Photography and Personal Identity

FrankS

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I began phtography 30 years ago. It has been one of the few constants in my life. Photography plays a large and important role in helping to define who I am. More specifically, it is photography with traditional tools and techniques. This includes classic cameras and wet silver printing. It's important to me. It's a big part of who I am.

I recognize that other people have different passions and it is all good. I feel sorry for anyone without such a passion.
 
As with any passion, photography can become part of your identity, either personally or externally by others. My family knows that I am deeply involved in photography, but even more important to me is that other don't. Not that I don't want to share my passion, but I enjoy doing it in stealth and enjoying the results.
 
Photography has been important for some 8 to 10 years now for me but it has become more important since I met my wife, and has become increasingly important over the years that we've known eachother now. It's now come to a point that I'm thinking of myself more like a photographer (shooting for my own book publications) than an employee of the company I work for as a storage management expert. But at the same time my wife and girl and their home country, Mongolia, have also shaped my identity. These are the important things in my life, forming my view on the world and myself.
 
For me it is a form of expression. I have two kids who are excellent musicians and for some time I felt the need for an outlet that allows me to communicate ideas and emotions as well. Finding rangefinders a couple of years ago catapulted my old hobby back to the forefront of my interests and I'm feeling a lot more fulfilled.
 
I discovered Life magazine when I was probably 10... and started thinking about photography. It's been always my hidden passion. Like Rover, I still "hide" it (not too well... in my office I'm a well-known shutterbug) because I don't want to be perceived only as a "photographer" but also as...

A Leica fan maybe?

I don't know... I just don't go around making a big fuss about my hobbies, and keep that kind of talk with genuinely kindred spirits like those in this group.
 
I've only been photographing for 2 years but I am obsessed about it. When I'm not photographing, I'm developing film, making prints, reading about photography, pouring over photo books or shopping on ebay 🙂

For me, it captivates the creative side of my brain and the technical side. It is both a bit of craft and artistry. I think it's one of the most difficult arts because it is so seemingly easy and also because it is so easy to get lost in the technical/gear side.

I find now that I relate to my world with my camera. It is a visual diary. I shoot everyday and I can track what I was thinking, doing, seeing by looking at my contact sheets. I'm rarely without a camera and it has gotten to the point where if i can't take a photo, I feel a slight physical and emotional pain of loss.

For me, photography is not so much an end within itself, but a means of expression. For a long time i wanted to be a writer. I still write, but I now find that the medium that suits my style for the moment is photography. I remember reading an old New Yorker profile on Avedon and he said something to the effect that he saw himself not so much as a successful photographer as he does a failed poet. And it is true, there is a bit of poetry in his work.

www.xcapekey.com
 
Although I started taking photos as a kid, my other passions (guns, cars, motorcycles, WOMEN-) kept it in the background for many years.
Then about 20 years ago I made a conscious decision to follow my heart to what gave me joy "daily" and it has been PHOTOGRAPHY ever since then.
It's funny a few months ago I, while working in my yard, I overheard one neighbor talking to a new renter, "Oh, that's the photographer" - while pointing in my direction.
If only she could have seen the big smile that brought to my face 😀
 
that's a clever way to say it, clevername.
I'm not even sure I want a career, honestly. I just want a reasonable job where i can do my work at my best, and have the passion in my private life for things like photography etcetera.

A few days ago at a job interview, the guy reading my CV told me that he nas never seen a person with so many hobbies. Made met hink, is it really so, or it's just a sign that i am still looking for my great passion?
Fact is, photography took over the control of majority of my thoughts and acts during my free time. And not only the free time 🙁

As said above by others, i also have this urge to express myself in some way. I didn't learn to play an instrument, alas. I have no talent whatsoever for drawing or painting. I was busy with writing stuff for a while but those were way too egocentric texts thus nobody was interested in them🙂 I occasionally published some of it in the weekly student paper i was working on, but only because i was one of the editors as well. Right now it's even worse: my english is not good enough,not to speak of my dutch, to produce anything readable, and ...well...not too many hungarians here who would care. I could do it for myself but that doesn't suffice for me. So that's kinda dead also.
I can take photos, mostly lousy ones, true, but so far i can put the blame on the equipment, the weather, the boring city of eindhoven, and so on 🙂

But i have to admit, it's not going very well lately. Writing my thesis goes way too slow; i can't impress people at the job interviews, lots of them don't even invite me for an interview, especially the ones that i really wanted; my private life consists of occasional reunions loaded with beverages, mostly in the weekend, a few times a month... So i kinda find photography an escape, just as other people get alcoholic, smoke pot, eat mushrooms, play computer games or sleep too much.
 
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It was probably 1955, when I was 10 years old that my dad taught me to develop film in a 5 x 5 darkroom in our basement. I shot first as a hobby, later as a newspaper writer/photographer, then as a full time new photographer with portraits and weddings on the side. Then, about 1980 I got interested in the early personal computers and sold all my photo equipment. Didn't touch a "real" camera again for nearly 20 years.

By 2000 computers had become part of the daily work rather than a hobby. When a daughter wanted to get married on Maui I figured I could save a lot on photos if I just bought some used gear from the 1970s on Ebay. Then I discovered FSU gear. Then I tried to find an example of every camera I used in the good old days (some are too expensive for me to afford now). I think maybe the best part of it is the comradrie with folks on this forum and others -- sharing information and experiences.
 
When I was about 10 years old I sold greeting cards door-to-door to earn my first Brownie. I used it for many years. In my teens I had an interest in developing my own film but I never had the opportunity to set up my darkroom.

Then came many years of working, raising a family, & just taking family snapshots with different point & shoots.

Recently greyhoundman has helped to fan the flame of passion .....


..... for real photography, folks! And I am enthralled with the rangefinders!
 
Pherdinand.... I just want a reasonable job where i can do my work at my best said:
That's exactly what I mean. So few people have jobs that they really love or even find satisfying on any level other than financial. That is why it is so important to find happiness in your personal life. Friends, family, hobbies, whatever.
I did some photography about 15 years ago but didn't keep it up. About 3 years ago I got started again. I've never been terribly artistic, but I've always had an eye for interesting images. I tell my friends that as a photographer I don't create art, I capture it before it gets away.
 
Photography and Personal Identity

"To be or not to be; that is the question..."

My girlfriend asked me the other day if I really COULD go anywhere without my camera, and also "I wonder what would you be like without it?" Interesting question. I like people, and photography opens many doors for me. But "to be or not to be...?" Should my true personality be based not on what I do, but who I am....? Aye, there's the rub....one affects the other. For good or ill, depending on the will.....

"whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles; and by opposing, end them..."

I sometimes cringe when people or friends say, "Oh, you;re a photographer...". There can be many definitions and perceptions, and I wonder which one I am being shuffled (or shuffling myself) into; Playboy shooter? Paparazzi? War Journalist?

In the end, it doesn't matter. All that matters is the joy and creativity it gives to us. The category is not the I. And neither is "the I".

chris
canonetc
 
interesting thread.

the other day i was showing some of my stuff to a very beautiful young woman and as she was looking she said, "you really do capture the poetry of the moment".

i enjoy writing and photography, it is part of how i express the creative aspects of who i am.

joe
 
CleverName

You nailed it for me. I have a job that pays the bills and hobbies that add interest to my life.

Bob
 
CleverName said:
That's exactly what I mean. So few people have jobs that they really love or even find satisfying on any level other than financial. That is why it is so important to find happiness in your personal life. Friends, family, hobbies, whatever.

I couldn't agree more.

My job pays me very well and I'm good at what I do, but about four years ago I kind of looked around my dehumanizing cubicle and started wondering what sane person would actually want to do what I do. It was a profoundly depressing moment but then I asked myself, what would I do if I didn't have to worry about money? I grew up on the pictures in National Geographic, Life, etc. and remembered my dad (himself an avid shutterbug) showing me all the pictures he took around the world while he was in the Navy and more importantly, how connected they were with stories about people and places. I thought, well, maybe there's my answer so I started taking pictures again. Pretty soon I found I really enjoyed myself and the way I felt while I was looking for my own pictures and stories so I decided to get serious about it. I also found I had some things to say through my photos, even if at times it was just "this flower is pretty." Then I realized that in this day and age, maybe it's important for people to hear that once in a while along with all the serious social commentary.

My co-workers tend to regard me as that "hippie photographer" and I've probably killed any chance at "advancing" my career but somehow, I just don't really care about that any more. I work to pay the bills, finance the things I want to do, spend time with my friends and family, shoot the pictures I want to see, and I've never been happier.

It's very liberating to resign from the rat race 🙂.
 
www.bisbeemarquee.com. If you go there, follow the menu in the left column. Go down to "Columns" and click on that. Then click on Ted White, at which point a list of my columns shows. Click on "The Class." It's all there.

Obviously I'm also a writer, but also a guy who has never felt the need to make a choice between the two. Why, when they combine so nicely.

I've had many jobs, and a career teaching in colleges and universities. I think what kept me doing it - and sane also - was the three months off each summer.

The other day I visited a friend who works for a large defense establishment. He is upper management and took me on a tour of the place. We entered a room with perhaps 100 or so cubicles, each occupied by a human and a computer.

I was stunned and depressed. Outside a beautiful spring day was passing their lives by. It would be mostly gone when their workday ended. They would exit the hideous building (no windows to distract one from one's task), plod directly to their cars, and join the 5 PM traffic jam. If I were rich I would have waited by the exit, handed each of them a camera, and said, "here, play with this for a time."

Ted
 
It never used to be like it is now.

Before I really got into photography I used to walk around town with my digital and shoot photos of various things to use as stock photos for digital art. I absolutely love dark, creepy artwork and Photoshop was my best friend. I realized that as much as I loved digital art, most of my photos were better off by themselves. This is when I finally decided that it shouldn't be graphic design that I go to school for and that I should attend for photography instead. That's also when I decided to forego digital for a while and try film photography again for the first time in about 4 years.

I had been shooting with all cheapo point-and-shoot cameras and wasn't used to how the Nikon FE I purchased worked. I got the hang of it, though, and started taking decent pictures with it. I no longer have to rely on the internal meter and I rarely if ever get a truly badly exposed shot. The FE was the first SLR I had ever touched and I really loved it.

Rangefinders came soon after, though, and blew that out of the water.

My Canonet photos blew me away. I love that little camera. It's very easy to focus and *much* easier on pre-focusing for street shots. I love them so much that I'm selling my Nikon, which has given me quite a bit of use, to fund the purchase of a Canon 7 and a J-8. I have had a wonderful experience with them thus far and can't wait to have more.

Thus, I have become quite a traditionalist when it comes to photography. I'm about ready to go into developing my own black and white film. I'm thinking about possibly trying to develop my own color and slides. I'm also thinking about when and where to go to school.

It isn't just photography that has become a personal identity, but also the way I do it. All the cameras I own now are, and I say this proudly, older than I am. All of them work as if they were new thanks to caring and generous people. All of them do a much better job at taking pictures than my old digitals did. I think this says a lot about me and my values as a photographer. I hold to the traditional medium. This is part of my identity.
 
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