bmattock
Veteran
I tell you what. This kinda weirdness does not happen to anyone else but me. And now, my wife has been inflicted with my strange attractors as well. I am gonna tell you a story, and you're gonna laugh and say "That didn't happen. No way did that happen." But it did. It happened today, with God as my witness.
Let me start at the beginning. Y'all know I like photography. Yep, I do like to take pitchers. I'm always running around with a camera in my hand. So today was Veteran's Day here in the good ol' USA. Always some kinda celebration going on somewhere on Veteran's Day. Big cities get a parade, small towns get a speech by the Mayor and a coupla guys in WWII-era uniforms and a high school band. Wilson, NC is a small town. With me so far?
So I went down to the courthouse this morning, with Bessa R in hand and about six rolls of film, hoping to get some high-caliber photos of a small-town Veteran's Day celebration. And I did. It was just want I hoped it would be.
I went a little bit early, hoping to figure out camera angles and that kinda stuff, 'cause that's what we photographers do, we figure out camera angles and stuff. As I was wandering around aiming my camera at innocent objects, I made the acquantance of a gentleman from the local chapter of the American Legion. Let's call him George. Mainly 'cause that is his name.
George was there with his grand-daughter and he's a right friendly old cuss. He enquired as to my particular affinity to Veteran's Day celebrations, and I allowed that since I was a US Marine some time ago, I kinda felt an obligation to keep in touch. Well, sir, that was my undoing. George rolled his eyes around like a kid in a candy store, rubbed his hands together with glee, and told his grand-daughter to go fetch his recruiting stuff.
Next thing I knew, my wallet was $20 lighter and I was a gen-u-wine member of the American Legion, John Anderson Chapter 13 of Wilson, North Carolina.
It turned out that George was the chapter President or some such, and he proceeded to introduce me to just about everyone wearing a funny hat, and they all made much of your hero. It is to blush, really.
Well, I had just shrugged that off and gotten back to the serious work of photography when I was approached by a representative of the local gubbermint. Seems the town had kind of forgotten to hire a photographer to document the event, and they'd sure like a pitcher or two if I didn't mind too much. Something for the local newspaper, maybe the city website. No, your hero was flattered! I just hoped that I had remembered to take the lens cap off the camera this time - and put film in the camera, focused, and so on. I gave up a small prayer to St. Vidicon of Cathode and got back to work.
Then one of the American Legion faction approached and hired me to come to an event they were having this very evening in the American Legion headquarters, a dinner that me and my wife were cordially invited to - but I must bring my camera and and take photos of young honorees of some program that the Legion had sponsored them into. Suckered again, I agreed. What the heck, free food, eh?
As soon as the ceremonies were over, I high-tailed it over to the local one-hour photo place and dropped off said film, which turned out actually not too bad. I then informed my wife of the upcoming festivities, donned slightly more suitable attire - a ripped pair of blue jeans and an old "Cramps - Bad Music for Bad People" t-shirt being not quite up to the moment in Legion fashion.
Well, the dinner was a lovely thing. The Mayor of Wilson showed up again, great eastern North Carolina BBQ was had, courtesy of Bill's BBQ of Wilson (eastern NC BBQ is a whole 'nother animal, trust me on this - but it's a different story, too).
The awards were made, a real Army Colonel showed up to talk, and I took my little photos. A resounding success, my wife was talked into joining the Auxiliary, so all in all, what an evening eh?
Now.
You might be wondering - what's this all got to do with turning your Jeep Cherokee into a convertible? And you'd be right - it is all kind of strange. But allow me, dear reader, to pull a few threads together.
You recall that I went downtown with the express purpose of getting some photos of a genuine small-town Veteran's Day celebration, yes? So without Veteran's Day, I would have been at work, not downtown Wilson. And without the celebration, the American Legion would not have been lurking about down there, sand-trapping new members with wild abandon. And your hero would not have been lulled into a false sense of ephoria by being sweet-talked by the Mayor's henchman into submitted some of those photos for the City to use on their website and perhaps even in the local fishwrap. And without that impetus, I would NOT have been lulled into joining up with the local chapter of the American Legion, and would NOT have been at the dinner tonight where kids were honored for doing some bloody awful thing, and therefore, my wife and I would NOT have had a delightful Easter North Carolina BBQ dinner.
And. I'm gettin' to it, hang on...
We would not therefore have driven home on Highway 301 at 9:30 this evening. In our Jeep Cherokee. Under the railroad trestle that crosses Highway 301. And directly into the path of a power cable that had come undone and was plummeting, at that very moment we crossed under the bridge, towards our Jeep Cherokee.
WHAM! All your narrator knew was that the top of our Jeep had just been peeled back like a can of tuna.
OK, that was an exaggeration. All it did was smash out our windshield. But the sound effect was much the same - it sounded like a dumptruck load of cinderblocks had been dropped from the bridge onto our Jeep. I hit the binders and spun that Cherokee around like a true bootlegger from the hill country, coming to a graceful stop atop the median and facing back the way we had come.
Heck, I kinda thought we had been shot at. At here's a smart clue for ya. If you think you're being shot at, the clever move is NOT to turn around and face your attacker, especially when they can see you and you can't see them, your windshield is already shattered, and your wife is in the seat next to you, ready to watch you be splattered for your intrinsic logic and dedication to a concept once known briefly as 'machismo.'
Turns out - the power cable fell at more or less the precise time we were going underneath it. What are the odds of that happening? Took out the windshield in rather spectacular fashion, which is more or less the way my luck goes - we had just replaced that very windshield maybe three months ago.
If the cable had still been attached at both ends instead of coming loose completely at one end, yes, the Jeep Cherokee would have become an instant convertible. Unfortunately, it hit the windshield at about chest-high - we'd have been made into convertibles as well, which does not do well for a career in, well, just about anything except being in an urn on someone's shelf and getting dusted from time to time. And that career does not pay well and would not look good on my resume.
So there you have it. Take one Veteran's Day holiday, add a crazed country-music legend who pursues photography as a hobby, stir in the American Legion, and you too can have a convertible Jeep Cherokee in no time.
But it seems like a tad much effort, to be quite honest about it. Next time, I'll just use a Sawz-All.
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
Let me start at the beginning. Y'all know I like photography. Yep, I do like to take pitchers. I'm always running around with a camera in my hand. So today was Veteran's Day here in the good ol' USA. Always some kinda celebration going on somewhere on Veteran's Day. Big cities get a parade, small towns get a speech by the Mayor and a coupla guys in WWII-era uniforms and a high school band. Wilson, NC is a small town. With me so far?
So I went down to the courthouse this morning, with Bessa R in hand and about six rolls of film, hoping to get some high-caliber photos of a small-town Veteran's Day celebration. And I did. It was just want I hoped it would be.
I went a little bit early, hoping to figure out camera angles and that kinda stuff, 'cause that's what we photographers do, we figure out camera angles and stuff. As I was wandering around aiming my camera at innocent objects, I made the acquantance of a gentleman from the local chapter of the American Legion. Let's call him George. Mainly 'cause that is his name.
George was there with his grand-daughter and he's a right friendly old cuss. He enquired as to my particular affinity to Veteran's Day celebrations, and I allowed that since I was a US Marine some time ago, I kinda felt an obligation to keep in touch. Well, sir, that was my undoing. George rolled his eyes around like a kid in a candy store, rubbed his hands together with glee, and told his grand-daughter to go fetch his recruiting stuff.
Next thing I knew, my wallet was $20 lighter and I was a gen-u-wine member of the American Legion, John Anderson Chapter 13 of Wilson, North Carolina.
It turned out that George was the chapter President or some such, and he proceeded to introduce me to just about everyone wearing a funny hat, and they all made much of your hero. It is to blush, really.
Well, I had just shrugged that off and gotten back to the serious work of photography when I was approached by a representative of the local gubbermint. Seems the town had kind of forgotten to hire a photographer to document the event, and they'd sure like a pitcher or two if I didn't mind too much. Something for the local newspaper, maybe the city website. No, your hero was flattered! I just hoped that I had remembered to take the lens cap off the camera this time - and put film in the camera, focused, and so on. I gave up a small prayer to St. Vidicon of Cathode and got back to work.
Then one of the American Legion faction approached and hired me to come to an event they were having this very evening in the American Legion headquarters, a dinner that me and my wife were cordially invited to - but I must bring my camera and and take photos of young honorees of some program that the Legion had sponsored them into. Suckered again, I agreed. What the heck, free food, eh?
As soon as the ceremonies were over, I high-tailed it over to the local one-hour photo place and dropped off said film, which turned out actually not too bad. I then informed my wife of the upcoming festivities, donned slightly more suitable attire - a ripped pair of blue jeans and an old "Cramps - Bad Music for Bad People" t-shirt being not quite up to the moment in Legion fashion.
Well, the dinner was a lovely thing. The Mayor of Wilson showed up again, great eastern North Carolina BBQ was had, courtesy of Bill's BBQ of Wilson (eastern NC BBQ is a whole 'nother animal, trust me on this - but it's a different story, too).
The awards were made, a real Army Colonel showed up to talk, and I took my little photos. A resounding success, my wife was talked into joining the Auxiliary, so all in all, what an evening eh?
Now.
You might be wondering - what's this all got to do with turning your Jeep Cherokee into a convertible? And you'd be right - it is all kind of strange. But allow me, dear reader, to pull a few threads together.
You recall that I went downtown with the express purpose of getting some photos of a genuine small-town Veteran's Day celebration, yes? So without Veteran's Day, I would have been at work, not downtown Wilson. And without the celebration, the American Legion would not have been lurking about down there, sand-trapping new members with wild abandon. And your hero would not have been lulled into a false sense of ephoria by being sweet-talked by the Mayor's henchman into submitted some of those photos for the City to use on their website and perhaps even in the local fishwrap. And without that impetus, I would NOT have been lulled into joining up with the local chapter of the American Legion, and would NOT have been at the dinner tonight where kids were honored for doing some bloody awful thing, and therefore, my wife and I would NOT have had a delightful Easter North Carolina BBQ dinner.
And. I'm gettin' to it, hang on...
We would not therefore have driven home on Highway 301 at 9:30 this evening. In our Jeep Cherokee. Under the railroad trestle that crosses Highway 301. And directly into the path of a power cable that had come undone and was plummeting, at that very moment we crossed under the bridge, towards our Jeep Cherokee.
WHAM! All your narrator knew was that the top of our Jeep had just been peeled back like a can of tuna.
OK, that was an exaggeration. All it did was smash out our windshield. But the sound effect was much the same - it sounded like a dumptruck load of cinderblocks had been dropped from the bridge onto our Jeep. I hit the binders and spun that Cherokee around like a true bootlegger from the hill country, coming to a graceful stop atop the median and facing back the way we had come.
Heck, I kinda thought we had been shot at. At here's a smart clue for ya. If you think you're being shot at, the clever move is NOT to turn around and face your attacker, especially when they can see you and you can't see them, your windshield is already shattered, and your wife is in the seat next to you, ready to watch you be splattered for your intrinsic logic and dedication to a concept once known briefly as 'machismo.'
Turns out - the power cable fell at more or less the precise time we were going underneath it. What are the odds of that happening? Took out the windshield in rather spectacular fashion, which is more or less the way my luck goes - we had just replaced that very windshield maybe three months ago.
If the cable had still been attached at both ends instead of coming loose completely at one end, yes, the Jeep Cherokee would have become an instant convertible. Unfortunately, it hit the windshield at about chest-high - we'd have been made into convertibles as well, which does not do well for a career in, well, just about anything except being in an urn on someone's shelf and getting dusted from time to time. And that career does not pay well and would not look good on my resume.
So there you have it. Take one Veteran's Day holiday, add a crazed country-music legend who pursues photography as a hobby, stir in the American Legion, and you too can have a convertible Jeep Cherokee in no time.
But it seems like a tad much effort, to be quite honest about it. Next time, I'll just use a Sawz-All.
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
FrankS
Registered User
Man, oh, man, that was one well told story! It came to my mind to stop half way through it just to let you know what a good time I was having, reading it. You have a very entertaining writing style as well as an interesting and bizarre story to tell. Thank you! Glad to hear that you and the missus are all right too!
O
Oldprof
Guest
That does it! I ain't joining the American Legion! 
Marvelous story Bill.
Marvelous story Bill.
Yep, see what excitement ensues upon becoming a genuine American Legionnaire! I did it by mail, much less interesting.
back alley
IMAGES
omg!
is it true?
i was starting to fear the end but then i realized you were telling the tale so you had to have lived through it.
i hope you're ok and the same for mrs. bill.
man, that's gonna be in a movie some day!
joe
is it true?
i was starting to fear the end but then i realized you were telling the tale so you had to have lived through it.
i hope you're ok and the same for mrs. bill.
man, that's gonna be in a movie some day!
joe
S
st3ph3nm
Guest
LOL!!!
Bill, glad you're both okay, but you know, I hate to say it, I'm glad it happened, because that's the best thing I've read all month!
Really like your style! Gonna show us some photos of the shin-dig?
Cheers,
Steve
Bill, glad you're both okay, but you know, I hate to say it, I'm glad it happened, because that's the best thing I've read all month!
Really like your style! Gonna show us some photos of the shin-dig?
Cheers,
Steve
mac_wt
Cameras are like bunnies
Great story! Now where are the pictures?
I hope you're both allright.
Wim
I hope you're both allright.
Wim
Well, bummer about the Jeep, but very good to hear that you and your bride are well.
Now, it sounds like you are fit'n in right well in your new community.
You forgot to give us a link to the town's website so we can see your handy work.
Now, it sounds like you are fit'n in right well in your new community.
You forgot to give us a link to the town's website so we can see your handy work.
bmattock
Veteran
All:
Thanks for the kind words and comments! Yes, we're both quite OK, but the Jeep is going to need a new windshield at the minimum, and who knows what else - that cable whipped around the front end of the car and left it's mark, let me tell you!
I'm furiously scanning, but still have several rolls of film to go - and then cleanup! I'll provide both scans and links as soon as they are available. In the meantime, here's one lone photo to kind of whet your appetite...
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
Thanks for the kind words and comments! Yes, we're both quite OK, but the Jeep is going to need a new windshield at the minimum, and who knows what else - that cable whipped around the front end of the car and left it's mark, let me tell you!
I'm furiously scanning, but still have several rolls of film to go - and then cleanup! I'll provide both scans and links as soon as they are available. In the meantime, here's one lone photo to kind of whet your appetite...
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
Last edited:
Glad you two are Okay and we are not reading a tragedy on the Highway story!
Sounds like a nice place that you have fallen into. Now that you have turned into a professional photographer called on by the local government, you are going to have to keep more of those cameras!
Sounds like a nice place that you have fallen into. Now that you have turned into a professional photographer called on by the local government, you are going to have to keep more of those cameras!
bmattock
Veteran
Brian Sweeney said:
Actually, if I'm going to have photos of mine show up in the local paper, maybe I should learn to take a decent photo!
Anyway, here's one more. I have to get to work, I'll do more later.
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
Last edited:
Pherdinand
the snow must go on
whew, that had to be scary, Bill.
S
sfaust
Guest
Glad it turned out as well as it did considering the circumstances. As a consolation prize, at least you have a great story to add to your lives tales! Keep it up and you'll have no problem getting a Bill Mattocks Life Story book published!!!
Seriously, glad everything worked out ok, and congrats on the photo assignments.
Seriously, glad everything worked out ok, and congrats on the photo assignments.
denishr
アナログ侘・&#
Great story, and well told, too!
Glad you're both OK - and, BTW, I don't think there's anything wrong with your photos, so I really doubt there's much left for you to learn
Great shots!
Denis
Glad you're both OK - and, BTW, I don't think there's anything wrong with your photos, so I really doubt there's much left for you to learn
Great shots!
Denis
Bubba
Still learning
Great story Bill. I'm glad you didn't get hurt. I really like the picture with the program.
Bubba
Bubba
bmattock
Veteran
And here, at long last, is the link to the photos I took at the Veteran's Day Program in Wilson, NC. I tried to take some photos of my Jeep and the busted-out windshield, but they didn't come out so good. Glare and all, I guess.
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
http://www.growlery.com/veterans_day_2004/
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
http://www.growlery.com/veterans_day_2004/
There are quite a few nice shots there Bill. In a small town having a relationship with the local newspaper may be beneficial some day. You should approach them about getting an official press pass and do some freelance for them. It may be a mutually beneficial relationship. There may not be a lot of stuff that folks in the big cities expect happening in Wilson, but from the look of the Veteran's Day Cerimonies, there are some things that a small town does better.
back alley
IMAGES
wow, great job bill!
some very good stuff there.
i really like the bugle on the lap and the flag coated guy reading the program (2nd one).
i think the local rag is gonna offer you a job after they see this work.
joe
some very good stuff there.
i really like the bugle on the lap and the flag coated guy reading the program (2nd one).
i think the local rag is gonna offer you a job after they see this work.
joe
bmattock
Veteran
Thanks for the kind words, guys. I was not pleased with some of my work yesterday - but here you see the keepers and the junkers for now - I'll sort through them later. I note with some sadness that my new/old 135 f4.5 Steinheil LTM is not really up to the job - it flares out given even a tiny bit of sun pointing in it's vague direction. However, it can do portraits - several of the close-up 'street portraits' were taken with it on the Bessa R. I also used a Canon 50mm f1.4 and an A. Schacht Travenar 90mm f2.8. The Schacht was laser-sharp, as always.
Anyway, thanks again!
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
Anyway, thanks again!
Best Regards,
Bill Mattocks
Honu-Hugger
Well-known
Thank God you and your wife came through that, Bill. I think I would have had to clean my shorts before heading to the nearest tavern for a strong nerve tonic. That's a really close call, so glad you're still here to tell of it. Any injuries from the glass? You didn't mention any so I assume not -- absolutely amazing!
D2
D2