One of my trademarks is that I can be mucho annoying on purpose. Remember that I am a self proclaimed drama queen and for about a decade I was a performance artist.
Know that many bicyclists have an eating disorder, and pretty much eat disgusting amounts of food. I eat a lot, well not anymore like I use to, but let’s say that I got a lot of comments about how much I eat and remain a skinny bitch. This upset a lot of people.
Basically I said, “If you exercise enough you too can eat as much as you want.”
My friend “Iron” MIke had coupons two for one for Burger King Whoppers, he asked me how many I wanted, and I said, “Four.”
Mike excused himself because he said watching me eat 4 Whoppers was making him sick.
We would go to a McDonald’s in New Palz on our way to Lake MIn-A-Wask-KA where I would eat a couple of McDonald’s breakfasts eating mucho grease and fat, and then go on a day long ride of climbing on a bike.
I had two “Hampton Maids” which is pancakes, French Toast, eggs, sausage, bacon and ham. The waitress refused to serve me two at the same time because basically it came out on a turkey plater, so I finished one and than had to order another. To boot my friend Julie gave me some of her sausages.
So at work we had these boring Friday lunch meetings, and the only thing good about them is our new Chief spent a lot of money on boutique pizza. So for me free food means I should take advantage, and because of the UBER quality and the variety of all the different pizzas I could create a huge spectacle.
Our new Cheif was a very Narcie guy. So in love with himself, so I decide to sit next to him. He mentions that he is on a diet, so that created a sich-E-A-TION to exploit, so I started making my pizza sandwiches which is take two triangular slices and stack them on top of each other so I could eat two slices at once. I pounded that one down, then got up and made another sandwich, then another, and another. I ate a total of 8 slices, and this was pizza thick with toppings.
Our Chief could not take it any longer, I broke his will power, and he said, “I’m only having one slice.”
Anyways, that was the last time he ever had these lunch meetings, and it was the last time he bought pizza.
He then had these late afternoon Friday meetings, and since these meetings did not involve me at all, and I was located at a remote lab, I decided not to attend any more of these boring meetings. Without pizza there was no incentive to attend.
So for about 15 years I got away with this. “Ha-ha,” I say.
Also know I used my Rolex to make sure that generally I arrived late and left early. I was suppose to be there at 8, but even showing up late I more or less was alone in my lab, and the boring Friday meetings were after 4:00 PM when I was perhaps approaching my luxury apartment on my walk home or shopping at Fairway on 86th Street.
A funny story is that my hospital was ranked number one by U.S. News and World Report, until I was hired, then we fell to second place and never recovered for the 22 years I was employed there. I said to my boss, “We are number 2. You should of never hired me.”
How-Weird did wish he never hired me BTW. Kinda funny is he was kinda being pushed out, and I kinda retired early not only because of Covid, but because the agreement between two hospitals was ending at the 20 year mark. I was offered the opportunity to get retrained to hang on for a few more years as a gift of sorts, but How-Weird (Howard) was actively getting pushed out. Pretty much I was left to coast and ride out on my own terms and my own benefit.
I find it amusing that even though my job was kinda EZ-PZ and made for a lazy-slacker who really was an artist that did not fit in, it is interesting that I was so specialized that it won’t be easy to find someone to replace me. LOL.
Cal