Photography Jokes

Lions and Tigers

Lions and Tigers

Two photographers, a man and a woman, apply for the job of circus photographer. As a test, the circus manager puts the woman photographer in a cage with lions and tigers and says "Take their photos."
The woman talks softly to the animals and calms them down, takes pictures, has them purring, takes pictures, and eventually they are all around her purring and licking her face.

The other photographer and circus manager are outside the cage, watching in awe as the animals cuddle up around her. The manager asks the man photographer, "Jees! Can you do that?" . . . . the guy thinks a bit and says . . . "Hell yes. Just get those animals out of there."
 
location: southern u.s.
two girls were swimming in the lake.
a van pulls up, a guy with a tripod and view camera jumps out, and asks if he can take their photo.
they agree, so the guy goes back to his gear, sets it up facing the girls, and throws a big black cloth over the camera and his head.
1st girl asks the other, 'what's he doin'?
2nd girl answers, 'he gonna focus'
1st girl: 'what, both of us?'
 
Top ten reasons to date a photographer:
  1. They work well in the dark
  2. They’re used to funny smells
  3. They make things develop
  4. They work well on many settings
  5. They know how to focus
  6. They can make big things look small and small things look big
  7. They work well from many different angles
  8. They zoom in and out. And in and out and in and out and in and out…
  9. They shoot in many different locations
  10. They can find the beauty in anything
 
Or this one:
There was this photographer in one of the most remote parts of the African continent on an assignment. He came across a primitive village where the residents were living in thatched huts and wearing colorful primitive garments. He approached a man who appeared to be the chief who was wearing a large headdress made of woven hemp and colorful feathers.The photographer, not knowing how to speak to him, pointed to his camera then to the chief. The chief nodded. As the photographer was taking a meter reading the chief said “today use f/16 at 1/125 for ISO 100”.
 
From (I think) Ross by Terence Rattigan. Applies to much photography, and most photo forums. And, for that matter, the internet as a whole.

"It's a joke. Not the kind you laugh at. Just a joke."

Cheers,

R.
 
An Irish joke wouldn't go amiss..

Two Irish women, Mollie and Mary, are walking the path through the woods one day.

They come across a photographer holding a long telelens at waist-level, busily brushing debris from it, having accidently dropped it on the ground.

Says Mollie to Mary - ''Would you ever look at that thing that fella's holding, it reminds me of my Paddy''.

Says Mary - ''God, is your Paddy as big as that, you lucky woman !''

Says Mollie - ''Awk, I don't mean the size of it, I mean the dirt on it... ''
 
If I had a nickel for every time I needed to change the camera battery...
...I'd have been able to get the battery cover off. <rimshot>
 
There's one about a baby photographer being mistaken for a "sperm donor" - shooting from different angles after he gets his Canon out

It's googleable - didn't want to copy and paste, that seems like cheating ;)
 
Tiger Tanaka to James Bond: "Nonsense, Bond-san. Your Leica is but a child's toy. Here, use my Fujica instead." -- Dante Stella's wonderful re-imagining of You Only Live Twice.
 
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