John,
What you need is a permanent "Get Out Of Jail Card."
I manned up and bought "Maggie" a huge diamond ring, even though we are not married, and we live in sin.
We do not celebrate Valentines Day, Birthdays, anniversities... LOL. I always get confused how long we have been together, perhaps 18 years, but I'm not sure. LOL.
Call me a cheap *******, but I spoil my gal in the moment, I surprise her in real time, and not some ritual. I don't have to feel burdened, I don't have to do any forced move (life is not a championship game of Chess), and finding nice gifts at my convenience is just so easy.
I made a mortitorium long ago on commercialized holidays. I might buy a Christmas present for her in the summer, or she might buy me a birthday present at almost anytime.
Cal the lazy slacker.