Of Suicide Notes

[ray_g]

Most suicide notes are written by women. Women generally commit suicide with pills or some "less traumatic" means. Men, on the other hand, tend to shoot themselves, often without leaving any notes. They "just do it." Even more are the number who leave notes, and make a non-lethal attempt. This is generally viewed as a call for help or attention.

This came to my mind after reading so many threads of "I am leaving RFF" and general posts of dissatisfaction.

I came here, liked it and am staying as long as I like it here and it interests me. Then, maybe I will leave. That's the nature of online fora. Some people come, some people go. It's all the whining and drama that's kind of irritating.

 

[back alley]

we like having you here ray!

joe

 

[kaiyen]

Ray,
First off - this thread has a chance of really exploding. Hopefully I will not contribute to that.

Having said that - I hear what you are saying. I have done my share of each of those - announcing my departure, just leaving, and sometimes announcing then not leaving. Now, I would not make any announcement, or be melodramatic about it. What you say is absolutely correct - stay here while you like it, leave when you don't. It's no big deal. People change, interests change, and communities change.

allan

 

[butch]

Back in 1962 in Ms. Terry's Drama 3001, she called such build up followed by event "denoument". Of course she pronounced it in French. I thought this would be a good chance to use a word that it's taken 40 something years for me to find of need.

 

[peterc]

It's all the whining and drama that's kind of irritating.

When I've left online forums I've made it a rule to just quietly vanish.
It has usually been for one (or a combination) of three reasons. When it's religion or politics (they might actually be the same, I'm not sure), there's really no point pointing out that you're bugged since those espousing whatever view has annoyed you know they're "right" and won't listen anyway. When it's boredom ... it's best just to fade away.

Peter

 

[ray_g]

Before anyone misunderstands, let me point out that the suicide factoids are just that, and were not meant as a negative commentary on women.

In fact, IIRC, the women here, like Natalia, have come and gone with no drama at all. None of the "Hey look at me...I am leaving because you guys all s*ck" attitude.

 

[rover]

Dude, you can't go anywhere, I may need to hit you up for a loan of a 90 Summicon or fast 85. Wanna go to a gala event at MidState Med Center on 4/6? Jazz concert, we can photograph the concert.

 

[ray_g]

Oh, I ain't leaving. I'm having too much fun here. Not unless I get banned, Joe. Then, I'll have my wife start posting. 😉

Tell me more, Rover. That sounds like an interesting plan. 🙂 Do we need to get all dressed up?

 

[Sonnar Brian]

Well I'm glad this is not really about suicide notes.

My Father specialized in Suicide Prevention and was often called in for the psychological post mortems.

As a kid, I remember him getting a phone call from a student at Auburn University, "gun in one hand and phone in the other". When my father got to him, he (the student) was alive, and well, and being consoled in a Sorority House. Others did not have such happy endings.

 

[George S.]

Speaking for myself, I generally don't like it when 'regular' contributors just vanish from the forum without a word. I'm speaking of 'normal' regular contributors, not someone who only posted once or twice, and definitely not those who's only contribution has been to argue or put down others.

If a 'regular' suddenly leaves, we don't know if they just needed a break, or were hospitalized or had a family emergency of some kind, or were sent by their employer to the field office in innermost Outer Mongolia for six months. I'm also not speaking of a 'suicide note' where they throw a verbal hand grenade at us and tell us to all go screw ourselves, but I'm referring to a simple "Bye for now everyone, see you later".

I was a longtime member of another forum, a 'dead' film SLR system, which had recently morphed into a digital discussion forum of that same camera manufacturer. After discussing that film system for about 8 years, there really was nothing new left to talk about, and I really had no interest in any digital SLR system, and I was no longer eager to read the forum postings. I simply explained this, and told the members "Bye" and that I would sincerely miss all my good friends there. I received a lot of "farewells" in return and left on good terms.

 

[VinceC]

I think it's polite to let folks know when changing circumstances are causing you to leave party or club or other social interaction.

There are other folks, however, who not only stand on the roofs of high-rises threatening to jump, but who also make earnest attempts to drag would-be rescuers along with them. ... Those're the people you need to be careful of.

>>Well I'm glad this is not really about suicide notes.
My Father specialized in Suicide Prevention and was often called in for the psychological post mortems.
As a kid, I remember him getting a phone call from a student at Auburn University, "gun in one hand and phone in the other". When my father got to him, he (the student) was alive, and well, and being consoled in a Sorority House. Others did not have such happy endings.<<

Thanks, Brian. That's a very interesting/thought-provoking anecdote. I raised two teenagers before my current batch of kids came along, and we had our share of tense episodes. I like young people because they can be so passionate and intense and questioning ... it keeps you young, in a way, too. But the downside is that when they're emotionally down, they can get REALLY DOWN.

Maybe that's why we all like cameras so much. They're complex, with endless possibilities. But -- quite unlike people -- cameras, once you learn how to handle them, almost always make sense, are predictable and, if necessary, can be readjusted during a quiet, contemplative evening.

 

[peterc]

I was a longtime member of another forum, a 'dead' film SLR system...

I guess this is an example of what I'd call a boredom departure.

Speaking for myself, I generally don't like it when 'regular' contributors just vanish from the forum without a word.

I find that when I become bored [no longer interested] with the direction a board has taken (such as the instance you state), I usually stick around for a while but gradually drop from regular contributor to occasional to lurker before finally deleting the site from my bookmarks. It becomes sort of a fade to black.

I only left one board abruptly (going from a daily contributor to gone in a single day) and that was due to deciding I could no longer stomach the incessant religious and political themes that had permeated the board.

Peter

 

[SolaresLarrave]

I really hate the online suicidal notes. They simply represent the author's most bitter reproach: like saying they're so perfect, sensitive and so principled that they can't tolerate the company of the scum that still posts on the forum.

So, it's basically a slap in the face rather than a farewell.

And I have never hesitated telling those who write them what I think about their actions. In fact, I can't remember on whose suicidal threat it was, I felt very insulted about the poster's reasons to abandon RFF, so I wrote something along the lines of what I wrote above.

I'm glad to see I'm not alone.

BTW, the only forum I abandoned was one in which there was so much SLR talk I felt a bit displaced. Then came RFF, so I posted every time less and less and less... and then nothing at all.

They did have good fights, though... 😉