Cal, you should team up with a comic book cartoonist and make a graphic novel of your adventures!
Dan,
I can say that you can't make this stuff up.
Today I found a "fresh" mini Totes umbrella. Somehow it sports a "Team Mango" sticker. The forensics suggest that someone lost it on York Avenue, or planted it so that I would find it on my walk to work this morning.
I would say this umbrella was likely used only once because the OEM creases are still present. I opened the umbrella and then carefully reset the creases to maintain the freshness. Only a photographer might do this.
"IQ is important," I say. LOL.
This small umbrella compresses down to an 8 1/2 inch length and can fit in a coat pocket.
Why does all this random good luck happen to me? In the book "Flash" about WeeGee the Famous it seems lots of the mystic is his luck, random events, and odd coincidence that ended up creating a legacy of sorts.
That's why spiritually I believe in "Divine Intervention." Pretty much if it were not for Divine Intervention I would have been dead a long time ago. I have had a reckless and crazy life where I embraced fatalistic and self destructive behavior.
Truth be told, my technical background is limited to a 6 month vocational school training in electronics, even though I have a B.A., a M.A., and a MFA.
The big job I have at a famous hospital was a tall ad like a skyscraper in the New York Times in the Sunday Business section. They asked for someone with a Masters in Electrical Engineering and cyclotron experience.
Maggie said, "You'll never get that job; you don't have the Masters in Electrical Engineering; nor the cyclotron experience."
I know I'm a delusional artist, but I said, "If I can get an interview, I'll get the job." Part of this was delusion, but also remember for about a decade I was a Performance Artist who performed at the Joseph Papp Public Theater, off-Broadway at Second Stage Theater; The Puffin Room in SoHo, and numerous colleges and universities throughout the northeast.
At work at Brookhaven National Labs I exploited their fast Internet connection and their high speed printer to learn what a cyclotron was. I printed out stacks of paper doing a search with the word "Cyclotron" and got all this stuff that had formulas and math that would give me a headache every night.
I learned from a head hunter employment agency that I should bypass the personel and human resources departments and send a cover letter and resume directly to the boss who would hire me. You got to love the Internet, and remember I have a Masters in Journalism so fact checking, doing research, and data mining now is an innate skill.
I know I'm a great salesman. I remember how I could sell hundreds of dollars worth of extras and upgrades when I set the hook into someone buying a "$10.99 10 gallon starter kit" when I worked part-time at "Ed's Aquarium."
Pretty much I pitched myself as a rather clever guy who worked at Grumman doing research working one-on-one with PhD's getting an education you could not get in grad school and my experience working on two big accelerator projects at two different national labs (Los Alamos and Brookhaven).
So I got my interview and was called back for a second interview with the big boss that I sent the cover letter and resume to. It was me against a real engineer with a Masters in EE from Oxford who had real experience with running a cyclotron lab at IBM.
The smut that got back to me is that pretty much I got the job because I had rough hands and the other candidate had soft hands like a woman. I literally came ahead as the "hands on guy" who worked.
So if this is so crazy to be called "Performance Art" it is not really that much of an exaggeration. Pretty much I'm a big poser who is an imposter of sorts. My charm and good looks I think certainly helped. Even though I'm a skinny bitch, I have big balls.
BTW when you read about WeeGee, what I'm reporting above is something he would do.
I have over 20 years of employment at this world famous hospital and pretty much a big pension that should foster a luxury retirement.
BTW I should win an award (Tony or Emmy) for my acting. Also know that a Tony Award winning Director at an audition once asked me, "When will you over your loss?" I didn't get that gig.
Cal