NYC Journal

[Calzone]

They say Cancer ages you. The fatigue side effect and loss of strength makes me feel like a 75-80 year old. No joke.

The anemia makes me winded, and the heat today depletes me rapidly.

Then a boyish body is emerging…

The hormone treatment started in April with the injections, then there was a delay of about 2 months for the Inhibitor and steroid treatment, so April or June 2027 hormone treatment ends.

A year to a year and a half is required for the drugs to wear off and for my body to normalize so now we are looking at April 2028 as the earliest where that there might be an indication that I beat the Prostate Cancer. Could be as late as 2029.

Then there is a 30% chance that I will never produce testosterone ever again.

Very hard to do any strength training or exertion with the weakness and fatigue. I am concerned…

Cal

 

[Calzone]

Somehow I am resembling both and older man than my 67 years, and reverting to a teenager.

How odd and strange. I kinda look younger, but I feel older.

It will take a while to see where I stand more than two years from now.

I seem also to be bloating back up.

As radiation treatment goes on the fatigue builds. My Radiation Oncologist says that my fatigue is mostly due to the hormone treatment.

My hematologist/oncologist says it take a full 6 months for the side effects to build up. I began in April so sometime in October I should somewhat know where I stand with the side effects. Early end of hormone treatment is April 2027.

When I worked at Sloan-Kettering I understood that with chemo they come pretty close to killing the patient to kill the Cancer.

I figure my treatment is kinda severe, but at least it is not as bad as chemo.

I also understand that if I had any other chronic disease that things would get complicated fast.

I live in a limbo.

Cal

 

[ASA 32]

Somehow I am resembling both and older man than my 67 years, and reverting to a teenager.

How odd and strange. I kinda look younger, but I feel older.

It will take a while to see where I stand more than two years from now.

I seem also to be bloating back up.

As radiation treatment goes on the fatigue builds. My Radiation Oncologist says that my fatigue is mostly due to the hormone treatment.

My hematologist/oncologist says it take a full 6 months for the side effects to build up. I began in April so sometime in October I should somewhat know where I stand with the side effects. Early end of hormone treatment is April 2027.

When I worked at Sloan-Kettering I understood that with chemo they come pretty close to killing the patient to kill the Cancer.

I figure my treatment is kinda severe, but at least it is not as bad as chemo.

I also understand that if I had any other chronic disease that things would get complicated fast.

I live in a limbo.

Cal

Somehow I am resembling both and older man than my 67 years, and reverting to a teenager.

How odd and strange. I kinda look younger, but I feel older.

It will take a while to see where I stand more than two years from now.

I seem also to be bloating back up.

As radiation treatment goes on the fatigue builds. My Radiation Oncologist says that my fatigue is mostly due to the hormone treatment.

My hematologist/oncologist says it take a full 6 months for the side effects to build up. I began in April so sometime in October I should somewhat know where I stand with the side effects. Early end of hormone treatment is April 2027.

When I worked at Sloan-Kettering I understood that with chemo they come pretty close to killing the patient to kill the Cancer.

I figure my treatment is kinda severe, but at least it is not as bad as chemo.

I also understand that if I had any other chronic disease that things would get complicated fast.

I live in a limbo.

Cal

Hang in there, Cal. Your many ongoing treatments are really a challenge, I know, but you will get through them and revert to your usual annoying self. Sending lots of positive energy your way.

 

[Calzone]

Teenagers certainly are annoying. LOL.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

Good news is my radiation treatment has changed from a blanket dose to my pelvic region to a targeted localized treatment. The radiation is less and there is less time on the table. The quicker in and out is less fatiguing. I feel a lot more human.

Only 13 more treatments and on August 29th will be the last one. The remaining treatments will be the highly targeted ones that are brief.

I learned today that the three licensed radiation therapists talk about food all day at work. “What did you have last night for dinner?” And, “What are you going to have tonight.” Basically foodies. Been thinking about getting them a gift of a Chinese cook book as well as some food gift.

Showed off my Victorian diamond ring and Edwardian diamond ring. One dates back to the 1850’s, and the Edwardian is about 1880. On me they are pinky rings I wear together on my left pinky.

One of the radiation therapists is of Irish decent, and what once graced British nobility is now worn on an Asian’s finger as a display of power and wealth. A post-colonial F-U statement. This Irish woman understood the context fully.

Did you know that Ireland is the Silicone Valley and tech-center of Europe? “Maggie” has both Irish and English blood in her along with some Dutch. We will be digging into Ireland in the future. Maggie identifies as being Irish mostly.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

Saw a headline that Kodak might be down and out.

Imagine a world without Tri-X or 5122.

Mucho sad if true.

Cal

 

[Prest_400]

Saw a headline that Kodak might be down and out.

Imagine a world without Tri-X or 5122.

Mucho sad if true.

Cal

Seems like very alarming headlines, in line with our contemporary world and communication patterns.
So the business itself appears to be good, the film side has actually been invested lately and it's the obligations which are the burden.

Kodak's report: Kodak Reports Second-Quarter 2025 Financial Results

They are the Color manufacturer so honestly it would be the saddest thing to lose. I sadly haven't really been a Kodak B&W user.

 

[MrFujicaman]

Cal, don't you mean 5222 ?

 

[Calzone]

MFM,

Yes. 5222.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

Kinda crazy…

I bought 25 packs of Fuji FP-100 for I think $20.00 a pack. As I remember $500.00 total.

I still have around 20 packs, but now that film is dated.

Now on EBAY a pack of FP-100 seems to go for $400.00 a pack for refrigerated ones. I have to check, but I think mine are some of the last batch.

Mine has been stored in my root cellar.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

My radiation therapy is of shorter duration, but I think that lymph-node is getting blasted mucho hard.

I feel less fatigued, but more spaced out.

I’m in a fog of sorts.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

My friend Bobby shipped me a custom pickup. He used Alnico 2 magnets to soften the treble. Should be great.

Deliver later this week.

Cal

 

[Rayt]

Glad to see you are posting regularly. By my third week of radiation therapy I couldn’t eat or walk and had to drink protein shakes. My uncle died from the same thing at 37 when technology wasn’t there to save him. My sister as well and wasn’t diagnosed until stage 4 but she’s now walking around.

 

[Calzone]

Ray,

July was 4-weeks alone. I’m in my 6th week, but today it seems like they upped the dose and concentrated the dose to a more targeted area. Previously the radiation blanketed my general pelvic area.

So I wouldn’t call it Die-A-rear, but I am having mucho bowel movements. I guess my bowels are being irritated.

Today I’m fading in and out nodding off. 13 more big blasts and it is over, but today it was my first big blast.

Off to the toilet again…

I initially thought the shorter time on the table meant less side effect. I think I was wrong.

I think it will be a rough week…

Cal

 

[Rayt]

I have been there and know how it feels. I took radiation to the head for nearly two months and now have verbal diarrhea and I am not talking about bad breath. Well that too.

It’s the unpredictability that has the world on edge.

 

[Calzone]

“Maggie” thinks it has been non-stop for over a year, but things are building up.

I know that radiation causes damage. Some cells repair themselves, others die, and some can even mutate…

I think my body is getting taxed trying to repair itself. There is a constant buildup of fatigue and tiredness, and a weekend is now no longer long enough.

I still have 2 1/2 weeks to go… I’m feeling mighty old.

Cal

 

[oldhaven]

You should be careful not too lose too much weight considering the treatment in front of you. There will be time for that later. I am 5’10’’ and my best weight is 165. When cancer and my treatment got me down to 144 I looked and felt like 10 years had been taken away from me. You may need a few extra pounds in case your appetite or digestion are betraying your best efforts and intentions. I am 170 with a bit of a spare tire now, but I look at it as insurance against what may happen in the future when I don’t feel like eating. You have a really good attitude about this and the doubts will go away after this nadir.

Ron

 

[Calzone]

Thanks Ron,

Last night went to bed early. Yesterday after the targeted radiation I lived in a twilight like fog, not fully awake, and somewhat dream like. I nodded in and out in a sort of limbo.

8 1/2 hours sleep on top of all the napping that was most of yesterday.

I even got up a bit late. 13 more treatments left… Hopefully not as brutal as yesterday.

154.6 pounds today and I have not evacuated yet. Most of the weight loss seems to be muscle mass, my small gut remains about the same, so I have spare change.

Around 148 is what I consider my fighting weight. I am small boned.

I know I signed up for the most aggressive treatment plan. This is because I am otherwise healthy.

Cal

 

[Calzone]

I am heeding Old Haven’s advice. Had 4 eggs (no yokes), 2 bagels, and now a pita bread with provalone. It’s only 11:00 AM.

Later will have a protein shake.

A new addition is crushed hemp seeds, another high protein source, but also loaded with fats.

My body has to rebuild…

Thanks for the love and support.

Now only 12 more treatments.

Ran into another patient who is undergoing the same “salvage” treatment after a prostatectomy. Same 39 radiation treatments.

It seems his treatment is compounded because he lives an hour’s drive away. Hard for me to imagine dealing with this logistic difficulty. I have it EZ-PZ. There is no room for complaints…

I mentioned that the licensed radiation therapists are all food hounds. Been thinking if I could get an ex-cyclo-peed-ick Chinese cookbook for them to share at work to pass the time. The smut is that this crew talks about food to pass the time at work.

Also I have been doling out some of my cooking secretes. One is using wheat germ to bread eggplant. Kinda crunchy and nutty at the same time. Browns up nicely. Of course use a densely green olive oil. Smells up the house though. “Maggie” complains…

Cal

 

[Calzone]

Did you know that the Polish Military is the third largest force in NATO after the U.S. and Turkey. They have F-35 lightnings and F-16’s.

The Poles are spending 4-5% of their GDP on defense spending. They will upgrade their F-16’s to exploit the F-35’s targeting and the F-16’s are kinda launch platform or weapons “trucks” for the F-35’s. Know that F-35’s can launch missles from other planes to attack targets.

Also know that the F-35 is stealthy and is like a mobile command center gathering forward information. It communicates target data deep over enemy territory in an AWAC’s like manner. A deadly eye-in-the-sky.

The F-16’s are being updated so they will be fully integrated into the F-35’s capabilities. This is mucho smart. The idea her militarily is rapid response that is effective and deadly in an overwhelming manner.

This is a tech-war… Air superiority will hurt and slow down any enemy. This is not the Ukraine.

If you understand history, Poland has been throughout history been invaded and over-run on all sides. Pretty much the flat landscape lacks mountains or high ground to aid in setting up a defense.

Like the Cantonese, history has breed them for fighting, not through the vehicle of feudalism, but constant invasion or threat of invasion. They have to be mucho fast response and highly nimble.

My guess is they don’t want to be under Putin control.

To grasp the nearly 5% of GNP spending take into account that Ronald Ray-Gun mandated a 5% defense spending here in the U.S. in the 1980’s. Pretty much the U.S. economy was three times the size of the USSR, and Russia kinda went bankrupt trying to keep up. Effectively this spending ended the Cold War.

The way I read this, the Polish don’t want to be the next Ukraine. Understand that Poland is an easy and likely target.

Putin’s worries of the west is not invalid. They share a large border and defending it would be difficult.

Cal