limo dealer detailed every year.

The Limo had 48K miles and they only wanted $12K for it. The bad is that we were at that time closing on the Baby-Victorian, and someone bought it out from under me.

Oh-well.

Pretty much my research background, having a boring day job, having a journalism degree, helped me dig into the smut that led to steal deals on luxury Audi’s.

So Melvin, a guy I just met, kinda thinks I would be good for Peekskill. Mel thinks being a thug and a fighter are assets in government. LOL.

So now I have three votes, and I’m not even campaigning. “I was just minding my own business…”

So Melvin and I are friends. I have his contact information. Pretty much all this happened just outside CitiBank.

How weird is that?

Cal
 
Opps. What happened in the stock market today?

What a crazy sell-off, and tomorrow is another day.

The FED give a final rate cut for the year, and warns that in 2025 likely no more cuts.

The music stopped in this game of Musical Chairs. Brutal.

Can you say “Red Screen?”

Cal
 
I think after Friday the world will be different. There will be an epic conclusion of what should be done.

I kinda know that in my future I likely will have less muscle and strength. If I can manage, I will avoid the probable weight gain and the health problems that come with weight gain.

I know how vain I can be, and I am. I learned as a kid that looks count. So I’m amplifying the Rooster in me to kinda ensure I stay as fit as I can. I think biking again will be my sanctuary and my salvation. I need time on a bike, hours on end, days in a row.

This free gym membership will enable me, and I have the rowing machine.

So the physical part of being a man has to transform into a different kind of strength. I likely will lack the bulk and muscle mass I have now. Last weigh-in 157 3/4 pounds at 5’10”.

I remember my body as a smaller man in my 30’s and 40’s, a 28 inch waist, a 27 inch waist again?

A 38 inch chest expanded could become a 36 inch chest expanded if I go back in time. A very boyish body of a high school kid. I can see this happening over a 3-4 year period of hormone treatment.

I am the same man, but then again I am not. Hmmm.

Back about 27-28 years ago, “Maggie” described me as looking like a Heroin addict with a Keith Richards like look. I wonder if I will look like a scary drug addict again? Edgy…

How will my body devolve? Will I look frail?

I imagine many men would have a problem with this. For me I kinda need a healthy body that is fit. Never was a body builder with vast bulk.

My spin is that in my genes I am built for strength, speed and acceleration, but I never had high testosterone levels to be a body builder. I am muscular, but in a very skinny way. I’m narrow shouldered, have small bones, with an innate slender build. Will a lower level of manly hormones really matter? Maybe not. Maybe not as much as a normal man.

I’m of average height, but I would consider myself a small man. A man with a boyish body…

So my life is a mystery…

I know my physiology, and it is for a high strength to weight ratio, I also have the fast twitch muscles for speed and acceleration. I can see me doing lots of push ups and pull ups, but with no bulk.

Actually in high school I could out-lift bigger bulkier guys. I expect this to carry over. I also wonder because I kinda remain a skinny-bitch if the muscle loss will really amount to much.

Hmmm.

Anyways an interesting experience lays ahead.

Hmmm, and hmmm…

Cal
 
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Slept like a baby last night. Also I kinda faded out early.

I dream of long 4-5 hour rides, kinda gentle. That Empire State Trailway is mucho great for me.

At the gym I feel like the skinny bitch, even though I’m not. Cardio is not so popular, as there are mostly muscle heads there.

Nothing like biking, the freedom, the after glow, the sense of relaxation.

Then there are the old bikes and the long history I have with them. Kinda like still owning your first car from high school. Ultimately I imagine my old biker lifestyle of living to bike.

Pretty much my pro-active recovery. Long slow rides to burn calories and just pump blood. Not a bad job.

I pinged my friend Cris about getting “Red” my electric archtop back that has been in his shop for years. Wanted to share the news, but I also wanted to push him along. It kinda paid to wait, after all the guitar is getting updated in a profound way and modernized for free. Then add on top of that I’m having a Lollar Charlie Christian pickup installed.

So now life is a dream, and I’m mighty happy to share it here.

Tonight is some Christmas play at the grand daughter’s school.

Oh, I forgot that I might have to give up coffee… Oh-well. A new life…

Cal
 
A crazy financial headline is that the economies of Europe and China could slow down enough that oil prices could plunge down to $50.00 a barrel.

Pretty much this is about the price level where fracking costs are to extract oil to break even, and know that the U.S. is a big energy exporter.

Remember $3.63 9/10ths for Mobile premium.

Cal
 
Calzone said:
Slept like a baby last night. Also I kinda faded out early.

I dream of long 4-5 hour rides, kinda gentle. That Empire State Trailway is mucho great for me.
(...)

Oh, I forgot that I might have to give up coffee… Oh-well. A new life…

Cal
Click to expand...
Good to think of energetic activities. I follow a photographer, Robbie Jeffers, who underwent a succesful cancer treatment a couple years ago and usually shared his relaxed bike rides as his space. Thought about that sense of relaxation.

After my long coffee free trip I just can't do much coffee, it's too diuretic. It sounds crazy, but now as mostly "Non caffeinated" it does seem to me that the world has quite some addiction!
 
My friend Andrew mentioned that the pressure treated 3x10’s could be useful for the garage. I went out with a tape measure to check the lengths. The shortest timber is about 8 1/2 feet long.

If I build heavy carriage doors, beefy door frames will be in order. The original garage door framing are 2x8’s. Know that I have an 8x8 foot doorway, most garage doors are only 7 feet tall.

I basically was gifted the wood that I need. How did this happen? Divine intervention?

So I’m starting to restrict carbs. This womanizing that will happen means with less muscle mass a slower metabolism.

Again, I am a vain man… I want to be a skinny-bitch.

So I think I might switch necks between the two Cabronita’s to see how dramatic the difference is due to a heavier thicker neck (both maple) and if the roasted maple is significantly different.

Then I’m thinking that this heavy and thick neck could add bass response and more sustain to the semi-hollow carved top.

Some interesting experiments that might optimize these three guitars further. Often it is just a lucky combination that is a matter of stiffness, weight, and resonance.

If I’m lucky all three get optimized, and on top of that I might learn something profound. I do have a feeling that the roasting of maple adds resonance, stability, and strength. Something to consider when I build out the new alder Tele and the Candy Apple Red Strat. Highly likely I will pay the premium for roasted maple.

The ugly with raw roasted maple is I already can see a darkening of the fingerboard just from the residual oils from new strings. The thing with roasted maple is it does not require a finish. I think I like that feel.

A clear finish though would prevent the dirt buildup. At this point a coin toss. The Strat though I kinda want it to closely resemble a Fender, so that means a finish. Oh-well.

The alder Tele though will likely be raw, get dirty, and get raunchy looking.

Right now there seems to be a trend for heavily worn guitars that kinda look trashed. I’m not so keen on this unless the wear is authentic and real. To me seems too much being like a poser and overstating your ability, kinda like a penis extension. Not so cool.

Cal
 
The big meeting with my urologist this morning. Pretty much will know more about the treatment and will move forward.

I feel like I got a Christmas gift with the PET scan results. I have a future…

Snow predicted today, and then a cold spell. Have to reload both feeders.

Will tweak some guitars. This is the deal when there is a stable of them to maintain.

Today I’m thinking that I will keep the blond 2-pickup Cabronita as is. The chunky neck is growing on me…

Hopefully a boring yet productive day.

Cal
 
No surprises and no ugly.

I am being fast tracked for surgery. On January 6th I have an appointment to meet with my surgeon from New York Columbia Presbyterian, the specialist who does only robotic prostate surgery.

The prostate along with the nearby left and right lymph nodes will be removed. Good news is that New York Columbia Presbyterian has a surgical robot in Bronxville (near Scarsdale, kinda central Westchester). No need to go to NYC.

Hormone treatment will be administered by my urologist. This is an injection performed every three months. I will be monitored closely every three months. This hormone treatment is pretty much like induced castration. Oh-well.

Radiation treatment is not in the picture yet. The prostate and remover lymph nodes will get biopsies to determine if radiation is warranted.

There was the treatment option of just radiation therapy, this would be less aggressive, but since I am so young and in otherwise good health the more aggressive treatment plan not only was recommended, but also is the plan I want. Remember I still have the potential to annoy people for many decades…

Evidently many men have a problem with becoming a different man, or have issues with a diminished masculinity.

Anyways the decision was/is mine, and “Maggie” also is in agreement. I also think my urologist is happy with my/our decision. Pretty much I feel it is what she wanted to hear, if you know what I mean. I believe she was pleased that I requested the aggressive treatment plan.

So I jumped the shark on the radiation treatment. That depends on the biopsy of the excised organs.

The lymph nodes remove excess fluid from the body. I have other lymph nodes that can take up the slack to prevent bloating. No big deal…

The hormone treatment is a suggested 18-24 months…

So it looks like surgery soon in January. The Cancer was caught just in time…

Cal
 
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