amateriat
We're all light!
(File under "Leica M Fantasy Baseball Department")
(Phone ringing in the the distance)
"Hello?"
"Mister Benton?"
"Yep, that's me."
"Doctor Kaufman here, Leica Camera."
"The Doctor Kaufman? Straight outta Solms? Well, um, hi!"
"How is the weather in New York?"
"Well, we finally got the first bit of 'real' snow this winter, but since I'm not much of a ski bum..."
"Not to be impolite, but I have a few important questions to ask, and not much time."
"Oh...sorry, no problem. Ask away!"
"I, and a few of my colleagues here, have followed your writings, as well as a few others, on a certain photography site on the Internet..."
"Hmm...Rangefinder Forum, I think? That's the only photo site I bother to hang out at anymore."
"Yes, we have found your comments there...interesting."
"Well, I have said one or two critical things about Leica...a lot of us there have, but it's mostly out of concern for the company, your know. I think almost all of us want to see Leica thrive..."
"I do sense that, which is why I've called to ask you about a proposal."
"Me? I don't even shoot with Leicas, to be blunt about it."
"I know. You're fond of that Konica M-mount camera."
"Well, yes, in fact. Love it. Which reminds me...was that old rumor about Leica and the Hexar RF..."
"We are interested in your direct input regarding Leica's product development program, and proposals for growth."
"Oh. Really!"
"Yes. Some of your comments we read from the archives, you might say, piquéd our interest."
"Well, I'm willing to tell you everything I know, or at least think I know..."
"Very good. We would like you to fly here immediately..."
"Huh? Fly? To Germany, just like that?"
"This is a very important matter."
"Well, there is the matter of this exhibit I have coming up in the fall, which I could use a few sponsorship bucks to help with costs..."
"We can discuss that when you are here. But we would first want to discuss your possible position here at Leica."
"Position??? You mean, as in a job? Er, Herr Kaufman..."
"Yes?"
"I hardly speak any German."
"Our former chief executive officer was scarcely better."
"Really? Oh...I just heard about him getting sacked. Really sorry that didn't work out. Seemed like an interesting guy."
"Yes, regrettably things did not "gel", as you Americans might put it. This is precisely why we want to discuss matters with you."
"Well, I'm flattered, to put it mildly. But what can I tell you that your former CEO couldn't?"
"Hopefully a good deal, since we are discussing your taking over his position."
(Moments of silence, followed by galfriend discovering her beloved unconscious on the livingroom floor beside the phone, followed by her frantically dialing 911 on her cell phone. Before the EMS arrive [who am I kidding, New York Methodist is right across the street!] I stagger to my feet and attempt to continue the conversation; Dr. Kaufman, amazingly, is still on the line.)
"So? What do you say?"
"I'm not sure. What inducements do I have to take on this "mission", should I choose to accept it?"
"Eh?"
"Um...just an aside from an old TV show I watched as a kid."
"Well, there's a generous salary, with amenities, like a company car..."
"What kind of car?"
"A Mercedes, of course."
"I suppose. Which model?"
"An SLK."
"Hmm..."
"Not high enough in the line?"
"Um, not bad, but..."
"Yes?"
"I like the Chrysler Crossfire better. Can I get one of those? Don't tell Dieter..."
So...suppose, beyond all reason, these guys put it to a vote, made me the penultimate Offer I Couldn't Refuse and, whether out of sheer desperation or inspired lunacy offered me the job of CEO at Leica Camera A.G. Would I, should I, create an American, presidential-style "100 Days" mandate to get to grips with the stuff that's thrown Leica from crisis to crisis, instead of from strength to strength?
Here are some ideas. I insist you guys chime in to add ideas, or offer cat-calls to mine.
- Jettison the Hermés Influence. Let's get real. How much of a Prada-like halo effect is all this pink-leather-and-hammertone stuff having in terms of the bottom line? I happen to think the a-la carte program is worth keeping, but let's make the program more relevant to people who look to Leicas as more than mere shelf candy, while still acknowledging the tactile and aesthetic draw Leicas still enjoy.
- Fast-track the full-frame M9. I'm a dedicated film shooter, but I'd be worse than stupid to ignore the code-imprinting on the wall. Leica needs a working, FF M body, sooner rather than later. I want to keep the M form factor, and if that means thinking a bit "outside the continent" in some regards, so be it.
- Return of the CL. Want to sell more film cameras? Here's the formula: either a bare-bones M7, or a new "subcompact" M-mount body, with a swing-open back (if they're good enough for the R-series, why not this?), motorized film-advence/rewind, and just enough Leica cachet to be an art-school magnet that doesn't entirely break the bank, or ruthlessly cannibalize the full-pop M market. Have a crop-factor digital version follow shortly behind.
- Court the pro market. Seriously. Yeah, I know Solms has been in this "too proud to beg" stance regarding the pro market, but I think the NASCAR "win on Sunday, Sell on Monday" premise sort of works in the photography market (even if it seems ludicrous for NASCAR these days). Choose to be a strong niche rather than a weak one.
- Market a film scanner. Yes, I'm serious, even at this late date. They don't have to build the thing from the ground up (Dog knows, it's probably better that they don't), just do a serious number on the optics, and maybe have some input with the sensor. Should've done this at least five years ago.
- "(Re-) Pimp My M." Got a tired M2/3/4/5/6? Got black chrome when you really wanted black paint? Solms should find a way to offer make-overs of this sort and make it pay without ruthlessly fleecing people (which doesn't mean offering these services for cheap). They still offer some spares for older Ms, and are now making noise about "upgrades" for M8s. What's so out-of-place about this?
That's my story. What're you sticking to?
- Barrett
(Phone ringing in the the distance)
"Hello?"
"Mister Benton?"
"Yep, that's me."
"Doctor Kaufman here, Leica Camera."
"The Doctor Kaufman? Straight outta Solms? Well, um, hi!"
"How is the weather in New York?"
"Well, we finally got the first bit of 'real' snow this winter, but since I'm not much of a ski bum..."
"Not to be impolite, but I have a few important questions to ask, and not much time."
"Oh...sorry, no problem. Ask away!"
"I, and a few of my colleagues here, have followed your writings, as well as a few others, on a certain photography site on the Internet..."
"Hmm...Rangefinder Forum, I think? That's the only photo site I bother to hang out at anymore."
"Yes, we have found your comments there...interesting."
"Well, I have said one or two critical things about Leica...a lot of us there have, but it's mostly out of concern for the company, your know. I think almost all of us want to see Leica thrive..."
"I do sense that, which is why I've called to ask you about a proposal."
"Me? I don't even shoot with Leicas, to be blunt about it."
"I know. You're fond of that Konica M-mount camera."
"Well, yes, in fact. Love it. Which reminds me...was that old rumor about Leica and the Hexar RF..."
"We are interested in your direct input regarding Leica's product development program, and proposals for growth."
"Oh. Really!"
"Yes. Some of your comments we read from the archives, you might say, piquéd our interest."
"Well, I'm willing to tell you everything I know, or at least think I know..."
"Very good. We would like you to fly here immediately..."
"Huh? Fly? To Germany, just like that?"
"This is a very important matter."
"Well, there is the matter of this exhibit I have coming up in the fall, which I could use a few sponsorship bucks to help with costs..."
"We can discuss that when you are here. But we would first want to discuss your possible position here at Leica."
"Position??? You mean, as in a job? Er, Herr Kaufman..."
"Yes?"
"I hardly speak any German."
"Our former chief executive officer was scarcely better."
"Really? Oh...I just heard about him getting sacked. Really sorry that didn't work out. Seemed like an interesting guy."
"Yes, regrettably things did not "gel", as you Americans might put it. This is precisely why we want to discuss matters with you."
"Well, I'm flattered, to put it mildly. But what can I tell you that your former CEO couldn't?"
"Hopefully a good deal, since we are discussing your taking over his position."
(Moments of silence, followed by galfriend discovering her beloved unconscious on the livingroom floor beside the phone, followed by her frantically dialing 911 on her cell phone. Before the EMS arrive [who am I kidding, New York Methodist is right across the street!] I stagger to my feet and attempt to continue the conversation; Dr. Kaufman, amazingly, is still on the line.)
"So? What do you say?"
"I'm not sure. What inducements do I have to take on this "mission", should I choose to accept it?"
"Eh?"
"Um...just an aside from an old TV show I watched as a kid."
"Well, there's a generous salary, with amenities, like a company car..."
"What kind of car?"
"A Mercedes, of course."
"I suppose. Which model?"
"An SLK."
"Hmm..."
"Not high enough in the line?"
"Um, not bad, but..."
"Yes?"
"I like the Chrysler Crossfire better. Can I get one of those? Don't tell Dieter..."
So...suppose, beyond all reason, these guys put it to a vote, made me the penultimate Offer I Couldn't Refuse and, whether out of sheer desperation or inspired lunacy offered me the job of CEO at Leica Camera A.G. Would I, should I, create an American, presidential-style "100 Days" mandate to get to grips with the stuff that's thrown Leica from crisis to crisis, instead of from strength to strength?
Here are some ideas. I insist you guys chime in to add ideas, or offer cat-calls to mine.
- Jettison the Hermés Influence. Let's get real. How much of a Prada-like halo effect is all this pink-leather-and-hammertone stuff having in terms of the bottom line? I happen to think the a-la carte program is worth keeping, but let's make the program more relevant to people who look to Leicas as more than mere shelf candy, while still acknowledging the tactile and aesthetic draw Leicas still enjoy.
- Fast-track the full-frame M9. I'm a dedicated film shooter, but I'd be worse than stupid to ignore the code-imprinting on the wall. Leica needs a working, FF M body, sooner rather than later. I want to keep the M form factor, and if that means thinking a bit "outside the continent" in some regards, so be it.
- Return of the CL. Want to sell more film cameras? Here's the formula: either a bare-bones M7, or a new "subcompact" M-mount body, with a swing-open back (if they're good enough for the R-series, why not this?), motorized film-advence/rewind, and just enough Leica cachet to be an art-school magnet that doesn't entirely break the bank, or ruthlessly cannibalize the full-pop M market. Have a crop-factor digital version follow shortly behind.
- Court the pro market. Seriously. Yeah, I know Solms has been in this "too proud to beg" stance regarding the pro market, but I think the NASCAR "win on Sunday, Sell on Monday" premise sort of works in the photography market (even if it seems ludicrous for NASCAR these days). Choose to be a strong niche rather than a weak one.
- Market a film scanner. Yes, I'm serious, even at this late date. They don't have to build the thing from the ground up (Dog knows, it's probably better that they don't), just do a serious number on the optics, and maybe have some input with the sensor. Should've done this at least five years ago.
- "(Re-) Pimp My M." Got a tired M2/3/4/5/6? Got black chrome when you really wanted black paint? Solms should find a way to offer make-overs of this sort and make it pay without ruthlessly fleecing people (which doesn't mean offering these services for cheap). They still offer some spares for older Ms, and are now making noise about "upgrades" for M8s. What's so out-of-place about this?
That's my story. What're you sticking to?
- Barrett
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