sf
Veteran
And my face is tingling. I'm sweating. The window is wide open, and it's no help.
KEH had it. They HAD it. Now I have it . . .nearly. A week in post, and it will be mine. This is a big day for me.
I went back to see if it had been removed after my purchase - just now - as i write this. I bought it only 2 minutes ago. It has - which just reinforces the bought-ness of it.
There is a sense of freedom. I suppose akin to what one feels the pico-second after pulling the trigger, bullet set off to finish the distance of 4 inches to the skull. The feeling of release. Like that step into cool, fresh air, having just turned in the last of your final exams, last quarter of senior year in college. And I wonder if perhaps I had only died moments before, in some freak accident of weather, or had maybe twiddled my toe into the electrical socket again under the desk.
It is real. This proves it.
It is almost like realizing I've fallen in love. I have this smile that I can't shake. Nothing else matters.
And random, maniacal fits of cackling laughter, here, alone in my room which feels ever so much smaller now. I had one of those fits shortly after recognizing that I HAD in fact, actually just bought the thing.
I expect that I might have been better off if I'd actually gone to bed when I should have. . . . it is 3:30AM and i must be up and alive at 8AM.
I want to hang onto this moment. I don't want to go to sleep because I'm afraid that I might wake into a different world, where that lens doesn't exist and my hobby is spoons or something equally . . .
you all will never hear the end of this. This is no rant. This is the inkling of the thought to inhale before the first keystroke of the rant begins.
KEH. . . .I'm speechless you guys. Nothing to say.
KEH had it. They HAD it. Now I have it . . .nearly. A week in post, and it will be mine. This is a big day for me.
I went back to see if it had been removed after my purchase - just now - as i write this. I bought it only 2 minutes ago. It has - which just reinforces the bought-ness of it.
There is a sense of freedom. I suppose akin to what one feels the pico-second after pulling the trigger, bullet set off to finish the distance of 4 inches to the skull. The feeling of release. Like that step into cool, fresh air, having just turned in the last of your final exams, last quarter of senior year in college. And I wonder if perhaps I had only died moments before, in some freak accident of weather, or had maybe twiddled my toe into the electrical socket again under the desk.
It is real. This proves it.
It is almost like realizing I've fallen in love. I have this smile that I can't shake. Nothing else matters.
And random, maniacal fits of cackling laughter, here, alone in my room which feels ever so much smaller now. I had one of those fits shortly after recognizing that I HAD in fact, actually just bought the thing.
I expect that I might have been better off if I'd actually gone to bed when I should have. . . . it is 3:30AM and i must be up and alive at 8AM.
I want to hang onto this moment. I don't want to go to sleep because I'm afraid that I might wake into a different world, where that lens doesn't exist and my hobby is spoons or something equally . . .
you all will never hear the end of this. This is no rant. This is the inkling of the thought to inhale before the first keystroke of the rant begins.
KEH. . . .I'm speechless you guys. Nothing to say.
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